Weight loss and friends

[lash44 313]

To Be Thin 2011,

We want our friends to understand us, to lift us up when we are down. Real friends don't put their fellow partners below them. It is a bit painful when the people you respect the most, don't want to see you move forward. My four basic elements of friendship are understanding, communication, satisfaction, and security. If any of the elements are missing then the friendship is in trouble. We are singing the same song, lets leave the nay sayers to their nasty selves. We want to be with be people who are positive. Going though WLS is traumatic within itself, and having to deal with people who are continuously putting others down is just so unnecessary and a complete waste of our time.

After some soul searching, I have decided to separate myself from the people who refuse to respect my decisions concerning my health and well being. I never felt I would have to this, a few of these folks I known for over twenty years. But this is something I should have done long before the sleeve. Now it's Friday and I am ready for the weekend.

Take care and be well,

Lash

I too told very few people, my husband, kids and my sister. At a weak moment I told my best friend and she reacted exactly the way I did not want people to react... she was like "no, no,dont cut yourself open -- I can help you lose weight, we can do it together" blah,,,blah... She is thin. I am obese. I was seeking the help I needed by having the surgery. I am almost at my 3 month mark and my best friend has been there to knock me down every step of the way....nothing but negative words about me having surgery... we are slowly drifting apart, I dont need to be around the negativeness like that. I have to keep reminding myself that I cannot control other peoples thoughts, words or actions. I only have control of myself and that is a full time job!

Thank goodness for this forum so we can all see we are not alone!

[KinkySlinky 3]

I've always thought that when people aren't happy that a friend or relative is losing weight, it's probably because they are losing the person that plays the fat role. They want to keep YOU down so that it will make themselves feel better... The thin never want the heavy to lose weight (some times... at least among women).. Just because they are no longer "the hot chick and her fat friend," it's now the "two hot chicks." Or, in your case, the two hot men lol... Which makes them an equal to you... and a lot of people can't handle that.. Some relationships are based on one person being "better" than the other... and those are toxic relationships that really need to be severed if the foundation is not changed... I have no intentions of telling anyone about the surgery because I feel it is a private issue... But if there are people that can't handle it, then they need to go.. I have a feeling I have a few friends that won't be able to handle it as well... We will see.. Good luck to you!!!

[lash44 313]

KinkySlinky, (cool name),

Men are very competitive, it's in our DNA. From pee wee sports as little boys to big time sports such as football to NASCAR. It's said only men start wars. That's something just in the male species, there even something the psych heads call penis envy (that's heavy). I think when it comes to ones health, then being competitive should be thrown out the window. But being jealous, mean, and hateful has no gender.

I find it most interesting in which more and more people are deciding to keep their surgery private because of ridiculous family, friends, and coworkers making cruel and insulting remarks. Yet the most important matter is to progress both physically and mentally meet our goal toward excellent health.

Lash

I've always thought that when people aren't happy that a friend or relative is losing weight, it's probably because they are losing the person that plays the fat role. They want to keep YOU down so that it will make themselves feel better... The thin never want the heavy to lose weight (some times... at least among women).. Just because they are no longer "the hot chick and her fat friend," it's now the "two hot chicks." Or, in your case, the two hot men lol... Which makes them an equal to you... and a lot of people can't handle that.. Some relationships are based on one person being "better" than the other... and those are toxic relationships that really need to be severed if the foundation is not changed... I have no intentions of telling anyone about the surgery because I feel it is a private issue... But if there are people that can't handle it, then they need to go.. I have a feeling I have a few friends that won't be able to handle it as well... We will see.. Good luck to you!!!