How to avoid the topic to new people?

[buchannon 17]

I've been dating a guy for the last couple weeks and we have gone out to eat a couple times. So far I've pulled off the "I'm just not that hungry" stuff pretty well but the other day I had about 1/5th of my meal and was done. He almost seemed offended or something and assumed I didn't like the food/drink there.

I've been really open about my sleeve thus far, but I'd like to get to the point where I don't have to tell everyone new I meet that I had weight loss surgery. Is this even possible? How do you guys handle this??

[Rev Me Up! 75]

This is a tough one - when I first got my band, I didn't eat much but no one called me out on it. It really bothers me that someone would do that. Saying you aren't hungry or saying that you are on a strict diet per doctors instructions were my go-to excuses. Sometimes I would say I had a stomach ache. It is no one's business!!!!!

I will most likely use the same excuses after my sleeve. I will probably not eat out for a long time.

I was dating my boyfriend for 4 or 5 months before I told him I had the band. I had to make sure he was there for the long haul and wouldn't judge me.

Good luck--

Lara

I've been dating a guy for the last couple weeks and we have gone out to eat a couple times. So far I've pulled off the "I'm just not that hungry" stuff pretty well but the other day I had about 1/5th of my meal and was done. He almost seemed offended or something and assumed I didn't like the food/drink there.

I've been really open about my sleeve thus far, but I'd like to get to the point where I don't have to tell everyone new I meet that I had weight loss surgery. Is this even possible? How do you guys handle this??

[renniemommie 8]

You might want to consider to tell the truth, since i am betting you are not terribly slim yet, and would be assumed to be eating a decent amount. You could also tell a downplayed version of the truth, maybe some kind of vague "recent abdominal surgery with hernia repair", so your diet is restricted for awhile..then if you guys last, tell the truth. Thing is, if you last, what will the impact of the current lie be? As it stands, he might think you are shy or trying to put on a false front, or sick, or he might even think it is his company.

[renniemommie 8]

I will clarify, that as of now I haven't had surgery, waiting on approval before my hubby loses the job (hopefully HR doesn't let insurance know they are about to lose him..otherwise I am out of luck!~..).

Anyway, I will tell them all. I DARE anyone to judge me! I was mentioning my surgery to a buddy to find out that he has a failed band (that is why he gained all that weight back!!) and he is saving for a sleeve. I think I can help people, I hope to be successful and will share my info. I don't care who knows! If they ask, I will tell, matter of fact without room for judgment. Basically, I am 40 and been obese for awhile and I have seen the writing on the wall, so with this surgery and changed eating habits I hope to stay healthy forever. Period.

My issue is trying not to tell people right now. My social group at Renaissance Festivals are very supportive-it is getting them to shut their happy mouths that is the trick! I am working a weekends only job as a bar manager at this festival that has to have me until April 7th!! I can't postpone surgery, I am already wayy under the wire. I have a sub for that one weekend, who is already employed by them. To avoid any weird drama, I am telling them Gallbladder with hernia that is urgent and can't wait, then they will be more understanding (they would likely be Ok anyway, but this makes it easier). Then, later when they see me thin (fingers crossed), I'll tell them that happened after the fair! And it won't matter at that point, since time will have passed.

I hope this helps!

[myrori 55]

I would be just be open, if they run then they are not for you. The simple fact is being overweight will always be a part of who we were and if a guy does not like it or accept then they can take a long walk off the short pier.

[Paul11011 372]

And the truth shall set you free. Do you really want to start out a relationship with deception? Tell the truth about where you are, where you've been and where you believe you will be going. Any potential partner that is not capable of seeing the benefit in being with someone that is doing something to improve themselves is not going to be who you want to be with anyway. And there you have my two cents.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

I think if you guys have been seeing each other for a few weeks, you can break the news to him. Otherwise he might start thinking you have some mental problems (anorexia or something). And if he doesn't react positively - well, better find out that it's not meant to be now than later when you are really attached to him!

[Redcobra 1]

I've been dating a guy for the last couple weeks and we have gone out to eat a couple times. So far I've pulled off the "I'm just not that hungry" stuff pretty well but the other day I had about 1/5th of my meal and was done. He almost seemed offended or something and assumed I didn't like the food/drink there.

I've been really open about my sleeve thus far, but I'd like to get to the point where I don't have to tell everyone new I meet that I had weight loss surgery. Is this even possible? How do you guys handle this??

I just tell people I had bariatric surgery because of a long term weight problem.And now that I have had the surgery, it's not a problem anymore. I just don't eat alot.

For msyself, I figure if I found a girlfriend who also had bariatric surgery we could be really cheap dates:\

Two apetizers and we're outa there.

ps: Why does dating have to revolve around food? Why not aound say paintball, or hiking Just sayin.

[buchannon 17]

I don't have an issue with telling people, but my main question is, will I always have to? Maybe when I'm slimmer I will be able to pull off eating the amounts I do in front of other people without looking like I'm anorexic or something. Right now though, things do looks suspicious.

ps: Why does dating have to revolve around food? Why not aound say paintball, or hiking Just sayin.

Dating doesn't have to revolve around food at all, but it's bound to come up sooner or later. We hung out for a long time (movies, walking around, etc.) before the "hey I'm hungry, let's go get something to eat" topic came up. Going out to eat is something fun to do on dates as well, and I'm not going to let the sleeve stop me from having fun.

For msyself, I figure if I found a girlfriend who also had bariatric surgery we could be really cheap dates:\ Two apetizers and we're outa there.

rofl!

[MommyTawnie 3]

If you think this guy could be a long term boyfriend then consider telling him what you have gone through and why you don't eat as much. Or maybe order off the kids menu.. I have started doing that and it keeps the stares down when I don't eat more then a quarter of what they bring to me... But then again I'm not afraid to tell anyone that I have had surgery.. It was a life choice that I made and I feel I shouldn't have to keep it from anyone. After all who cares what they say/think My body My life My CHOICE!! As for everyone else only tell them if and when you feel comfortable talking about it. If that never happens then so be it that's your choice to make.. Best of Luck to You!!

[MommyTawnie 3]

For msyself, I figure if I found a girlfriend who also had bariatric surgery we could be really cheap dates:\

Two apetizers and we're outa there.

To funny!! I had my weight loss surgery back in December, and my hubby is going into his 3rd month of supervised dieting for his weight loss surgery hopefully this summer.. We have talked alot about date nights after he is sleeved as well.. We figure we can get off with a very very cheap date after it's all said and done.. I know I took my two children to lunch the other day and only spent $8 we ordered 1 plate and split it between the 3 of us, and still had enough left over to bring home.