African American Sleevers

[bigjoe59 62]

Im not sure when this AA sleevers forum turned into a bash our own people page, but not feeling it. Ignorance has no color. It comes from fear, and lack of education in life or on the subject. Lets be honest with ourselves and admitt that you dont or didnt tell others cause of your own insecurity about the surgery. You can't generalize a whole race because your friends and family may not get it. They may understand but your to scared to tell them. You have to remember why you had your surgery. The most important thing is health not looking good in a new outfit. Help our race understand dont not them if you haven't put forth the effort to help educate them to umdersrand. Remember ignorance has no color

[Karen Scott 117]

I don't believe we r bashing our own race u probably misunderstood. The long and short is some people just don't want to b educated...my nutrition told me a story about a woman who just did the surgery for health reasons and although her own mother knew that the odds were stacked against her and was educated about the reason for such a decision she refused to learn and accept her daughters plea for a better life. Not everyone can diet and it works, if that was the case we wouldn't be removing a whole chunk of our stomach just to aid us in reducing our weight and comordities. At the end of the day it's just pure ignorance especially if you r not willing to b open minded and supportive. My view is it's for a better life not to b skinny but to live longer and if you have children to c your kids grow. #vsgiscolorblind

[bigjoe59 62]

I don't believe we r bashing our own race u probably misunderstood. The long and short is some people just don't want to b educated...my nutrition told me a story about a woman who just did the surgery for health reasons and although her own mother knew that the odds were stacked against her and was educated about the reason for such a decision she refused to learn and accept her daughters plea for a better life. Not everyone can diet and it works, if that was the case we wouldn't be removing a whole chunk of our stomach just to aid us in reducing our weight and comordities. At the end of the day it's just pure ignorance especially if you r not willing to b open minded and supportive. My view is it's for a better life not to b skinny but to live longer and if you have children to c your kids grow. #vsgiscolorblind

Karen,

I guess when I read that 99.9 % of black people are negative about the things that they don't know it ru s me the wrong why. When you claim your own wont support you, but you wont support your own with giving them some education about a life saving procedure. In my eyes the man that knows and wont teach is just guilty as the man that didnt take time to learn. I hate to break the news, but I heard white people are negative to. Its thousands of Caucasians on this site who cant share there whole story for lack of support or fear of judgement. Ignorance has no color.

[sweetcheeks14 13]

BigJoe59

I agree with Karen it was not necessarily that people were bashing our own race the point was when she asked the question everyone gave their opinion from there own experience, everybody on this thread should respect everyone's opinion regardless if you don't agree with it!

Secondly I'm the one that said 99.9% but my main reason for doing that is because I've lived in several different cities in different cities and haven't many acquaintances outside just family and friends in the common consensus that I have notice is that when apparently they're not educated they think negative and even after educating them they're still not open-minded to the bigger picture. I spoke in reference to AA because she asked specifically about AA and there negative feedback she receives. Had she asked about other cultures I would of gladly provided info that AA or not the only culture that responds I know several people that aren't AA that think closed minded as well!

Lastly if you look back on this thread there are more AA that don't share their WLS because of negative feedback where as other cultures tend to share! I also know this because I'm in a support group at my hospitals for WLS and there once again AA have shared the negative feedback, in contrast other cultures have shared their support system! In addition, I was referring to all subjects not just WLS as a topic, where AA tend to give negative feedback about what is not their norm!!!

[O-Town Body Rock 148]

Im not sure when this AA sleevers forum turned into a bash our own people page, but not feeling it. Ignorance has no color. It comes from fear, and lack of education in life or on the subject. Lets be honest with ourselves and admitt that you dont or didnt tell others cause of your own insecurity about the surgery. You can't generalize a whole race because your friends and family may not get it. They may understand but your to scared to tell them. You have to remember why you had your surgery. The most important thing is health not looking good in a new outfit. Help our race understand dont not them if you haven't put forth the effort to help educate them to umdersrand. Remember ignorance has no color

Not bashing our own race just keeping it real when it comes to dealing with our family, friends, etc.I have not told anyone that I had wls besides the husband but when I was trying to get approved by my insurance 8 months ago and my family/ friends knew about it, I was ridiculed, mocked, told I was gonna die, told that "only white people do stuff like that" and looked down upon. But my co-workers at the job, who are white, had nothing but encouraging things to say.

I am not comparing race nor talking down on my people, Im just telling you my experience in regards to reactions and race.

God forbid if they knew I went to Mexico and got it down. Ewww, Lawd!!

Edited May 14, 2014 by O-Town Body Rock

[back2barb78 890]

I 100% don't think anyone is bashing anyone- we're just "talking" about experiences. Across the board in life, people in general make dumb a@$ comments no matter the what the conversation may be about. We all know that. As far as here, we're hear to listen to each other and be of support where we can.

Edited May 15, 2014 by back2barb78

[bigjoe59 62]

Not bashing our own race just keeping it real when it comes to dealing with our family, friends, etc.I have not told anyone that I had wls besides the husband but when I was trying to get approved by my insurance 8 months ago and my family/ friends knew about it, I was ridiculed, mocked, told I was gonna die, told that "only white people do stuff like that" and looked down upon. But my co-workers at the job, who are white, had nothing but encouraging things to say.

I am not comparing race nor talking down on my people, Im just telling you my experience in regards to reactions and race.

God forbid if they knew I went to Mexico and got it down. Ewww, Lawd!!

Well I my experience is different. My experience in life has been different with my people. Viewing a persons true opinion on something as negative because it goes against what you believe is wrong. How many one on one conversations have you had with family members about your choice to have surgery. Family feels comfortable to tell you there truth, a co worker my not. A disagreement on a subject doesn't equal negativity.

[O-Town Body Rock 148]

Well I my experience is different. My experience in life has been different with my people. Viewing a persons true opinion on something as negative because it goes against what you believe is wrong. How many one on one conversations have you had with family members about your choice to have surgery. Family feels comfortable to tell you there truth, a co worker my not. A disagreement on a subject doesn't equal negativity.

I dont have to have one on one conversations with anyone to try and change their mind on something I am doing with my life. So "the truth" you mentioned that my family told me was that 1. I was gonna die and 2. white people do stuff like that. Sounds a little negative to me.

If you chose to hold a weight loss seminar for your family and/ or friends, more power to you. For me, it is not that serious, nor imperative to try and convince someone in order to gain their approval of a decision I have made especially when it comes to my health.

Im just saying.

[bigjoe59 62]

I dont have to have one on one conversations with anyone to try and change their mind on something I am doing with my life. So "the truth" you mentioned that my family told me was that 1. I was gonna die and 2. white people do stuff like that. Sounds a little negative to me.

If you chose to hold a weight loss seminar for your family and/ or friends, more power to you. For me, it is not that serious, nor imperative to try and convince someone in order to gain their approval of a decision I have made especially when it comes to my health.

Im just saying.

You sound a lil upset. No family wls seminars at home. Just saying that maybe speaking to people alone to share your decision could help them understAnd. I agree you dont need anyones approval. Just believe in giving my loves ones the education just incase a scared family member wants to text me in private about it. But to each his/her own. If your mind is closed then you cant expect others to be open

Just saying

[MisforMimi 760]

Thanks everyone for your opinions. I am enjoying this discussion. But I would like to put the word ignorant in the proper context maybe under or mis-educated and perhaps distrustful. And I believe we can give the AA experience in the medical establishment some historical perspective and validation when we think about forced sterilizations and the infamous Tuskegee experiment. These were atrocities committed against AA in this country. I have also volunteered with hospice for many years and often Black and Latino families are the very last to seek out and participate in these types of resources and I believe for many it was seen as a form for concession like you've given up - as a family and as their medical providers. I think there is a cultural value seen in resilience, "pulling yourself up by the bootstraps" for weight loss anyways and I believe many view WLS as elective! Seriously, I have people in my family who are 350+ pounds saying - you can do it on your own. Which in the end for some this is probably true. I have great support systems in my life about many things - just not as much as I would like for WLS. This is neither encourging or deterring to something that is ultimately my decision - it just is. I was curious what other's experiences were. What made people decide to "concede" and have the surgery? What was the thing that made you realize that you could not loose weight without the assistance of surgery?

[Savedbygrace22 28]

Just wanted to share this. Today i was at the store and they had catfish nuggets on sale so i bought a package of them. We can't eat fried so i went online and found this recipe i just tried and it was excellent. It's baked not fried and there is no breading. i doubled the amount of catfish as i was making it for my wife too (she was sleeved the week after me) but i kept the rest the same. I also used can't believe it's not butter and i realize you can probably get away with 2 or 3oz as with the lemon juice and dry white wine there is plenty of sauce for 4 nuggets. i didn't use salt or cilantro. it was really good and flavorful and depending on oven 12 minutes was perfect for mine it came out tender falling off the fork good. play with it make your own but where i got it from it got real good reviews so i tried it and i wasn't disappointed.

Enjoy

Ingredients

2 (7 to 8-ounce) catfish fillets

4 ounces butter

4 ounces dry white wine

1 tablespoon lemon juice

1 teaspoon finely chopped garlic

1 teaspoon chopped cilantro

Salt to taste

Pepper to taste

Paprika

Directions

Season fish with salt and pepper. Place fish in oval casserole dish. Melt 4 ounces butter in small sauce pan. Add wine and remaining ingredients, except the paprika. Simmer about 2 minutes. Remove from heat and spoon over fish. Now sprinkle paprika over fish. Bake fish in 375 degree oven for 10 to 12 minutes, or until the fish is done.

Read more at: http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/baked-catfish-recipe/index.html?oc=linkback

[O-Town Body Rock 148]

No not upset. I have sense of coming across that way via email, text, post, etc. It takes more than that to upset me. Just making a point as we all are here on the board.

Did you just call me closed minded...? (J/K) Ive been called worst than that...like FAT!!

Edited May 14, 2014 by O-Town Body Rock

[Savedbygrace22 28]

Nate74,

User error is evident as your recipe is under my name. Twice I have tried to comment, but the page freezes and I had to cancel. Then my comment is gone.

Wanted to thank you for this recipe. Will enjoy it when I'm able to eat. Thanks for sharing with us!

[cherrytree15 78]

Hmmmm not sure how that whole discussion turned into a debate. But I would have to agree that AA community is not as open to health care options in general. Obesity and mental health care are high up on the list. My surgery is next week and I have told no one but a few close family. I have not even told my mother, I will inform her after. This has nothing to do with being insecure about my decision, she can be down right negative sometimes. I mention thinking about it and all she said was no, that's crazy, you don't need that, blah, blah, blah. Lots of times black or white it comes from other people's insecurities of not being brave enough to stand up and make a decision to improve their own lives in any given area. So I'm not sure how some people interpreted the discussion as bashing our own kind. It was simply what it was, a discussion and no more.

[sweetcheeks14 13]

Not bashing our own race just keeping it real when it comes to dealing with our family, friends, etc.I have not told anyone that I had wls besides the husband but when I was trying to get approved by my insurance 8 months ago and my family/ friends knew about it, I was ridiculed, mocked, told I was gonna die, told that "only white people do stuff like that" and looked down upon. But my co-workers at the job, who are white, had nothing but encouraging things to say.

I am not comparing race nor talking down on my people, Im just telling you my experience in regards to reactions and race.

God forbid if they knew I went to Mexico and got it down. Ewww, Lawd!!

Well I my experience is different. My experience in life has been different with my people. Viewing a persons true opinion on something as negative because it goes against what you believe is wrong. How many one on one conversations have you had with family members about your choice to have surgery. Family feels comfortable to tell you there truth, a co worker my not. A disagreement on a subject doesn't equal negativity.

It is true a disagreement on a subject doesn't mean that the person is negative but their reasoning behind their disagreement is when it becomes negative or not.