pro's / con's to being honest about having surgery

[Dawn 16]

I personally will tell anyone and everyone what I have done. I am not ashamed of my decision nor that fact that I was fat and needed it! I have always been a VERY open and Blunt person about Everything though! Thus far I haven't recieved any negative comments and if/when I do, I'll tell the person to shove it! LOL

[brazcan 37]

I told my husband and asked for his support which he denied. I have made my decision, I am going by myself and I am positive everything is going to be right. After , when I return to work, I will tell those who ask the reason of my weight loss but for now, I do not need anyone reminding me of shootings, infections, fake degrees, fake testimonies or whatever negative and anxiety provoking comments they may have.

[BZButterfly79 19]

People may not agree with me but here's my two cents. It disturbs me to see people that want to keep this a secret. I try to skip over those posts.

I have been very open about having this done. I was embarrassed at first and ashamed that I let myself get this way. I wasn't sure what their reactions were going to be. It really didn't matter, this is for me and no one else. My family was OK with it, but not big on me going to Mexico. They got over it. My co-workers are excited for me and have invited me to work out with them after I have my surgery. My boss is now seriously considering it. His wife had gastric bypass and he didn't want any part of that. So maybe my positive input will help him.

For so long I looked in the mirror and lied to myself, I was so embarrassed and ashamed. I made empty promises to myself, tried every diet, even damaged my heart with phen-fen.

Ask yourself this: Do you think anybody will believe you are just eating healthy and dieting? Really? REALLY? If you say this and it is found out that you really had surgery, then everyone will see you as a liar. I'm an honest person and am not ashamed that I am having this surgery.

If someone doesn't like the surgery I'm having and give me any negativity, I only have one thing for them and that is a big fat WHATEVER!

Be proud of what you are doing for yourself.

I read your post and wanted to ask you, I've had a gallbladder out, and a tubal ligation, technically I am no longer able to get pregnant do I have to go around telling people about that? A surgery to me is a surgery I treat them equal, some riskier than others but to me not telling has NOTHING to do with shame it has to do with respect for myself, I am entitled to have something belong to me, another thing I will say to you is that though a lot of people may say how happy they are deep inside and behind our backs I wonder if they say things like: "poor thing had to have her stomach out cause she couldn't control herself" or "wait till all the weight creeps back up" and "she'll need plastic surgery for sure!". How do I know this? Well, prior to getting fat during the last year I was a normal weight and hanging out with the skinny crowd and I heard that plenty of times about others(from medical professionals). You can REALLY lose weight, A LOT of it by fasting, by doing the HCG protocol, by starving yourself, by drinking slim fast shakes and nothing else and even like us eating small portions and exercising. It is not only by surgery that people lose weight I was not lucky enough to have that kind of will power on my own. Not choosing to put a bumper sticker on my car saying HEY I HAD WLS! doesn't make me a liar. Also there are some people who have family members who terrorized them about being fat mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters, and NEVER once reached out to want to help why are these people entitled to knowing 85% of stomach is gone? I am proud I took control of my life and this as my NUT says is my "own personal project". Put it this way, I went to GNC to buy a shake mix and the store clerk and I started talking and I told mentioned to her my procedure...she made sure to tell me that so and so she knows keeps fainting at work, binging at Olive Garden and throwing up, and that she was so LUCKY because she dropped 120lbs on her own! WOW-you can imagine how I felt leaving the store. Anyway it is what it is.

[pumpkin07 32]

I was very honest about my surgery. But if I had it to do over again...not sure I would tell many people.

Because for one thing it would be funny as hell for everyone to think I totally figured it out after 20 years of fat. That would be hilarious. I know they just would not understand it and that would be so funny.

It is just a personal decision, but it was easier for me to be honest. But my real reason for being honest is bc I thought it might help people that were considering the surgery. It didn't. No one has been interested, some have been critical. It is the most non-interesting subject to people for whatever reason. I'm sure if I failed thought they would be all over that, right? Everyone is always quicker to talk about who failed than who succeeded. Not always, but the news travels very fast.

If you tell it will be hot gossip, but you will not get any credit for your weight loss - your doctor will. If you regain, you will be to blame, right?

A personal choice, I think both options are great. Just choose.

Just a warning, if you decide to hide it keep your story VERY consistent about how you are losing weight. Multiple lies are very confusing.

The truth is easier to remember.

[justdance 0]

I agree with bzbutterfly79.. we come here to not be judged but somehow through peoples posts we are.. all the poster wanted was your expierence not what u think about what other people chose to do and how you feel about it.. its everyone's own decision to handle things the way they do. As for me I only told my husband and good friend I don't believe everyone needs to know my business. And it certainly wasn't a shame thing. It's a mind your won business thing.. so the next time you want to sit here and judge people on why they choose not to tell. Take your own advice and skip over the topic

[srwright66 1]

I agree with bzbutterfly79.. we come here to not be judged but somehow through peoples posts we are.. all the poster wanted was your expierence not what u think about what other people chose to do and how you feel about it.. its everyone's own decision to handle things the way they do. As for me I only told my husband and good friend I don't believe everyone needs to know my business. And it certainly wasn't a shame thing. It's a mind your won business thing.. so the next time you want to sit here and judge people on why they choose not to tell. Take your own advice and skip over the topic

Go back and read my post. I did not judge anybody. The original poster asked for our experiences. I told how I handled it. My experiences were positive. They asked for advantage/disadvantages. I expressed what the disadvanage could be if someone didn't tell and people found out. I didn't tell them what they should do either way. It is their decision.

[srwright66 1]

I read your post and wanted to ask you, I've had a gallbladder out, and a tubal ligation, technically I am no longer able to get pregnant do I have to go around telling people about that? A surgery to me is a surgery I treat them equal, some riskier than others but to me not telling has NOTHING to do with shame it has to do with respect for myself, I am entitled to have something belong to me, another thing I will say to you is that though a lot of people may say how happy they are deep inside and behind our backs I wonder if they say things like: "poor thing had to have her stomach out cause she couldn't control herself" or "wait till all the weight creeps back up" and "she'll need plastic surgery for sure!". How do I know this? Well, prior to getting fat during the last year I was a normal weight and hanging out with the skinny crowd and I heard that plenty of times about others(from medical professionals). You can REALLY lose weight, A LOT of it by fasting, by doing the HCG protocol, by starving yourself, by drinking slim fast shakes and nothing else and even like us eating small portions and exercising. It is not only by surgery that people lose weight I was not lucky enough to have that kind of will power on my own. Not choosing to put a bumper sticker on my car saying HEY I HAD WLS! doesn't make me a liar. Also there are some people who have family members who terrorized them about being fat mothers, fathers, brothers, and sisters, and NEVER once reached out to want to help why are these people entitled to knowing 85% of stomach is gone? I am proud I took control of my life and this as my NUT says is my "own personal project". Put it this way, I went to GNC to buy a shake mix and the store clerk and I started talking and I told mentioned to her my procedure...she made sure to tell me that so and so she knows keeps fainting at work, binging at Olive Garden and throwing up, and that she was so LUCKY because she dropped 120lbs on her own! WOW-you can imagine how I felt leaving the store. Anyway it is what it is.

[srwright66 1]

Go back and read my post. I gave an honest account of my experience and the disadvantages in a "what if" scenario. Let me put this in a different perspective. You can look at this how you want. I don't go running up and down the streets announcing that I am having surgery.

To answer your question. If someone I was speaking with told me they were having symptoms/problems with gallbladder, female issues, or otherwise I would have no problem discussing with them what I had done surgically. Maybe it will put their mind at ease or I can answer a question if they have it.

Here's an example. Let's say you lose 100 pounds and you are asked how you lost the weight. What do you say? If you don't tell them you had surgery and they find out you did. How do you look to that person? I would rather people know than assume I was on drugs or was ill. Having gall bladder surgery, tubal, etc doesn't show on the outside. Losing 100 pounds does, and it is bound to raise questions.

Answer this for me please. You stated it isn't about shame, it's about self respect. Because I have told people, I have no self respect? No, I don't think so. We just have different ways of handling things. I never said you should be ashamed. I said I wasn't ashamed.

I haven't been big all my life either. I could care less what people say behind my back. I hope they say something about me having plastic surgery. In a heartbeat I will tell them 'yes and my boobies will look better than your boobies" LOL!

[justdance 0]

Listen no one here is here to make enemies but I was just upset that you prefaced your comment by "it disturbs me to see people who want to keep this a secret"..that's all.. now I'm here bc I soon will be getting this surgery and I look for postiveness.. so I wish you the best

[srwright66 1]

Justdance,

I'm not here to get on anyone's bad side and my statement wasn't meant to upset anyone. It does disturb me when I have read those types of topics. I feel for the people that don't have support or have negativity in their life. I breaks my heart for them. I want everyone to have support and have a positive experience. Maybe I should have clarified that.

[justdance 0]

See now that makes me see ur point of view. Very much appreciated.. I do not have the support that I wish I could have so I turn to these boards for it..

[sfdavid 1]

The world met Star Jones in 1997, when she went from Court TV correspondent to one of five co-hosts on Barbara Walters' talk show The View. She was known for her quick wit and take-charge attitude, but also for her rapidly growing weight problem. By 2003, Star had reached 307 pounds and was diagnosed as morbidly obese.

That same year, Star decided to undergo gastric bypass surgery. Yet, as her weight melted off in front of the national TV audience, she never addressed her changing body truthfully with her fans. In the three years that followed, Star lost 160 pounds. She also lost the trust of her viewers and, ultimately, her popularity. In 2006, Star was let go from her spot on The View.

The truth has set me free.

[sadie_mo 2]

I tell everyone who will listen I post a count down on my Facebook and all my coworkers know . I am a person who puts it all out there and says love me or leave me alone. This wasn't like anything else it was hard to make up my mind to share this though. I get lots if emails on facebook though wanting details and price because the truth is people do want to know and some may not have ever thought they could do this so I am speaking out and saying it's ok . I am out of the WLS closet and so happy to share.

I know it's hard for some people and they want to keep it a secret and I think it is just a personal choice. I get lots of great feed back and some negative and I am sure people talk behind my back but I can handle it.

[sadie_mo 2]

See now that makes me see ur point of view. Very much appreciated.. I do not have the support that I wish I could have so I turn to these boards for it..

Thank Goodness we all have eachother to lean on .

[sarahh1828 4]

I told my in-laws today, mainly because my MIL had the lapband a few years ago, and I figured she'd understand a little. She didn't. She was very negative, although that's probably related to her regret at getting the band (she hates it!). I told my sister in law because her and I used to do biggest loser competitions between us to keep motivated, and I would feel like a horrible cheater if she wanted to start another after I'd gotten my sleeve and I didn't tell her. She was very interested and supportive, so we will see. I told my mom a few days ago and my husband knew when I started the bariatric options classes that I'd be having something done. I haven't told anyone else yet though,and I don't plan to tell anyone else unless they ask.