Kiki Von Moonshine 53 Posted April 28, 2012 I think its natural to have fears of the physical changes when dealing with weightloss. While I can agree that a large majority of black men might like "thickness" in a woman, not all do. Whats most important is trying to overcome fears that both partners might have. Communication is important, honest and open communication. I feel that a partner should accept your size regardless, especially if its improving you, i.e. eliminating comorbities, or the positive physical changes. Losing weight is not something breaking up over so tell that partner to chill out and sit down somewhere. 1 littlebits reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlebits 154 Posted April 28, 2012 I agree Kiki. I have never felt uncomfortable in my skin; therefore, I feel that a person should love you for who you are and not based on the size of your breast or behind. Maybe lack of self esteem is the real issue...Idk. If that's the case then say that. I'm going through this process b/c of my medical issues; therefore, ridiculous comments about black men loving curves are a bit much for me...my black man loves me for me! So, yes, I will express my opinion! Have a great day! Little bits 2 PEvette and lynchdalynx reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vsgchichi 48 Posted April 28, 2012 If my man starts complaining about the look of my body as I lose weight instead of being supportive....then he can kiknrocks because most definitely their will be a new man out there who will love the new healthier me! 4 littlebits, lynchdalynx, dar1983 and 1 other reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ShoeLover 141 Posted April 28, 2012 Hello All, I'm wondering why African American Sleevers is just a thread instead of a subforum on its own within the Special interest support groups. There are a lot of different subjects related to our experiences, and just adding to one thread it's difficult to keep track of all the topics that are brought up here. Do we need to put in a request somewhere? 5 littlebits, PEvette, ChinaWood and 2 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chichis77 1 Posted April 28, 2012 @ shoelover their is an African American group maybe can post different topics there....not sure I'm new to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BKMama 179 Posted April 28, 2012 There is the African American Sleevers social group, which has a discussion portion....but it's kind of hard to get to: http://www.verticalsleevetalk.com/forum/123-african-american-sleevers/ Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bump21 1 Posted April 28, 2012 Mine finally disappeared mid second week. I just walked and took gas x strips. I was scared to wear any type of body Shapewear cause of my incisions. Today I just bought a cheap piece of shapewear from Cato's just to try it out and I wish I had bought it sooner. It keeps the gas from moving up my chest and it keeps the skin/fat from pulling at the surgical site when I move suddenly or bend over. PLUS it doesn't hurt my incisions. Actually it keeps me from wanting to scratch at them while their healing. Best $20 bucks I've spent so far!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kayte819 95 Posted April 28, 2012 Kayte819 I agree with you, culturally speaking black men do like a "thick" woman whereas white men do not. It's only natural to be concerned about his reaction to how your body is changing he is your husband after all. Maybe he has concerns of his own that he hasn't voiced like being concerned about the attention you may get from other men as you continue to lose weight. I would encourage you to express your concerns about his comment just to give you both a chance to talk about the changes you're experiencing. I hate you were made to feel like your question "was funny" because it was a true concern for you and no one should be made fun of. I mean, that's why we're all here in the first place. To obtain encouragement and support in an enviornment that doesn't judge us for superficial reasons such as our weight or our color. Just saying.... Thank you very, very much for your kind, thoughtful response. I intend to take your advice, as well as Kiki's & try talking to him a little more about the comment. I also want to thank you for not making a joke of a very real concern I have. I appreciate your understanding. Last, I'd like to say that USMCWife asked an extremely similar question about a year ago. No one was offended, Jo one mocked her.......so what's the difference between her concerns & mine? Why s my concern "offensive"?? I really, really, really wasn't expecting this type of negativity at all. I didn't & still don't think its offensive to ask other women (of any ethnicity) who may be in similar situations for their advice. I didn't intend to offend & most certainly didn't come to a support site to be judged or insulted....kind of counterproductive. I wish you all the best in your journeys. 1 vsg30815 reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ShoeLover 141 Posted April 28, 2012 There is the African American Sleevers social group, which has a discussion portion....but it's kind of hard to get to: http://www.verticals...rican-sleevers/ I know about the social group, but it is hard to locate, and it seems like there is more activity on this thread than there is on that group. Maybe if it was listed as a special interest group with a listing on home page, it would get more activity. 1 danithediva reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vsgchichi 48 Posted May 9, 2012 I just got approved woohoo!!!!!!!!! It's looking like early June no definite date yet yay!!! 5 vsg30815, Georgia, littlebits and 2 others reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlebits 154 Posted May 9, 2012 I just got approved woohoo!!!!!!!!!It's looking like early June no definite date yet yay!!! Yay...I'm right behind you!!! This last clearance on Friday is killing me! Hopefully, the insurance company will approve VSG! Little bits Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chichis77 1 Posted May 9, 2012 Yay...I'm right behind you!!! This last clearance on Friday is killing me! Hopefully, the insurance company will approve VSG! Little bits They will that way we can journey together 1 littlebits reacted to this Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
littlebits 154 Posted May 11, 2012 They will that way we can journey together When are you having your surgery? Little bits Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sentos 12 Posted May 11, 2012 Hey all. How did everyone's scars heal and what did you use on them? My scars are keloiding so bad. I use coco butter but they are getting worse as the days go by. I am 7 weeks out and down 37#. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sentos 12 Posted May 11, 2012 Has anyone experienced any depression since being sleeved? I have been sad for at least 3 weeks. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites