To tell or not to tell.... that is the question....

[Floppie 1]

Hi everyone, just wondering, I am going for my surgery on Tuesday, hooray!, but as of yet, only my husband and best friend know about it, I have not even told my closest family, as they live a little way away, I have been able to get away with it, but just wondering what any of you guys have done, have you told? And if you kept it quiet, were you able to keep it quiet as you were magically losing weight??? I woul love to know, thank you all for reading xxxxx Imogen xxxx

[Billy363627 15]

You know the only one I told was my boss and two of my best friends. I wanted the support of my family so I told them..You have to be cautious with who you tell because as i have learned that there is always an opinion with who ever you tell. I got so mad at someone I told because I really didn't want to hear anything other than I understand and thanks for telling me. I just didnt' want to come back from surgery and everyone think I had cancer or was sick..Any way I guess it is really up to you because due note there are always people that have an opinion. I finally told my boss if any one asks where I was to tell them. I told them to tell them when I went out for surgery..

[Floppie 1]

Hi there, thank you for this, I agree with you about everyone having an opinion! I am one week out now, and have only told very close family and friends.

Regards

Imogen

[tryinagain 1]

After the complete failure of my lap band, I chose not to tell about getting the revision to the sleeve. I had enough of people telling me they knew it was bad to get a lap band. Only my husband and daughter know about the band to sleeve revision.

And I don't care what the rest think about my weight loss. Is that bad of me??

[MINI-Me 196]

I told very few people at first. It was very personal to me & I didn't think others needed to know.

But, I found as the weight came off, I wanted to shout it from the roof tops. I told close friends and my boss. Everyone was very supportive since they had seen me continually struggle with my weight & enjoyed sharing in my success.

That being said ... My family who live on the other side of the country, are still struggling with this a bit. They don't see me everyday & just haven't made the connection that this is a permanent way of life for me now (they are all obese as well). Hopefully time will prove it to them & they will consider this as a possible option for them as well.

For co-workers that didn't know me very well, I would just politely smile when they complimented my weight loss. When asked for my "trick", I told them it was the basic formula - small portions and a focus on Protein. That seemed to satisfy and I wasn't lying, just omitting the part about my tool to allow me to eat the small portions and be satisfied.

[renniemommie 8]

I am not a good liar. I feels wrong. Technical lies too. I don't want to tell people I changed my diet and have them tell me how hard it is to do so, when I have a tool that made it possible for me that they don't have. It might make them feel bad that they can't do what I (hopefully) can. I am keeping it a bit mum until afterwards, I don't know why, I just am.

I haven't had surgery yet, I will in the next 2 weeks. My family knows about it, but frankly I am going to wait till after two weeks or so to tell them I did it, they would be so worried. I would be too if I was them.

I am in the middle of a festival weekends only job and this surgery will affect my ability to work it, so I am telling my job that I am having major surgery, weight restrictions, etc-but not telling them what, so they think it is medically ness, which it is, sort of. The job will go on for a month or so, then they won't see me again for months. I'll tell them later if they ask how I lost. Because of the dang job I am being a little on the Down Low. If it wasn't for the job I'd tell all my friends right now! Most my social group is at renaissance festivals (like the one I am in the mist of bar managing till April 5th for). I had to shut a friend up about telling the rest of the group! (She had DS). I WILL eventually tell anyone who asks. I don't care if they know. So far the response has been Yay for me! I told one of my best friends and she told the rest of our group the next time I walked up, she was so happy for me and since we all are Renaissance Women (get it?) they were happy too! I do not have a full-time job right now and don't see one real close either, so I bet when I get one I will be at a lower weight & have less questions. Although, I'll tell anyone who asks. I will tell them what and why: Basically, had surgery since I'd been obese for years and at 40 I saw the writing on the wall, but that I still have to do work to (hopefully) look this good! If they give me any grief, F-em!

Good luck!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

Hi Floppie,

I chose to only tell my family members and any close friends that had a real interest on my life matters, meaning they would sincerely care whether I lived or died. This did not include work associates or random folks that I only talk to when I see them from time to time and give a smile and a Hello. This is still true today. I just don't feel the need to tell everyone, and that is ok.

It's basically up to you, even if your list to maybe tell includes some family and not all. Make a list of positives and negatives should you tell everyone about your WLS. Consider the constant "how much have you lost now?" questions you will get all the time from everyone knowing your situation. It's fun at first but once you hit any long term stalls (if this happens to you) it might wear on you. It's a true and real feeling. I know this from when I was banded and what happened to me.

Let it be your journey, I personally do not concern myself too much with how others view me. That is something that one person or various persons will have to deal with within themselves. I can only be me, and that's all I ever will be! Love me or hate me, take me or leave me.

Good luck!!