Kelly's Journey

[Kelly'sChipper 2]

Like any addict, I've always believed I could solve this on my own. I always said that my mind and my mouth got me into this, my mind and my mouth will get me out of it! I've yo-yo'd all my life and now tipping the scale over 350 pounds (after gaining back a lot of weight) it's now time for me to get serious about weight loss again.

I think (think possibly being the operative word) that I am an anomaly. I know I am heavy, but I am healthy. I am not diabetic, I don't have heart disease, high blood pressure / cholosterol, or sleep aptnea, etc. My bloodwork is near perfect and I can exercise with minimal joint pain. I don't have any psychological scars for why I over eat. I just LOVE being a foodie!

Since my insurance doesn't cover the sleeve, I decided to pay cash. My surgery date is scheduled for February 28th, 2011.

I'm freaking out!

My Surgeon (liquid has me mourning my friend, food already.

If I applied myself I know I can do this on my own (again) and I keep asking myself, do I really need to be cut up in order to lose the wieight?

[Stacy160 201]

Nobody can tell you what to do, but the thing is that even if you don't have any health issues yet ... and you're lucky if you're not even having joint or spine problems yet ... you most certainly will eventually.

Most people ride the weight-loss roller coaster for several years, with many One Last Good Tries, before admitting that it's just not working and something has to be done. But when you know, you KNOW, even if it makes you nervous and you start having the "what-if" thoughts. If despite having those feelings you still know that it's time, then it's time.

[Kelly'sChipper 2]

Nobody can tell you what to do, but the thing is that even if you don't have any health issues yet ... and you're lucky if you're not even having joint or spine problems yet ... you most certainly will eventually.

Most people ride the weight-loss roller coaster for several years, with many One Last Good Tries, before admitting that it's just not working and something has to be done. But when you know, you KNOW, even if it makes you nervous and you start having the "what-if" thoughts. If despite having those feelings you still know that it's time, then it's time.

Thanks! I know it is time. I've had more than one "Last Good Try" and I'm thankful to know it's normal to have the "what-ifs". I do believe I should do this NOW at 41 years old before I start having multiple complications due to obesity. I am thrilled to have a place here to come and talk to like-minded people. I am keeping this on the DL, only my parents and hubby know what I am about to do and I'm sure to have lots of questions & emotions to work out here.

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

This is a decision you have to make for yourself.

When I first started I was 317. I wanted so badly to be healthy. I wanted to weigh less.

I tried it on my own, I'd lose a little but then gain it back. It was just too hard to maintain.

I decided to have WLS and it changed my life. I'm less than a month out, but the changes I have already seen in myself are incredible.

I lost 26 pounds pre op. Some people asked me if I could lose THAT much on my own before surgery.... why did I need the actual surgery itself...

Truth is, I knew I had 160 pounds to lose. THAT I could NOT do on my own.

It's all about being realistic.

I hope you can figure things out soon.

If you need someone to talk to I'm always a PM away

[lucill35 73]

I saw your post and thought "did i write this?" So much of what you said, I've also lived. I've tried Atkins when it first came out in the 80's, WW, Nutri-System when you used to go to a center, dietician, South Beach, I've done them all. I would lose weight and then get tired of counting the points, want some cake, be like everyone else and then I would find that lost weight. I also moved pretty quickly through the WLS process like you. After finding out my insurance would only pay for lapband or bypass, I decided that I didn't have the 6 months to do a physician supervised diet for a surgery that I wasn't interested in. I wanted VSG. So I did my research and have surgery scheduled two weeks from yesterday. Am I scared sh**less? Absolutely! Not of the surgery but if I can do it. I do realize the surgery is a tool and I will have to do the work but there is still that fear that I am going to be the first person to say, "wow, the sleeve didn't work for me." It's time to break up with my best friend food. Will I know what to do? Well, I have an idea but won't know for sure until I am in that position. I have set myself up with supports through friends, this forum and will see a nutrionist when i return from surgery. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will it be worth it? Absolutely! I will be 44 two weeks after my surgery. I feel like it is a new beginning for myself. I went to get a passport picture taken yesterday. Horrified! Confirmation that this is what I need to do and that I never want to get another picture taken and be horrified at how it looks. I would love to keep in touch with you as we both go through this journey!

Sue

[Kelly'sChipper 2]

I saw your post and thought "did i write this?" So much of what you said, I've also lived. I've tried Atkins when it first came out in the 80's, WW, Nutri-System when you used to go to a center, dietician, South Beach, I've done them all. I would lose weight and then get tired of counting the points, want some cake, be like everyone else and then I would find that lost weight. I also moved pretty quickly through the WLS process like you. After finding out my insurance would only pay for lapband or bypass, I decided that I didn't have the 6 months to do a physician supervised diet for a surgery that I wasn't interested in. I wanted VSG. So I did my research and have surgery scheduled two weeks from yesterday. Am I scared sh**less? Absolutely! Not of the surgery but if I can do it. I do realize the surgery is a tool and I will have to do the work but there is still that fear that I am going to be the first person to say, "wow, the sleeve didn't work for me." It's time to break up with my best friend food. Will I know what to do? Well, I have an idea but won't know for sure until I am in that position. I have set myself up with supports through friends, this forum and will see a nutrionist when i return from surgery. Will it be easy? Probably not. Will it be worth it? Absolutely! I will be 44 two weeks after my surgery. I feel like it is a new beginning for myself. I went to get a passport picture taken yesterday. Horrified! Confirmation that this is what I need to do and that I never want to get another picture taken and be horrified at how it looks. I would love to keep in touch with you as we both go through this journey!

Sue

Thanks a MILLION Sue for sharing. My insurance also only covered the Lap-band and Bypass. If I didn't have insurance at all I would still choose the Sleeve so I made a decision not over money but what I believe is better suited for my WLS. My deductible was so high that what's another 7 grand anyway! (HA!)

I think you and I can become BFF's during the roller coaster of feelings pre & post-op and I am very excited to have an outlet in this Forum. I'm not telling anyone outside of my family, I just want people to think I am the incredible shrinking woman so I know I will need support from people who have or are going through what I am about to do. I'm looking forward to future communications with you! (OH, and you can say SHIT[less], or any other 4 letter word around me. I am not easily offended.)

Kelly

[Kelly'sChipper 2]

This is a decision you have to make for yourself.

When I first started I was 317. I wanted so badly to be healthy. I wanted to weigh less.

I tried it on my own, I'd lose a little but then gain it back. It was just too hard to maintain.

I decided to have WLS and it changed my life. I'm less than a month out, but the changes I have already seen in myself are incredible.

I lost 26 pounds pre op. Some people asked me if I could lose THAT much on my own before surgery.... why did I need the actual surgery itself...

Truth is, I knew I had 160 pounds to lose. THAT I could NOT do on my own.

It's all about being realistic.

I hope you can figure things out soon.

If you need someone to talk to I'm always a PM away

I wish I would've decided to do this at your age! You are already the cutest thing ever and are going to be seriously H.O.T. the closer you get to your goal. Thank you for sharing and I am looking forward to following your journey!

-Kelly

[faithstar 3]

I think the key thing to remember is, we can all lose weight on our own BUT keeping it off is where we all struggle and where the sleeve will come in handy.

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

Aw, that was super sweet. Thank you

I have a blog if you wanna follow!

www.mamamonner.blogspot.com

[lucill35 73]

Well, I'm glad you weren't offended by my use of profanity but I was afraid to actually spell out the word for fear that I would get kicked off the boards That's the last thing I need at this point. I think lurking about the forums has become my transfer addiction from eating and I need all the help I can get at this point. I'm sure that I can restrain myself from swearing publicly and save it for you for a message I have been doing low carb/high Protein for about two weeks somewhat but really have to put the hammer down starting Wednesday. 10 days from Wednesday will be my surgery!!! WTF, how did I get to this point??? I just went to a WL seminar in November. I never dreamed I would be at this point this soon. Took a different road from what I had planned but I believe there is a reason for everything. Let's definately keep in touch during this process. My mom just asked me the other day if I was ready for the changes this process is going to entail. I told her that I thought this forum was going to be extremely helpful as I had already "met" several people going through the same thing and actually another person going to the same doctor for surgery the same day I am. I think that is much better support than a local support group of people that meets once/month. Not that I am opposed to that, I just don't know if that is enough support for me! Have a great week and let me know how you are doing when you get a chance.

ps: did you have a different picture up originally or am i losing my mind in addition to hopefully losing weight???

[Brother J 11]

When my surgeon told me to do liquids and shakes only for 2 weeks preop, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it perfectly and I didn't. No complications from surgery so my liver wasn't enlarged. I really need VSG to help me and now I have to make the behavioral changes and I feel I can succeed! Keep on trying.

[cludgie 81]

I think my what ifs kicked in the minute i was wheeled into theatre, and thankfully by then they were very brief! I can only speak from my own experience, but I have done liquid only diets, in the past, and as son as I am denied something completely I want it much more!

So I am 12 days post op, and I've already made some mistakes (Sadly I've not been re-born as a person with an Iron will), however the sheer magnitude of such slip ups is so minor compared to the "old" me. I struggle on liquid only, and can technically move on to mush, but I find mush too filling, so I am choosing to have liquids for most meals, but when I get the urge to eat I'm havng a little mush. Tonight I had a single scrambled egg and was full. I am satisfied, and thats what helps resist temptation too much.

I allowed myself a single bit of chocolate tonight (normally a family sized bar would be gone in seconds), and I had the sleeve because I don't want everything to be taboo forever. I ate a tiny chocolate (yes just one), I enjoyed it, like really stoped and enjoyed it, then I put them back and walked away happy - this has NEVER been something I could do before.

I have a skinny husband, and two skinny kids so our house will always be full of temptation, and although I still instinctively open the fridge whenever I pass it, I now feel able to close the door again without taking food I don't need.

I know that people talk about the restriction easing, and I guess it must so that we can get back on to solids, but I am making the most of this whilst it lasts, and hope that I can change my habits whilst I have the most assistance.

Good luck with your decision, and let us know how you get on.

Cx

[treequeen 13]

I would like to think I could lose weight and keep it off, but the sad fact is, I can lose a little weight and then gain it back.... history repeats itself.. I need to do this...I want to maintain a weightloss forever and the sleeve is my only chance and now is the time... before I get any co-morbities.. So now the ball is rolling I get to see the doc/dietician this thurs to start my 6month supervised diet. I'm sure I'll have moments of doubt about going thru with it, but I will come here and read more success stories and My day will come and I will get my sleeve and my existence will end and my life will begin. Now that is something to look foreward to. Good luck with your decision.

[Kelly'sChipper 2]

...

ps: did you have a different picture up originally or am i losing my mind in addition to hopefully losing weight???

Thanks for noticing! Yes, I needed to put a more recent picture up since I darkened my hair and got bangs. I needed a mini-makeover, before my major makeover!

[Kelly'sChipper 2]

When my surgeon told me to do liquids and shakes only for 2 weeks preop, I knew I wouldn't be able to do it perfectly and I didn't. No complications from surgery so my liver wasn't enlarged. I really need VSG to help me and now I have to make the behavioral changes and I feel I can succeed! Keep on trying.

I read on another post here that it takes MONTHS to shrink the liver and that Dr's just say that to get your head in the game. I'm not looking for an excuse, I'll do the liquid thing pre-op like a good little girl but did your doctor say to shrink the fat around your liver? (honestly, I can't remember if mine actually said anything about the liver or if it's just what I've heard before and it has stuck in my head).