3 MONTHS POST OP OPINIONS OPINIONS OPINONS!!!

[YOLANDA240 13]

Hello Everyone!

I love my sleeve! It has been 3 months and I've lost 50lbs WOW it feels so strange to see that number in print. My surgeon is very happy with my weight loss and my pcp is doing back flips no more blood pressure pill, diabetic meds. etc. Now can anyone help me with the opinions of others around me, for example: You've lost your shape? You do not need to get any smaller? You do not need to go to the gym that's why you had surgery? And the list goes on, I've responded to these individuals by saying "If I did this for you your opinion would matter, since this was my life's decision I will follow the goals I've set" And now I've been told by the same friends that I have changed and I have a bad attitude that I think I'm better then they are etc. Now I have to find new friends to hang out with and going shopping by myself is no fun but non of my old friends will go with me.

How did this happen I've supported all of my friends through all of their weight loss journey and now not one can give me support. If it wasn't for this site I would not have anyone to share my ups and downs. Does anyone have suggestions on how to handle the opinions of so called friends? or Am I being overly emotional regarding the whole matter? I even had a friend tell me she'll hang out with me after she loses ten lbs. WTF!

Anyway thanks for letting me vent and if you live in Cleveland or Copley Ohio send me a email alexayo2me@yahoo.com

Take Care

[kgremmy 36]

I am so sorry that you are going thru this. I have not told anyone other than my mom and my husband and my friends that live away about my surgery. That was my choice because I did not want to have to hear them tell me that I did the wrong thing. If your so-called friends can not support you then you do not need that negative influence around you. You are going thur something that they will never experience. In fact, like I told my counslor, it is harder than most people thing. Keep you head up and we lived closer, I would sure take you up on your offer to go shopping!!!!

[buchannon 17]

I've pretty much told everyone I knew about the surgery.

I haven't had too many problems with my fat friends post-op except that they have told me that they feel guilty eating around me now because I can't fit as much in as they do (obviously) anymore. I just respond "I really don't care, eat whatever you want" and things continue as normal.

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

Hello Everyone!

I love my sleeve! It has been 3 months and I've lost 50lbs WOW it feels so strange to see that number in print. My surgeon is very happy with my weight loss and my pcp is doing back flips no more blood pressure pill, diabetic meds. etc. Now can anyone help me with the opinions of others around me, for example: You've lost your shape? You do not need to get any smaller? You do not need to go to the gym that's why you had surgery? And the list goes on, I've responded to these individuals by saying "If I did this for you your opinion would matter, since this was my life's decision I will follow the goals I've set" And now I've been told by the same friends that I have changed and I have a bad attitude that I think I'm better then they are etc. Now I have to find new friends to hang out with and going shopping by myself is no fun but non of my old friends will go with me.

How did this happen I've supported all of my friends through all of their weight loss journey and now not one can give me support. If it wasn't for this site I would not have anyone to share my ups and downs. Does anyone have suggestions on how to handle the opinions of so called friends? or Am I being overly emotional regarding the whole matter? I even had a friend tell me she'll hang out with me after she loses ten lbs. WTF!

Anyway thanks for letting me vent and if you live in Cleveland or Copley Ohio send me a email alexayo2me@yahoo.com

Take Care

Hmmm, it's too bad that you have to deal with these comments - I agree, it's pretty annoying. But I feel that one of the reasons that your friends are claiming you have a "bad attitude now" is maybe because your response to them can come off as pretty prickly. As irritating as these comments might be, if you want to keep these friends (which, of course, you may not! and that's totally understandable), you'd have to entertain their stupid questions and be a bit more patient. For example, this is how I'd respond to these annoying statements:

Annoying friend: "You've lost your shape!"

You: "One of the reasons I had weight loss surgery is because I didn't like my old shape...my new shape fits into an awful lot more cute clothes! Haha! *change of topic*"

Annoying friend: "You don't need to get any smaller!"

You: "This isn't so much about size for me, but more about health. I love how much lighter and more energetic I feel now that I weigh less, and it's so much easier to walk and run without all that extra weight! Did you wanna join me for a 5-hour hike in the mountains this weekend, by the way? *friend will change topic herself to get out of this offer*"

Annoying friend: "You do not need to go to the gym that's why you had surgery!"

You: "Exercise is very important for health and well-being. In fact, it has been shown via research that overweight people who are active tend to be healthier than slim people who are sedentary. Not only is it great for your cardiovascular system, but also your mental function and your moods. Would you like to go for an hour-long run with me this evening?"

Just some ideas. If you respond in such a manner that doesn't antagonize them further and is entirely logical (why wouldn't you exercise when it's so good for you!?), they'll just stop making those comments. And if they don't, then maybe it's time to find some new friends.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Hahaa!! I loved your responses BBJ, so true. In fact that is EXACTLY how I would've answered all those comments. I don't really get to many silly ones like that... especially the "you don't need to exercise" one. That is total crap and completely untrue. I guess that's just because I love it so much and I know it makes me feel so strong and healthy. It's not only about being skinny for me what so ever. It's for my health, and I sure like the way my clothes fit on me now!!

OP, it just sounds like your friends are getting bit by the big green monster. If they are truly your friends they would hang out with you no matter what. Yes, the responses need to be toned down a little more too... But the one who won't hang out with you until she loses 10 more pounds? Well, I'm sure you probably realize REAL friends to not react like that.

[YOLANDA240 13]

Thanks, I never thought in a million years I would hear these type of comments. Green eyed monster I'm sure.

Hahaa!! I loved your responses BBJ, so true. In fact that is EXACTLY how I would've answered all those comments. I don't really get to many silly ones like that... especially the "you don't need to exercise" one. That is total crap and completely untrue. I guess that's just because I love it so much and I know it makes me feel so strong and healthy. It's not only about being skinny for me what so ever. It's for my health, and I sure like the way my clothes fit on me now!!

OP, it just sounds like your friends are getting bit by the big green monster. If they are truly your friends they would hang out with you no matter what. Yes, the responses need to be toned down a little more too... But the one who won't hang out with you until she loses 10 more pounds? Well, I'm sure you probably realize REAL friends to not react like that.

[ohmmm 0]

I am sorry you have to hear this stuff! I have been very lucky and suprised by responses to people around me. All at work that I have told have been so supporting. They stop by and ask me how I am doing. My boss last week asked if I was doing okay and needed to take some more time off, I told him that I wasn't feeling that great that day and had thought about asking to go home a few hours early. He said whatever I need. I find that almost crazy, I thought it was great that he was supportive, but I feel he is going above and beyond in making sure I continue to feel good. I think that that isn't even necessary, he didn't mind me taking the time off, but I am back now and don't expect any special treatment, but I feel so lucky. I have another co worker that texts me over the weekend just to check in. After the surgery initially she brought me four cans of Soup and a PEOPLE magazine, again I feel so lucky. I know at some point I am bound to cross paths with someone not so much supportive and I actually think about this and dread it. I always wonder how I will respond. I am typically pretty nice and passive in nature, and feel like I will feel bad if someone says something. But I know that this is my decision, like you said, for me, and not for them. If people can't be happy, then they probably wouldn't be happy for me if I was going on a big vacation, having a baby, etc. People are jealous sometimes and usually it is because of something going on with them, not with you. I wish you luck and keep your head up, and definetely don't stop going to the gym. I wonder if that was a crack saying that, meaning you are lazy and don't want to go to the gym and that is why you had surgery, I sometimes think people will think that of me and I used to go to the gym all the time. Anyhow, take care and take care of yourself!