Still Deciding and Scared!

[optasia 3]

Yes, I'm a big baby. I'm going to the initial meeting next week and then have 12 weeks of classes. I am rather terrified. I'm worried that I'll regret it. I have not read of one person that has regretted getting the surgery, but, really, what are they going to say? You kind of have to talk yourself into accepting what you've done, so to admit that you regret it would be torture. This is written respectfully. I'm just being honest about what I think.

1. I suffer with slight depression and REALLY worry about feeling down afterward. I read a lot of people saying they feel blue and irritable. I have children and a busy life, I don't want to torture my family with cranky/sad me! I don't have free time to rest and heal.

2. I want to enjoy socializing with family and friends over dinner. Can I eat everything within moderation one day?

3. How do I tell in-laws who would totally not support my decision and see it as weakness? How do I get through a holiday meal with them, which would come a few short months after having the surgery?

4. Fearful of complications.

5. I've read it's hard to sleep for a while afterward.....I'm big on sleep. I really, really need it.

6. My husband and family are large people. This will be very different for them....not sure what else to say

Why I need it:

1. I'm constantly tired, self conscious and since getting into my 40's (ugh) I just don't feel as great carrying the weight around.

2. My kids: They eat like I do, are self-conscious of how they look, have had their friends make comments about me. I want them to feel and look great and enjoy life! I want them to treat their bodies respectfully.

3. My husband...whom I love dearly. I want to be healthy and look good for him.

4. I want to ice skate with my daughter, ride horses with my oldest and wear a dress for my 5 yr old boy (he's never seen me in one).

5. I want people to see me (the color of my eyes, my talents, hear my thoughts) and not just see fat. Seriously, there is another chunky lady at my son's school and everyone gets us confused. We do not look alike that much, but they simply see our fat.

6. I want to set a good example and have my focus on God and family, not food.

SO much more....

Thanks for letting me vent.

[AutumnLily 77]

First of all this is a major step you are going to take so you are NOT being a big baby.

There is instances of depression and all I can say is you should discuss this matter with your doctor on how to treat the situation.

I have heard several post sleevers (over 1 year out) that are able to eat anything within moderation. Now there may be some that can not eat a certain food or prefer to not eat certain things but it is as individual as how we are all individual.

The inlaws thats a tricky one. I have heard some bad reactions and good reactions on here. Maybe you could test them out with something similar and see how they react. Just to get an idea.

Complications can occur with any surgery. The sleeve surgery complications are lower than the RNY and lap band. I would suggest finding out how many surgeries your doc has done, what is their complication rate and what were the complications. Knowledge makes you feel more at ease.

I slept like a log before surgery and after surgery. Some people felt the gas pains post op more than others but it goes away shortly. Just remember get up and walk as soon as you can to help move the gas out.

Hope I have shared some information that is helpful for you. Welcome to the group. There is plenty of information on these boards. You will probably spend a lot of time checking out different things. I know I did when I found this site!

[chilo1 62]

I think we all have/had fears before our surgery.

I didn't tell my inlaws-in fact i told a very small group of people, the last thing I needed was people criticising me when I'd already made the desicion and had my fears and worries about it anyway.

I went to a party last night and felt fantastic, had the food that was available (and drink!) but in moderation, enjoyed it thoroughly and was able to get up and dance, take my coat off and feel good about myself!

Complications happen, but aren't very common. Complications from being obese are much more common and likely to kill us.

Hope this helps, and believe me , you're not a big baby, it's a big step to take (and some people would even say drastic) but it's worth it

[bilka 6]

Hello optasia!

Of course it's your choice, but what I can tell you from my personal experience is that I can sleep well. An example: I woke up past 11 this morning. I wake up at 8 every morning and get my nice 9 hours of sleep every night (I don't have kids yet). I had problems with sleeping the first 2 weeks, because of the scars, but that's it.

I am not even 2 months out and I already go to parties. I try almost everything, just in very small amounts.

I have lost 15 kgs/33 lbs and I already like myself so much, I can't believe it's me the one in the mirror! The thing is, I don't miss food, I am just not interested anymore. I can compare myself to my skinny friends now, the ones who are full with a small amount of food and never talk about it.

I really don't feel like I am missing things. I actually feel like I have a lot of time to concentrate on stuff other than food!

I was lucky with my in-laws (mother-in-law in very understanding, my father-in-law was and still is in Afghanistan, so no-one told him), maybe yours will be understand too... You never know!

[ISHANTI80 0]

Yes, I'm a big baby. I'm going to the initial meeting next week and then have 12 weeks of classes. I am rather terrified. I'm worried that I'll regret it. I have not read of one person that has regretted getting the surgery, but, really, what are they going to say? You kind of have to talk yourself into accepting what you've done, so to admit that you regret it would be torture. This is written respectfully. I'm just being honest about what I think.

1. I suffer with slight depression and REALLY worry about feeling down afterward. I read a lot of people saying they feel blue and irritable. I have children and a busy life, I don't want to torture my family with cranky/sad me! I don't have free time to rest and heal.

2. I want to enjoy socializing with family and friends over dinner. Can I eat everything within moderation one day?

3. How do I tell in-laws who would totally not support my decision and see it as weakness? How do I get through a holiday meal with them, which would come a few short months after having the surgery?

4. Fearful of complications.

5. I've read it's hard to sleep for a while afterward.....I'm big on sleep. I really, really need it.

6. My husband and family are large people. This will be very different for them....not sure what else to say

Why I need it:

1. I'm constantly tired, self conscious and since getting into my 40's (ugh) I just don't feel as great carrying the weight around.

2. My kids: They eat like I do, are self-conscious of how they look, have had their friends make comments about me. I want them to feel and look great and enjoy life! I want them to treat their bodies respectfully.

3. My husband...whom I love dearly. I want to be healthy and look good for him.

4. I want to ice skate with my daughter, ride horses with my oldest and wear a dress for my 5 yr old boy (he's never seen me in one).

5. I want people to see me (the color of my eyes, my talents, hear my thoughts) and not just see fat. Seriously, there is another chunky lady at my son's school and everyone gets us confused. We do not look alike that much, but they simply see our fat.

6. I want to set a good example and have my focus on God and family, not food.

SO much more

Thanks for letting me vent.

THE HONESTY THAT YOU RELEASE IS REMARKABLE I CAN TRULY RELATE WITH DEEP EMOTION!!!

[NJMOMof2 17]

You're feelings on both ends are perfectly natural and I think you are approaching it in a very good way, listing the fears/benefits.

I have a very bad issue to anxiety/depression and I asked my doctor to increase my meds before surgery and it was the BEST thing I ever did. The pain meds, anestesia do a lot to your psyche and it's good to be prepared. The great thing though, is that it's all TEMPORARY. I was feeling PERFECT after 4 weeks but it took a little longer to deal with confidence is eating out in social situations. Being involved with a support group is extrememly helpful in that situation!

Good luck. you will do GREAT!

[Billy363627 15]

There are complications with any surgery you have and this one carries risk but they are a very low percentage.. You have to do this for you and your medical condition..When you look in the mirror and say hey I did this for me than all other thought you have about your decesion is erased. Will there be days where you are blue of course, but when you feel that way you have to tell yourself you did this for yourself. I feel sad sometimes but I made the deceision to have this and I am very glad I did. I actually am sad that I couldn't have had the surgery sooner..what I know now and what I have been through I would do it 100 times over. It is work because this is really a tool and nothing more. It will help you make better choices about what you choose to eat.. You do have kinda weird dreams for about 2 to 3 weeks afterwards but it didn't cause me not to get sleep.. I don't think I have ever lost a night sleep over this. The most important part of all of this is to make 100 % certain you are doing this for YOU.