Advice

[Lola11 0]

Is it wrong to not want my family and friends to know about my surgery? My husband is the only person that knows and at first I was okay with that but now I kinda feel guilty not confiding to my parents and my 2 best friends

[KinkySlinky 3]

It is NOT wrong... It is YOUR decision who you want to tell... Obviously, there's a reason you aren't telling them... You may already know they won't be happy with your decision and will try to talk you out of it, or whatever... There's clearly a reason you aren't telling them, and you shouldn't have to!!! In the end, it isn't their business... I am not telling anyone except my husband either... No reason to feel guilty..

But if it is killing you, then think really hard about whether or not you want them to know... Because once you tell them, there's no taking it back... If you think they will support you and be happy for you, then have at it!! If they will not be supportive or will say negative things about your decision, then it's probably best to keep it to yourself.... Just my thoughts!!

[FuriosMommy 3]

Like kinky (cute name) said, it's totally up to you. You have to do what is best for you. If you feel they will be supportive and you need their support then you can tell them. But if you'd rather not, I think that's fine too. During the approval process my Husband, in laws and parents knew, but my Brother didn't. I didn't want too many people to know until it was a sure thing. I email my brother a week before my surgery to let him know. Because honestly, if he was going through something like this and I didn't know, I would feel a little hurt and left out. But that's just us... we were close growing up, fat growing up, we grew away, he lost over 250lbs in a year, then gained it all back. I think we were close growing up because we knew what it was like to be uncool, heavy, outsider kid. Now that the surgery has been done and things are going well I don't really care who knows. But again, this is your journey and your decision so tell who you feel comfortable telling.

[kellyw74 258]

i am not telling anyone but my husband either! it is really nobody's business but mine!

some are just so negative and don't understand or think it is such an EASY solution! i don't want to hear it. i have struggled since i was 9. i have failed miserably and I am over it!

I don't want to hear negative, I want to get on with it and that is why i choose not to tell anyone!

I have already lost 50lbs. pre-op, so I think after the surgery, they will never know unless i tell them because I will just continue to lose what I have already started!

best of luck to you all!

Kelly

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

Its your decision.

I found it easier to be up front... that way when I need help, I can ask honestly.

[Margaret 4]

gut feelings are usually right. I wish I'd told NO ONE but a very few close friends. My surgery is next week and I think the whole world is going to call to see how I'm doing. Dread it!

Is it wrong to not want my family and friends to know about my surgery? My husband is the only person that knows and at first I was okay with that but now I kinda feel guilty not confiding to my parents and my 2 best friends

[Staci 4]

My co-workers know and either go out of the way to avoid me when ordering out or try to "sabotage" me since finding out, either way makes me uncomfortable. I sometimes feel like I'm under a microscope when I do eat, but the truth is I dd this for "me" and all the spectators/naysayers can eat their hearts out when the new me emerges!! Best wishes to you!!!

[warrior68 16]

You have to tell, or not tell people based on what you think is right for you, you are the only concern here. That being said, I will say that just as with most things in life, each person you tell will most likely go to at least one more person and say, "dont say anything to anyone but" and then that person will go on to tell one more person. If ts only you and your husband that know, you know he wont say anything, because if it gets out, he is the only possible source, if a handful of people know, others will be told, and they all will deny saying anything. Long and short of it, people love to gossip, always have, always will.

[swizzly 901]

I totally didn't tell my family or colleagues -- just my husband and a couple of close friends. I'm happy I didn't tell, I will take my time and tell them when/how I want to. Or IF I even want to.

[smileforamile91 2]

I told my:mom, dad, brother, b/f, and best friend. I do not regret that decision! however it was my decision, and this is yours. I will tell you that yesterday I told two people that I consider my good friends, and did not get the positive reaction I was hoping for. If you know they won't be supportive then maybe you shouldnt tell them because you need all the positive energy you can get right now, you have to have a support group, just remember we are all always here for you if you need anything!

[Lola11 0]

Thank you everyone for your responses, its really helped me stick to my decision.

[Rev Me Up! 75]

I am a private person, so only my partner and my mother know about it. It is no one's business. This is a medical matter and weight loss is such a personal subject. I don't need anyone judging my progress or my decision.

It is a personal decision. You may find after it is done that you don't mind sharing with people.

Lara

[mjb123 3]

I only told my husband. Not even my step children know and they live with us. They just thought I went back home for a few days and I've managed to fool them for the past three weeks. I told my work I would be on vacation, and left it at that. It is possible to not tell anyone if you really plan ahead and have everything you need, but for me it has been wonderful to have at least my husband and his support.

I knew I would keep it personal because I didn't want any negativity about my losing weight and how I was doing it. Everyone had known I was starting a new healthy lifestyle at New Years so I set them up for it.

Good luck with your decision, and know that if you need support, this forum is great for it!

[meggiep 57]

As I posted a couple of days ago- I regret telling my siblings. Two of them, as well as two of my nieces, are trying to stop me from doing it. They are totally anti medical model and completely unable to truly see my life, as an almost totally disabled person imprisoned in her body. It has really hurt and if I was to go back I would not tell them.