Unrealistic Expectations

[ILKrista 36]

I was sleeved 3 weeks ago, and I told everyone that I was doing it. My family, friends, coworkers, landlord, etc. I figured it would be best to just get it out there and then I wouldn't have to explain to people why I was losing weight, eating weird, etc. If people asked, I told them. However, I'm kind of starting to regret it. My landlord called to check up on me a couple days ago and said, "So, I bet you look really different by now. You've probably lost a ton of weight already." I told him, that no, since it had only been two and half weeks since surgery, you really couldn't notice a difference yet. I've also noticed people at work trying to check me out on the sly. Someone else said that it would be great that I could wear a bikini this summer. Seriously... do they think I swallowed a magic bean or something? How can people seriously think you are going to look dramatically different after only 2 and a half weeks? Or, for that matter that I'm going to lose the 140 pound I need to by this summer. I'm starting to think I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm also starting to think that most people really are idiots. Maybe I'm just crabby.

Krista

[Day Dreamer 23]

Seriously... do they think I swallowed a magic bean or something?

Krista,

I just burst out laughing about the magical bean. So you mean you won't have lost 100 lbs by next week??? For me, I am not telling anyone at work! No one, nada! Why? Because they are so judgmental. And well, some women are very catty and mean. They will make remarks about how it was a "cop out" or such. I am just not into telling them. As well, there are certain family members that I will not tell; including my hubby's family! No need for them to know. (IMO)

Keep up the good work!!!

[Margaret 4]

I think your sense of humor will save your life. I'm going through the nay sayer thing some before my surgery. I think honesty is certainly the best, and getting it out there up front SHOULD be better. I'm bothered by a close friend who isn't on board with my decision yet claims to be supportive and thinks that is being silent about it. It causes great anxiety. Look at the clueless just like you always did. They'll realize you did it for yourself in time, and those who were/are judgmental will see how fine you look in a few weeks or months. I wish I had a MAGIC BEAN right this minute!!!! I'm waiting on insurance approval and a date and literally have the phone by my side I'm so hoping it will ring! I don't plan to tell anyone how much I've lost. I'm just going to be me and in a few months, I hope old me! I don't know how old you are, but I'm pretty sure a lot of people are their own worst enemies. Sounds nicer than idiots! It took me years to realize this.

I was sleeved 3 weeks ago, and I told everyone that I was doing it. My family, friends, coworkers, landlord, etc. I figured it would be best to just get it out there and then I wouldn't have to explain to people why I was losing weight, eating weird, etc. If people asked, I told them. However, I'm kind of starting to regret it. My landlord called to check up on me a couple days ago and said, "So, I bet you look really different by now. You've probably lost a ton of weight already." I told him, that no, since it had only been two and half weeks since surgery, you really couldn't notice a difference yet. I've also noticed people at work trying to check me out on the sly. Someone else said that it would be great that I could wear a bikini this summer. Seriously... do they think I swallowed a magic bean or something? How can people seriously think you are going to look dramatically different after only 2 and a half weeks? Or, for that matter that I'm going to lose the 140 pound I need to by this summer. I'm starting to think I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm also starting to think that most people really are idiots. Maybe I'm just crabby.

Krista

[samnyc 5]

"most people really are idiots"

This is true of course

[thinoneday 445]

I was sleeved 3 weeks ago, and I told everyone that I was doing it. My family, friends, coworkers, landlord, etc. I figured it would be best to just get it out there and then I wouldn't have to explain to people why I was losing weight, eating weird, etc. If people asked, I told them. However, I'm kind of starting to regret it. My landlord called to check up on me a couple days ago and said, "So, I bet you look really different by now. You've probably lost a ton of weight already." I told him, that no, since it had only been two and half weeks since surgery, you really couldn't notice a difference yet. I've also noticed people at work trying to check me out on the sly. Someone else said that it would be great that I could wear a bikini this summer. Seriously... do they think I swallowed a magic bean or something? How can people seriously think you are going to look dramatically different after only 2 and a half weeks? Or, for that matter that I'm going to lose the 140 pound I need to by this summer. I'm starting to think I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm also starting to think that most people really are idiots. Maybe I'm just crabby.

Krista

Nah, don't worry about it. . .i did the same thing and the day I got back to work, this one gal came up to me and said "oh i thought you'd be skinny by now" I was out of surgery 2 weeks. . .go figure. . . she said her sister had the surgery done too. . . I asked her if her sister lost all her weight the day after surgery. . . she said no it took her a while, then i asked why she thinks i would be any different? That shut her up for a bit. . . i'm glad i told people cause now after 15 months people just leave me alone and it's like nothing ever happened. . . And you betcha, people really are idiots especially when they are inwardly jealous or just plain stupid.

[KinkySlinky 3]

I appreciate your post!!! It completely solidifies what I had decided...

I am just beginning this whole process.. As in, my first consultation is on Thursday lol. I had already decided that I am not going to talk to anyone about it if/when I have the surgery... If they ask, my response will be "portion control and exercise"... I wouldn't be lying then! lol I personally think dealing with any medical condition is a personal issue, and I honestly have no interest in sharing my health status with anyone else.. probably stems from my medical background with all of the privacy laws, I'm not sure.. I don't understand what makes people think that everything happens within a few weeks and that it will be so easy? Some people are just not that bright lol

Good luck on your weight loss!!

[Chicadee 10]

I am being very picky with who I tell. My immediate family knows and one co-worker. I told my boss I needed to take two weeks off in April that I would be having a procedure done and let her know I am telling the rest of the staff I am going on vacation. So she approved my time off and said "vacation it is".

I may open up a bit more after awhile. I like to keep things to myself and this place is gossip heaven and I know people will be talking about me. I am usually a very "out of the spolight" kind of person. I have over 200 lbs to lose so people will start noticing but I am hoping that the eating better and going to the gym reason will be enough to satisfy.

[Luanne 32]

I figured that I thought I'd tell those closest to me and thought it would go no further as it would be MY business to share. Several did not respect the confidence whatsoever. I was sitting at dinner with about 15 friends, talking about the HGT diet that one friend was on and he blurted out, "Ya but Lu had weightloss surgery!" I just quietly said, "And my decision to share..."

This would be the Perfect Idiot: AFTER I had it done, a friend kept saying she just wasn't good with it and so negative about the what-ifs (stomach cancer,etc.) and what could go wrong that I had to flat tell her, "It's too late now! Either support me or get over it. It's done."

I've been out to dinner many times and order small or what I want and then get a go-box. I might mention I ate a big lunch or nothing as it is none of their business.

[bilka 6]

People are just funny sometimes... Or maybe they just watch too much TV.

You should have laughed and told him that... you did not swallow a magic bean!

That's why I didn't tell anyone (except for like 5 people), they all think I am on a diet now, which I am anyway, so whatever...

[KatieBug 0]

I think that you are doing great...losing 35 lbs in 2 and a half weeks is a great start...keep your head up!!

[cwalker 12]

I was sleeved 3 weeks ago, and I told everyone that I was doing it. My family, friends, coworkers, landlord, etc. I figured it would be best to just get it out there and then I wouldn't have to explain to people why I was losing weight, eating weird, etc. If people asked, I told them. However, I'm kind of starting to regret it. My landlord called to check up on me a couple days ago and said, "So, I bet you look really different by now. You've probably lost a ton of weight already." I told him, that no, since it had only been two and half weeks since surgery, you really couldn't notice a difference yet. I've also noticed people at work trying to check me out on the sly. Someone else said that it would be great that I could wear a bikini this summer. Seriously... do they think I swallowed a magic bean or something? How can people seriously think you are going to look dramatically different after only 2 and a half weeks? Or, for that matter that I'm going to lose the 140 pound I need to by this summer. I'm starting to think I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm also starting to think that most people really are idiots. Maybe I'm just crabby.

Krista

I also put my surgery out there for anyone to know, now imagine living in a small town with 2000 population so it spread pretty fast. I don't mind and have formed bonds with 4 more ladies having the surgery in our small town, BUT I did feel pressure from a "friend" to start posting pics on FB after 3 weeks and I wasnt ready to share. I have another who wants the numbers so she can tell me what she weighs and what she's lost w/o surgery.lol it just made me more determined to each goal. Hang in there, don't let em get to you!!!!!!!!!!

[NJMOMof2 17]

Some lady I work with comments about my weight every time she walks by me. although it's all positive, I don't like it at all. I explained to her that although I appreciate her kind words, I am trying to overcome a food addiction. I then asked her if she would mind only commenting once a month! LOL. She was fine with it and this was hard to say but it HAD to be said!

I do feel like Im in a fish bowl, especially when I am eating but everyone kind of figured out I had WLS. I was out for 4 weeks and came back 30 pounds thinner

[bloomin_vjf 1]

I told family and my co-workers in my divison. We'd already had a co-worker go through gastric bypass and I remembered how people whispered about her "sudden" weightloss. I didn't want the speculation. All of my co-workers have been very supportive - and have been cheering on my progress.

My family are more supportive after seeing me for the first time this weekend - they realize that I'm not taking suspicious potions or using "magic Beans." I'm eating normal food in smaller portions. In fact, one cousin looked at me and said, "You're just eating smaller portions aren't you?" Uh, yea... and making smarter choices on what I eat. "Wow," she said, "it's just like being on a regular weight loss program." Exactly.

I'm glad I shared with those close to me. No one has tried to "push" food or tempt me like they've done in the past... they realized that I can't or won't eat more than my stomach can handle. What's really been nice, is that most are willing to share meals since I can't eat that much. A couple of friends actually argued who was going to share their meal since they figure I'm helping them by eating part of their meal.

Good luck on your journey!

[2bslimkim 11]

I was sleeved 3 weeks ago, and I told everyone that I was doing it. My family, friends, coworkers, landlord, etc. I figured it would be best to just get it out there and then I wouldn't have to explain to people why I was losing weight, eating weird, etc. If people asked, I told them. However, I'm kind of starting to regret it. My landlord called to check up on me a couple days ago and said, "So, I bet you look really different by now. You've probably lost a ton of weight already." I told him, that no, since it had only been two and half weeks since surgery, you really couldn't notice a difference yet. I've also noticed people at work trying to check me out on the sly. Someone else said that it would be great that I could wear a bikini this summer. Seriously... do they think I swallowed a magic bean or something? How can people seriously think you are going to look dramatically different after only 2 and a half weeks? Or, for that matter that I'm going to lose the 140 pound I need to by this summer. I'm starting to think I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm also starting to think that most people really are idiots. Maybe I'm just crabby.

Krista

We can thank "Biggest Loser" for all that.... where people lose 10,15,20 lbs in one week and have their weight lose fast forwarded on National TV.

Well, this is reality...

I think we have the same surgery date (Feb. 28) anyway, I did tell my employees just because they are all very nosy and interested in my weight since they have watched me gain from 125 to 215 over the last 17 yrs, lose it, gain it, lose it, gain it, lose it, gain it.... etc etc etc.

What i've noticed now is all the other woman in the office are all on their own new diets since my surgery date and they want to compare our weight loss every Monday morning (as if its a race of some sort). I lost 7 lbs pre-op, 6.5 the week of surgery but only 3 lbs the second week. They felt sorry for me for only losing such a small amount after having gone thru surgery and all...

I'm like WHAT.... i've lost 16.5 in 3 weeks guys. CHILL

[aaa 3]

You mean you haven't got your magical Beans on back order? Jeez. I took mine weeks ago!

I know how you feel. People are ridiculous, but as long as you keep remembering that, that'll keep you sane. You have a great sense of humour and outlook on it from what I can see. As long as you don't start judging yourself by other people's crazy expectations!

The funny thing is, I wasn't going to tell anyone I work with. But when my original surgery date came up last year, I found myself wanting to be open about it to colleagues. I work with a lot of people who are 30 to 40 years older than me and I expected their reactions to be pretty old fashioned. In fact, they were surprisingly really supportive about it and it's shocking how many people knows somebody who's had a procedure done already. They are still completely clueless about it though. The other day one of them was like, 'How much have you lost, like 45lb?' and I had to laugh inside because I've lost double that but people seem to totally forget just how big you were once