Unbanded Spouse

[Altoonasoup 0]

I have seen a post (by Dawg aka Mr. P'nut) that says he is unbanded - piggybacking on his wife's band. If I understand right he means that because she eats less that he is also losing weight. I'd like to know if this has happened to others with an unbanded spouse. My hubby is overweight, but not to the point of being a candidate for a lap-band. But since I realize that I will always be on a diet, we are hopeful that it will help him, too. So tell me, are your unbanded family members losing weight, too?

[Jachut 487]

Well Dawg's lost enough weigh that it's not just an "accident" - its obvious he's put in quite a bit of effort and isnt just losing simply because of Pnut's efforts.

But I get what you mean, and yes, my husband has dropped about 12kg himself since I was banded. He's tried hard, but its been easier becuase of the great improvement in the standard of food that's been in the house. Also we both tended to pull the other down, when one of us got the munchies, we'd encourage the other to do it. Now Doug still gets the munchies, but I NEVER come home with a block of chocolate or some other treat anymore, so there's only half as many times that he'll have a little pig out.

But I think more of it is competitive. He doesnt want to be a fat 40 year old CFO with a glammo wife, lol. People will think I've chosen him as my sugar daddy,tee hee.

[Yoda 0]

Yup....my spouse has been eating healthier along with me as well as exercising more. He is overweight but not really obese or anything. He has lost 21 lbs since my surgery...I'm so proud of him! He can stand to lose about another 40. Slow but sure....slow but sure.

[diva 0]

My husband is fat. He was big young guy with muscles now he's big old(er) LOL! guy with fat. Although his BMI is not as high as mine since he is 6'2" and I'm 5'2", he has more co-morbities. Like high blood pressure and diabetes. I have apnea and high cholesterol which came down super low with lipitor.

He's had some bad experiences in the last 6 years with surgeries. A gall bladder that they had to do open surgery and a surprise thyroid problem. It took a real long painful time to get over the gall bladder. He also has had a real problem with anesthesia (sp?). In other words-he's not that eager to have another surgery quite yet.

However, since I've been dieting to lose the 27 pounds before surgery he is watching his diet too. And has lost weight!

As inspiring as Dawg's piggybacking on his wife's band and succeeding, my husband really needs to get the band.

I'm praying I succeed so he will seriously take it under consideration (he "thinks" about it now).

Two obstacles I see for that to happen: my program requires a 6 week group, there is no way he could get into Boston in time (even for the latest group) from where he works. I was able to hop on a train.

and the surgeons will probably try to talk him into gastric bypass since he has more co-morbities. He absolutely is against the bypass.

So...I'll just try my hardest to lose my weight and be positive.

The funny thing is-he is loved by women, they think he is such a "teddy bear". He is funny, sweet and good natured. He has fun with it but he completely adores me and is super supportive.

I, on the other hand, am a fat woman with no cuddly adjectives attached. Society allows him to walk through life without as much discrimination.

This doesn't help push him into the surgery. But as I shrink and get healthier it should help. He will be losing an eating buddy but his sex life will only get better!

Everyone keep their fingers crossed that I do ok and he is both inspired and challenged by my success. Because otherwise-I will lose him too soon.

[Time to love me 0]

Diva, If your husband is looking for another hospital closer to you, have him try Lahey (as we talked about). They don't require a 6 week program. You go one day for your Psch. testing, your physical,meet the nutritionist and meeting about the band. It's a one day program. From 9 - 4. Then you have to go to two support groups.. Then you'll be on your way to be banded, with approval of course.

I'm trying to talk my husband into this as well. I think he gained my pregnancy weight and then some. He's gained 60 pounds in two years. I've gained 50 with my pregnancy and bed rest, and I have taking a little off but not enough.

It's so funny to read that those with the band eat less, so their hubby's do too. It just goes to show that we act on others inpulses to eat. If he eats ice cream, you've never thought about it.. but he's eating it.. then I will too. I DO THAT! TOOO FUNNY:heh:

[lisah25 3]

I have seen a post (by Dawg aka Mr. P'nut) that says he is unbanded - piggybacking on his wife's band. If I understand right he means that because she eats less that he is also losing weight. I'd like to know if this has happened to others with an unbanded spouse. My hubby is overweight, but not to the point of being a candidate for a lap-band. But since I realize that I will always be on a diet, we are hopeful that it will help him, too. So tell me, are your unbanded family members losing weight, too?

Nope, I've gained some since DH was banded, one reason I'm getting my own. One reason is that I tend to eat my meal, then some of his because he doesn't eat it all. I also think he's living vicariously(sp) through me in some ways. He can't eat some things, so I do. Yeah, it's an odd dynamic!

[Altoonasoup 0]

I thought it would work more like this: I eat part of his meal because I won't be able to eat a full meal. That way I get 1/4 of a meal, and He gets 3/4 which cuts his portions also. I never thought about him eating 1 1/2 meals. I guess we'll have to be careful about that.

[lisah25 3]

We have split meals before, and when we do that works OK. He'll eat about 1/2, I'll eat about 1/2, but I'm still hungry sometimes. That, and we like different things.

Of course, we've known for most of our marriage that we are pretty much enablers when it comes to eating wrong!

[Alexandra 55]

Nope, my DH hasn't lost any weight since I've been banded. He actually has more opportunity to eat MORE since I've been eating less, so he has to take care not to gain weight.

[Altoonasoup 0]

I'm gonna have to learn to cook less. I tend to cook for four (but it's just us two.) And it seems like we always clean it all up. I know what you mean about enabling. I know that we influence each other, bad or good. That's why I think he will lose after my banding. I'll let you know!

I wonder if anybody out there has kids who are eating better? My son is not at home anymore, but I sure wish I had taught him better eating habits.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

I have heard that both cases occur. Pnut's man, Dawg, on the other hand is not a passive loser. *gigglesnorts* He is an aggresive loser. He has been working really hard on it. I think the most AMAZING thing about their weight loss was that for the first 60 pounds I think they were losing the same amount, pound for pound, every week. It was truly amazing. They ate the same, cut out the same stuff, didn't workout but they lost an amazing amount of weight together and lost it at exactly the same rate. Dawg I think has slowed down now that he is approaching his goal, and pnut has continued on her weight loss tear.

[Time to love me 0]

I wonder if anybody out there has kids who are eating better? My son is not at home anymore, but I sure wish I had taught him better eating habits.

Funny that you say that!! I was just talking to my Dr. about how my 12 yr. old now eats Protein first, then veggies and then fruit. She kills me. I'm not banded yet, but i started changing my ways of eating so that it won't be so hard when I "HAVE" to change. I also started eating on a dessert plate to help me with my Portion Control. My daughter did do this and I told her she didn't need to do this, but in reality the Pediatrician said it's not a bad idea. It will teach her what a real serving size looks like. It's amazing how your children really do follow the same patterns as you do.

[juliek 0]

Not my husband, but my daughter has definetly benefited. My hubby has a normal weight so he doesn't need to lose. My baby girl, on the other had has inherited her mommy's body. She is eating healthier and moving more now that I have been banded. In a discussion with her ped, he said at her age (she is 9) the goal is NOT to lose weight but to maintain your current weight until your height catches up. At her last checkup she not only maintained her weight for over a year, but did lose 2 lbs. We weren't trying to have her lose, it just worked out that way.

It is a tightrope I walk with her. I surely DO NOT want her to suffer the way I did, but I don't want her to be worried about her weight, either. I remember my mom harking on me all the time and I don't want to do that. So what we are doing seems to be working. Healthy Snacks, no sugar drinks, moving more.

[HeatherGurl 0]

My DH lost weight at first, but has gained it all back. I feel just horrible for him. He eats his meal and my leftovers. I seriously am going to just start eating off of his plate. That will help us both and save moola!

[Jammin & Losin 1]

Man What are you talking about ... My husband is eating my left overs and gaining weight!! Not alot but hes getting a buge and the other day he told me to stop LETTING him eat my left overs... like I can stop him!!! Heck I couldn't stop myself from eating... THATS WHY I GOT BANDED REMEMBER.... is our conversation!!

Dawg has done great with losing weight on his own!!! What dedication hes got!!