feeling yucky

[melanieleigh 1]

Okay so I am usually very upbeat. But today I am feeling blue. It's pouring rain here, there hasn't been any sunshine for days, I haven't walked this whole week, outside of going to my classes. I want to be in a size 14 sooo bad!! I can get them on up over my butt and but there is like two inches between the button and the hole. I keep having to put it in perspective, it has only been 8 weeks. I mean really! My double chin won't go away, and it is all that I see when I look in the mirror. My stomach fat is starting to really hang now, and my inner thighs, and instead of feeling prettier, I am feeling uglier. Everything looks bad in the mirror right now. People have said that the double chin won't go away, that the skin will just hang there. I am 40 and realize that my skin has lost is elasticity but I was really, really hoping that the double chin would disappear. AND I HATE TO EXERCISE. I am walking, weather permitting, and doing crunches a couple times a week, but I know I need to be hard at it EVERY day. So the bad habits are still there, although I haven't blown it with food. That has been the one constant for me, thank god. I am losing, no stall, I have been down 1.5 - 2 lbs every week and that is all i ever wanted was to have consistent weight loss. Today I weighed in at 236, that is down from 272, that is 36 lbs in 8 weeks, I should be so amazed by that. But today, I am not. I am feeling like a big fat cow, still. The voice in my head that tells me I am fat and ugly and not worth a shit, it is back and I am sad. I have the tools, I know what to do. I just feel frozen in this muck right now. Anyhow, I am so glad I have a place to ramble. Maybe someone has made it all the way through my pity party here, or maybe not. Thank you who ever you are for taking the time to read my feelings. Somethings I can say here that I can't say out loud to anyone else. My husband get's so nervous if I even hint that I am not GREAT all the time, he remembers all the depression and how bad it had a hold of me. So I don't want to burden him with these feelings. It is the middle of the semester as well, and it is the end of my junior year in college, I am tired on so many levels. I quit smoking when I had the surgery and I have not started since and right now I would really like some chocolate and a cigarette. Haha, well enough for now. Bye.

[genepha 47]

Melanie,

First I'd like to say 'sorry' that you are feeling this way. I did some research prior to plication surgery because I remember having kind of a blah feeling a couple months after my Lapband surgery in 2001. I had such high hopes and put in so much energy into researching surgery, weight loss and keeping track of everything that I don't think I really thought about the psychological aspects. I also have been reading up on what our bodies go through when we start losing weight and I think we release hormones and chemicals when losing weight. I read this article and I thought it was interesting and might be helpful for you.

I hope you feel better soon. You are doing great and you are probably just in a tough spot right now. Keeping doing what you are doing as it seems to be working great!!

Take care of you,

Prior to obesity surgery many of us consumed copious amounts of processed carbohydrates including sugar, refined flour, starches and grains. In the body carbohydrates meet up with the amino acid tryptophan and make serotonin, the "feel-good" hormone that stimulates the brain as a comforting mood enhancer. macaroni & cheese is an American favorite comfort food, and for good reason. It combines enough tryptophan with enough high-carb Pasta to produce sufficient serotonin, which relieves symptoms of depression and boosts feelings of contentment.

Enter weight loss surgery and the Protein first, limited fat,and low carbohydrate diet. Suddenly the biological process of serotonin conversion is out of order. We no longer have the means to self-medicate our mood with foods that boost serotonin levels, yet we continue to have the cravings because our body is crying for help. It does not know any other way to manage mood. It just makes sense that this extreme dietary change results in an altered mood and in some cases, a state of biological panic or emotional depression

[FatToPhat 83]

This too shall pass. Hang in there! It WILL get better! Or so they tell me!

[melanieleigh 1]

That was a great article, thank you so much. I never even thought about that. I am going to do some research of my own now and see what I can do to overcome the blues. I am feeling better today. I am not one to wallow to long in my self pity. Thank you very much, that means a lot to me.

Melanie,

First I'd like to say 'sorry' that you are feeling this way. I did some research prior to plication surgery because I remember having kind of a blah feeling a couple months after my Lapband surgery in 2001. I had such high hopes and put in so much energy into researching surgery, weight loss and keeping track of everything that I don't think I really thought about the psychological aspects. I also have been reading up on what our bodies go through when we start losing weight and I think we release hormones and chemicals when losing weight. I read this article and I thought it was interesting and might be helpful for you.

I hope you feel better soon. You are doing great and you are probably just in a tough spot right now. Keeping doing what you are doing as it seems to be working great!!

Take care of you,

Prior to obesity surgery many of us consumed copious amounts of processed carbohydrates including sugar, refined flour, starches and grains. In the body carbohydrates meet up with the amino acid tryptophan and make serotonin, the "feel-good" hormone that stimulates the brain as a comforting mood enhancer. macaroni & cheese is an American favorite comfort food, and for good reason. It combines enough tryptophan with enough high-carb Pasta to produce sufficient serotonin, which relieves symptoms of depression and boosts feelings of contentment.

Enter weight loss surgery and the Protein first, limited fat,and low carbohydrate diet. Suddenly the biological process of serotonin conversion is out of order. We no longer have the means to self-medicate our mood with foods that boost serotonin levels, yet we continue to have the cravings because our body is crying for help. It does not know any other way to manage mood. It just makes sense that this extreme dietary change results in an altered mood and in some cases, a state of biological panic or emotional depression

[oliviam 3]

Melanie,

Wanted to first start off by saying that you are NOT a fat cow and you are worth everything good the world has to offer. If you EVER need to be reminded of that, make a pit stop on these boards. Us WLS patients have spent what feels like a lifetime hating ourselves and having others be hard on us for being overweight too. It is time that we band together and shout from the rooftops that overweight or not, we are children of God and are worthy even if we never lost a single pound. That being said, I know that the desire to loose weight is intense and I too have to struggle to find self worth without that skinny body I desire. On another note, my husband recommends taking an amino acid supplement to help with mood. He feels that the aminos can create a similar affect to the carb intake but without the carbs. It has helped me quite a bit!

[melanieleigh 1]

I love the information you pass along. Thank you, I will try that. I am feeling much better. I think hormones do play a big role in all of this.

Melanie,

Wanted to first start off by saying that you are NOT a fat cow and you are worth everything good the world has to offer. If you EVER need to be reminded of that, make a pit stop on these boards. Us WLS patients have spent what feels like a lifetime hating ourselves and having others be hard on us for being overweight too. It is time that we band together and shout from the rooftops that overweight or not, we are children of God and are worthy even if we never lost a single pound. That being said, I know that the desire to loose weight is intense and I too have to struggle to find self worth without that skinny body I desire. On another note, my husband recommends taking an amino acid supplement to help with mood. He feels that the aminos can create a similar affect to the carb intake but without the carbs. It has helped me quite a bit!

[oliviam 3]

I love the information you pass along. Thank you, I will try that. I am feeling much better. I think hormones do play a big role in all of this.

Oh and he said to make sure it was a free form amino acid. They release serotonin from the brain.