How do you deal with negativity????

italianmama41 · March 17, 2011

I've been very forthcoming regarding my decision to have the sleeve surgery and I've had a tremendous amount of support from my family, friends, and coworkers with 1 or 2 exceptions. In the last few days 2 of my coworkers commented about how good I look because I've lost 25 lbs. (preop - I'm scheduled to be sleeved on 3/29) and they don't understand why I can't just "keep doing what you're doing" with dieting and "why would you alter your body like that when you know you can lose weight". Needless to say -- I was depressed after hearing all this. I've consistently lost weight (and gained it back over the years). I guess what I'm asking is -- what is a good "come back" for this negativity?

Margaret · March 17, 2011

Let's see all the ones I've tried:

I didn't decide to do this instantly----it's been a couple of years in the works

I know it's what is best for ME.

I'm working with a great group of doctors and nutritionists and have lots of counseling on the matter.

I'm not getting younger.

I want off of BP medicine.

This is simply a helpful TOOL and the rest will be up to me.

I'm fortunate to have a wonderful team helping me at this weightloss center.

Do any of those help? I've used them all---over and over and over!

I've been very forthcoming regarding my decision to have the sleeve surgery and I've had a tremendous amount of support from my family, friends, and coworkers with 1 or 2 exceptions. In the last few days 2 of my coworkers commented about how good I look because I've lost 25 lbs. (preop - I'm scheduled to be sleeved on 3/29) and they don't understand why I can't just "keep doing what you're doing" with dieting and "why would you alter your body like that when you know you can lose weight". Needless to say -- I was depressed after hearing all this. I've consistently lost weight (and gained it back over the years). I guess what I'm asking is -- what is a good "come back" for this negativity?

kellyw74 · March 17, 2011

My reason for having the surgery is quite simple. I can lose weight on my own and have several times. However, I always gain it back and then some. Last time, I lost 112 lbs and gained 130.

If i were successful at keeping it off myself, I would. However, I can not do that. This is going to give me that edge that I did not have in the past.

That is my biggest reason and I now have become a diabetic and that scares the s%it outta me.

Hope that helps!

Life Spice · March 17, 2011

People are just that "PEOPLE". They will never understand our reasonsfor choosing this option. Some of them may, but because of fear, negativity, or jealousy that they didn't think to make the change first, they allow what I call "hateration" to step in. I began my journey 2 years ag and I finally have a date (May 5)! I am so happy and I refuse to allow them to steal my joy. When I got my date Monday, the first thing I thought about were "People'. What will they say when I come back to work? Should I even tell anyone in my famly (because I opt out of sharing my personal business with friends and co workers)? I told my husband that I was not going to tell anyone...not even my family or my kids. I had even planned that I would say I was having gall bladder surgery and had even began my own little rumer around the office. LOL .....I began to think about it and the more I thought about it, I decided that I would tell my immediate family, which I did with emphasis that I did not wnat anyone else to know. I think we put to much into what people think. And that has alot to do with self esteem issues. My reasons for choosing the sleeve are: I want to be able to enjoy my children more, I am tired of being tired.... tired of my back, knees and stomach hurting, tired of coming home and sitting on the couch for 2 hours before I get the wind to climb the stairs to go to my bedroom. I want to get off the BP meds...The diabetic meds and I hate sticking myself! For once I would like to love me. We can never expect others to except what we are choosing or understand our rationale for doing so. So I say, forget them! Its all about ME! and only I know what is best for me! Once you accept that in your head, you won't even care what they say, I know I don't. I know that I can not wait until May gets here because if they think they are hating now! WHEW! just wait and see!

fatBgone · March 18, 2011

Let's see all the ones I've tried:

I didn't decide to do this instantly----it's been a couple of years in the works

I know it's what is best for ME.

I'm working with a great group of doctors and nutritionists and have lots of counseling on the matter.

I'm not getting younger.

I want off of BP medicine.

This is simply a helpful TOOL and the rest will be up to me.

I'm fortunate to have a wonderful team helping me at this weightloss center.

Do any of those help? I've used them all---over and over and over!

Margaret, those are wonderful!!!! I'm memorizing them now for when I'm asked!!!!