Unrealistic Expectations

[samantha209 19]

i have told about 3 or 4 coworkers....not that I am hiding it but because its MY BUSINESS. People will figure it out anyway....ppl have already started asking if I have lost weight....because I have lost about 30 lbs pre-op

one thing i didnt like was Friday i was on the elevator at work, and i stopped at the Surgery floor and one of the nurses asked me where i was going. Then later that afternoon she proceeded to ask another co-worker why i was stopping off at surgery. so NOSY

[****** 12]

I was sleeved 3 weeks ago, and I told everyone that I was doing it. My family, friends, coworkers, landlord, etc. I figured it would be best to just get it out there and then I wouldn't have to explain to people why I was losing weight, eating weird, etc. If people asked, I told them. However, I'm kind of starting to regret it. My landlord called to check up on me a couple days ago and said, "So, I bet you look really different by now. You've probably lost a ton of weight already." I told him, that no, since it had only been two and half weeks since surgery, you really couldn't notice a difference yet. I've also noticed people at work trying to check me out on the sly. Someone else said that it would be great that I could wear a bikini this summer. Seriously... do they think I swallowed a magic bean or something? How can people seriously think you are going to look dramatically different after only 2 and a half weeks? Or, for that matter that I'm going to lose the 140 pound I need to by this summer. I'm starting to think I should have just kept my mouth shut. I'm also starting to think that most people really are idiots. Maybe I'm just crabby.

Krista

Krista, you may or may not be crabby, but you're spot on in that most people are idiots. This reminded me of the line from Men in Black where K says "A person is smart, people are stupid". I am pretty adamant about not sharing this info -- it's all on a "need to know" basis and most people don't need to know. If you ever do find that magic bean you could make zillions

[New & Improved Mel 1]

I told my immediate family and my two closest friends.. well already one of those friends is being a bit quieter with me and pointing out other people's failures with this surgery, both started dieting themselves as soon as I told them of my decision, and the other scheduled a visit that felt more like a progress check-up mixed with a spanish inquisition...

It is as if all these years they have been comfortable in our 'social statuses' of me being the fat one, them being the thinner ones, and now they are panicking... what is wrong with me losing weight, isn't it fair since I have had to stuggle with being obese all these years?? Can't they simply be happy for me without thinking my weight loss is going to impact on them in any way? It makes me think that perhaps its not a coincidence that they have had a fat friend all these years, perhaps they needed a fat friend to make themselves feel better about themselves.

Well my darlings the tables are about to turn!!!

Its funny one of them had a small mole removed from the side her nose 12mths back and nobody would judge her for doing so, whereas I have struggled with obesity for 20+ yrs and now I have decided to get some help, and nobody has the right to judge me for that either!!!

Their reactions alone have made me glad that I decided not to tell anybody else, I have certain members of my extended family that are very opinionated and I only truely care about and have the energy to explain the intricate details of my personal life with the closest people in my life.

[ldydrgnkpr 49]

I told my immediate co-workers. In my office only. (and family of course) The one thing I had to put the breaks on was the "how much did you lose today?" Every day the same thing. So I announced to all of them that I only weigh myself every ten days. They will eventually quit asking me. They are supportive, and I understand that I'm the first one that they know that has went through this. So yes they are very curious. They ask me a lot of questions which is fine with me. I answer what I can, what I can't I tell them to google it. LOL..... So my first week back to work was pretty good.

Deb

[ranchersdaughter 9]

ILKrista,

Be proud!

I know exactly how you felt when you expressed your elation and hopes to everyone about your surgery! You were EXCITED and you have EVERY right to be! This is not like picking out a pair of socks! This is a life changing decision, and one that you make entirely for your own health benefits. It's NORMAL to want to shout it from the roof tops!

I have told anyone who's shown an interest...mainly folks who want to know why I won't be at work for a few weeks. Surprisingly almost all of my feedback has been positive and supportive!

Except from my "59 yr old 125 lbs HER WHOLE LIFE AND THROUGH 4 PREGNANCIES so there's no way she would ever understand"", mother. There's always an exception....Oh well, huh?

Krista, no regrets! This is for YOU, this is for your health! This is so you can add to the years that you're around to enjoy your life and the lives of your family and friends!

Those who are not supportive of you and your decision are, in reality, the ones who are lost.

I wish you the VERY best on your journey! I start mine on April 11th........

[Amanda131 214]

I started out keeping my surgery on a need-to-know basis but I work in a high school and the staff is similar in their gossip skills to the teenagers we teach. I was okay with this. I kind of expected it. And, I was going to be honest when the weight started dropping anyway- I will not pull a Star Jones!

95% of the comments and conversations regarding my surgery are okay but there's always one. A woman at work who is OBSESSED with weight loss and dieting was asking about my progress. I actually didn't tell her about the surgery (and wouldn't have) but, like all juicy tidbits, she found out. I told her the amount of weight I'd lost when she asked and her response? "Well, you're getting closer to beautiful everyday!"

Really? I didn't realize beauty was dependent on size. It totally irked me. But, I had to reach for my bucket of compassion and realize how sad her life is that she thinks the perfect size equals beauty (she is overweight).

I appreciate having this board to commiserate with- if you haven't been through this then there is just no was to understand it!