Why is my sister so non-supportive

[jerri 1]

I need help from someone on what to say to my sister. I have chosen a five-star surgeon (Healthgrades), and a five-star hospital in Scottsdale, Az. I have done ALL the research. I have yo-yo dieted for all of my adult life (I was not a fat kid). My sister lives 1,700 miles away from me and she has not lived and seen the yo-yoing. Additionally, she is so much older than me that when she left home, I was still a skinny kid. However, she has seen me at my biggest and at my smallest so I'm sure she is aware that I go up and down, "like a yo-yo". She is so non-supportive about my choice. All of her e-mailsare begging me not to do this. I've pointed out to her my co-morbities and what it would mean if I do not have the surgery, but she just thinks I can go on another diet. I love my sister and I cannot stand that she can't see how important this is. What to do?

[thinbefore40 0]

my sister was not on board with my decsion either in fact when it came down to it i didnt even tell her my exact surgery day until a fwe days before. i didnt want to hear the judgement. i believe this is why is see alot of plp keep their surgerys quiet for thesame reason...not to feel judjes even by our sisters sorry your going thru this but i know this is the best decsion i have made i am three weeks out and down 20 pounds more,,,love my sleeve

I need help from someone on what to say to my sister. I have chosen a five-star surgeon (Healthgrades), and a five-star hospital in Scottsdale, Az. I have done ALL the research. I have yo-yo dieted for all of my adult life (I was not a fat kid). My sister lives 1,700 miles away from me and she has not lived and seen the yo-yoing. Additionally, she is so much older than me that when she left home, I was still a skinny kid. However, she has seen me at my biggest and at my smallest so I'm sure she is aware that I go up and down, "like a yo-yo". She is so non-supportive about my choice. All of her e-mailsare begging me not to do this. I've pointed out to her my co-morbities and what it would mean if I do not have the surgery, but she just thinks I can go on another diet. I love my sister and I cannot stand that she can't see how important this is. What to do?

[brazcan 37]

I had similar issues with my husband. We even had a major fight and he refused to provide any support. Now, 3 weeks later, he is so pleased and supportive. he sees the difference in my mood, face, body and keeps saying it was a good decision. He is always checking on how I am doing, if I am drinking enough Water and so. It seems the idea of WLS is still hard for many people, particularly the ones who have never strugled with the frustrations of weight regain. Just do it. You know you want and need it. She will come to terms later.

[Felicity2u 35]

As having only one older sister myself, I know how important the relationship is with a sister. I believe instead of emails, you need to call her on the phone and ask her what her issues are with you having the surgery. If you are like me, whenever anyone asks me why I'm having the surgery, I break down and cry because of all the emotions I have about doing this. I believe if you sit and talk with her as adults, she will understand this better. Ask her if she knows everything about the surgery. Give her all the knowledge she needs and explain to her that this is not a miracle surgery that you are having because you just doin't want to diet again but rather this surgery is just a tool to help you lose and to help you maintain your health in the future. I, myself have finally admitted to my family that I am a food addict. It may sound silly but it's true. When they heard me admit to this, they realized that the situation was more serious than expected and I explained that this tool will help me control that addiction. It is not an easy out, it is anything but that. I believe if you are just straightfoward with her and explain it this way, then she will understand better. I hope this helps, I know how important a sister is. If she still does not understand, go ahead with the surgery and she will soon realize how wonderful this surgery was for you and see why you went ahead with it! Please message me if you ever need to talk and good luck on your journey!

[jerri 1]

Wow - it must have been really difficult to have a spouse not being supportive. I'm glad to hear that now you surgery is over he has come around. I'm sure this will happen with my sister as well. I AM having the surgery; In just 1 week actually. My sister will not stop me. It is just hurtful that she doesn't get it. I know that I should call her instead of e-mailing but I don't want to sound angry to her and I AM angry that she is so negative about it all. I just wished I had not told her about the surgery, but I never thought she would take this attitude. However, she does tend to be a "negative nellie" and I'm very afraid to call her and actually hear, with my ears, the negativity about my choice. Thank you for posting your experiences. It is so helpful.