What to say to the negative friends?

[fern 195]

I'm am getting sleeved on February 25!! I'm so excited ( and scared). I've told my immediate daily, boss, and best friend. Everyone has been really supportive except my best friend. She is as overweight as me and at first pushed hard for me to do Jenny Craig etc. with her. I knew she'd do this so I told her my reasons and left it at that. Then she calls me the other day and starts telling me horror stories about her moms friends cousin etc etc that had wls and died. And then starts asking me what my husband and kids are going to do without me if things go wrong!! I didn't know what to say!! I know it's like .2% of surgeries are fatal. Is that right?

[M2G 1,836]

What would your husband and kids do if you die in a car accident today? Or get hit by a bus tomorrow? Or die in a plane crash?

I'm sorry she is not being supportive, and I would tell her that you have given this lots and lots of thought and you are ready to make a positive change in your life. Your hope is that she could be happy and supportive for you, but if she can't then she needs to keep her NEGATIVE thoughts to herself. I realize that people who love you are also people who are scared for you, but people have surgery every day and don't die from surgery. Sorry I hope she comes around but you might need some space from her right now.

[fern 195]

I agree that I need to just leave some space between us. The crappy thing about this whole thing is that it makes me second guess myself and my decision. I really struggled with it because my husband is and only child and has now lost both his parents ( he's only 35). I hate to think about if something happened, but your right. I could die tomorrow in a car accident -that would suck : (

I think I need to just move forward and ignore it, but to ignore your best girlfriend just really sucks!!

[chilo1 62]

I agree that I need to just leave some space between us. The crappy thing about this whole thing is that it makes me second guess myself and my decision. I really struggled with it because my husband is and only child and has now lost both his parents ( he's only 35). I hate to think about if something happened, but your right. I could die tomorrow in a car accident -that would suck : (

I think I need to just move forward and ignore it, but to ignore your best girlfriend just really sucks!!

The odds of you dying in the next say 10 years from some obesity associated disease are much greater than you dying from theissurgery! Check the statistics and good luck

[afdonn 1]

I'm am getting sleeved on February 25!! I'm so excited ( and scared). I've told my immediate daily, boss, and best friend. Everyone has been really supportive except my best friend. She is as overweight as me and at first pushed hard for me to do Jenny Craig etc. with her. I knew she'd do this so I told her my reasons and left it at that. Then she calls me the other day and starts telling me horror stories about her moms friends cousin etc etc that had wls and died. And then starts asking me what my husband and kids are going to do without me if things go wrong!! I didn't know what to say!! I know it's like .2% of surgeries are fatal. Is that right?

I wonder if deep down she is jealous, or scared about the future when her friend is thinner and she is not. Maybe that is part of it. Good luck, you will do great, I'm 1 week out and feeling awesome, 11 pounds down. Anne

[faithstar 3]

I think what is happening here is she is scared you will be successful and she won't and then she will be out of her familiar comfort zone with you. Perhaps, subconsciously, she likes you being as overweight as her as it doesn't challenge her or make her feel bad about herself. When you start to lose the weight, it will make her insecurities rise and she will either have to be encouraged to lose weight herself or start to feel jealous.

[Becca 108]

Life has many risks, no matter what. If you have a good surgeon, you will do just fine. The sleeve has a very low rate of complications. I had someone close to me try to tell me all that garbage about WLS and it was so annoying, so I know how you feel. In the end, YOUR HAPPINESS and HEALTH are what matters. The sleeve will give you control over food. That is something I have never had before and I love it. My pants are starting to get lose and that feels better than overeating ever did. I know it will be hard having a close friend who doesn't support you NOW, but she may change her mind later when she sees your success! Good luck. You are making a great decision!

[treequeen 13]

I've decided that if my "friends" can't be supportive or at least keep the negativity to themselves, I can just make new friends when i get thin.