Naysayers! Blah....

[Dusti 1]

So I finally have a surgery date (2/7/2011) and I am excited, nervous, anxious and scared all at the same time. I have not told a lot of people but it seems like when I do tell someone, they are somewhat reluctant. They all seem to have these horror stories of WLS gone bad and feel the need to tell me about them. WHY?? I want to do this, but even more than that I NEED to do this, because what these people don't understand is that at 309 lbs I am killing myself. So as excited as I am, I have this nagging little voice in the back of my head asking if I have made the right decision. Now don't get me wrong, that voice doesn't last very long, because I know that this is what I need to do for me and not these naysayers!!

[seniorsleever 17]

Dusti, that's what this forum is for--to provide the encouragement and support that may be lacking elsewhere! When I get discouraged or start doubting my decision to get a sleeve (just 2 more weeks! Yay!) I come here and read the new posts and re-read the old ones. They really show me that I am headed where I need to go.

[thinoneday 445]

So I finally have a surgery date (2/7/2011) and I am excited, nervous, anxious and scared all at the same time. I have not told a lot of people but it seems like when I do tell someone, they are somewhat reluctant. They all seem to have these horror stories of WLS gone bad and feel the need to tell me about them. WHY?? I want to do this, but even more than that I NEED to do this, because what these people don't understand is that at 309 lbs I am killing myself. So as excited as I am, I have this nagging little voice in the back of my head asking if I have made the right decision. Now don't get me wrong, that voice doesn't last very long, because I know that this is what I need to do for me and not these naysayers!!

Yippee for 2/7/2011 and a BIG CONGRATULATIONS to you for doing it ! Ignore those people for they know not what they say! People are creatures of habits and one of those habits is to make others miserable the same why as they are. . . so just say ya i guess and carry on. . . but just wait til you start losing weight. . . then you'll be able to say "Yeah thanks and see, I'm not even dead yet". . . good luck your going to do fabulous. . .

[Oopsseedaisy 90]

When I went to my psych eval, the Dr asked if my family was excited for me? My response was no. They are supportive and know this is what I want to do. I told the Dr that I had a website where people are excited. Thanks VST!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[educationrulz 18]

Stop talking about it to people until after your surgery is done and you start feeling better. The time close to surgery is very stressful with just the thoughts in your own head. You don't need other people's crap and hangups added to your own stress. You probably won't want to talk about it right after surgery either. Take this time for yourself and leave others out of it until you're ready to handle what they might say.

Congrats on your surgery date!

[myrori 55]

I looked at this way, I was the only person I need consent from!

I had the naysayers too, in fact one girl who was the worst will not talk to me since I went back to work. I think she is jealous. I don't people like that in my circle, so good riddance!

[Gipsprettyface 1]

Congrats on the surgery date Dusti! I understand the second guessing yourself, my best friend is my only naysayer but it sucks to make this big decision that will improve your life hugely, then have to defend it constantly. In time I should be able to change her mind, hopefully you can change your naysayers too! And hey, once they see your new hot bod, they can't help but see that VSG is a positive thing

[M2G 1,836]

I too, was hesitant to share with people that I was having elective WLS. I didn't want to hear the horror stories or hear the negative comments, etc. I was very careful with whom I chose to share info with. I really need positive encouragement, not negative.

In all of my research I found a horrible website about death and dying from WLS, and there were pictures that gave me nightmares for a bit. But when I looked at the whole picture, the thought of continuing to live my life in a morbidly obese body, the choice was clear.

I think we all experience fear about doing this to ourselves, but thank goodness for this forum and the people who had surgery and lived to tell us all about it. Good luck, the fear is a hard one to deal with, but you have to reframe your thinking and be positive...even if people around you don't share your optimisim and enthusiasm!

[Rootman 1,101]

I too told no one except my wife (of course). I was worried about naysayers, especially my family. My older brother and sister both had bypass surgery. My sister lost all the weight she wanted and then developed a heart condition (probably hereditary, our mom had the same thing), so she gained the weight back and has nothing but horror stories and complaints about her experience.

My brother is having problems too, the bypass he had works by not only limiting the amount of food but also by malabsorption of nutrients - the "bypass" bypassed a length of his small intestine and he there could not absorb the nutrients and therefore would not gain weight by the food he ate. Well the body is adjusting and the malabsorption is no longer working, he has to severely limit his calories, which is "killing" him he says. He has bouts of hunger and struggles to keep the weight off, and SOME nutrients are still not absorbed right, he takes multiple Vitamins a day just to make up the shortfall. BTW, both spent TENS of thousands on their surgeries, which really miffs them now as they are still struggling to loose weight or at least not get any fatter.

Well, long story short I didn't want anyone to talk me out of it, or worse yet try and convince my wife to try and convince ME not to do it. I spent only $5000 for self pay and so far 6+ weeks in I'm 65 lbs down and feeling pretty good.

Regardless of my sad story, do what YOU feel is right, you did right by coming here as there are tons of people that are going through or went through the SAME thing you are. Keep the faith, it WILL work out.

[Sheila 1]

Dusti,

I have had some similar experiences. I have decided that I was not going to tell anyone what I am doing except for those who I know will be 100% behind me and my decision. I do not want to have other people's hang ups or opinions to over shadow what I need to do for myself. So far I have had nothing but support and love from the few people I have told. I am so happy I went this route because I have read to many times that when people share their most personal decisions with others, it can be heartbreaking when those people basically poo-poo that decision and make the person feel awful.

I say to you, if you do not want to tell people, then don't. Only tell those you know will be supportive and respectful of your decision.

Good luck on Feb 7, I am sure we all will be thinking and praying for your recovery and the new healthier you.

Sheila

[edwood 19]

What? what weight loss surgery???

iunno...

[Dusti 1]

Thank you all...I am glad I am not the only one having issues like this! I am on the countdown now, and I am a bundle of emotions. I cannot wait but then again I am scared to death. I have so many things running through my mind, am I going to be in horrible pain? Am I going to vomit for days after the surgery? Am I going to regret the surgery? And how long is it going to take before I see a real weight loss difference? And how long do I have to save for my Tummy Tuck, breast augmentation, etc....JK (maybe)!!

[Margaret 4]

Dusti---same thing happened with me. I copied and pasted this website for a few friends, then wrote a little e-mail about my decision and mailed it. Very interesting little project. I had told my friends about my decision earlier, and as you experienced, got mixed reviews to say the least. One really honed in on the negatives and left me feeling a bit upset. HOWEVER, in telling them, I knew to expect some negativity. I thought if they'd really study the topic they would realize I was in the company of many lovely people simply wanting to be healthier and NOT doing something they decided overnight! The ones who really need to change the most are the ones most critical, and so it goes. People simply don't like change. One very on-board supportive friend jumped in from the get-go and claimed first dibs on my clothes. Cracked me up, and she's MUCH smaller than I am. I found the support group for the sleeve here to be one of the most upbeat meetings I've ever attended. I won't miss the next one, and am thrilled to have a new circle of buddies with the same goals.

So I finally have a surgery date (2/7/2011) and I am excited, nervous, anxious and scared all at the same time. I have not told a lot of people but it seems like when I do tell someone, they are somewhat reluctant. They all seem to have these horror stories of WLS gone bad and feel the need to tell me about them. WHY?? I want to do this, but even more than that I NEED to do this, because what these people don't understand is that at 309 lbs I am killing myself. So as excited as I am, I have this nagging little voice in the back of my head asking if I have made the right decision. Now don't get me wrong, that voice doesn't last very long, because I know that this is what I need to do for me and not these naysayers!!