Another Newbie needs advise

[treequeen 13]

I have been in denial about my size for quite some time..but after several slap in the face experiences, I have realized that I am indeed "morbidly obese". My BMI is 49.6. So I have been looking into surgery options.. after reading on here for awhile, I am certain the sleeve is the option for me. My problems now are lack of support and money. Not too many ppl are supportive of surgery.. they (and some of my thoughts also) think I can do it the "natural" way. Did any of you have to get over these kinds of thoughts? How do you get over feeling like surgery is cheating?

I have started the process toward surgery anyway. I have been to a seminar, spoken to insurance and a patient advocate, and will be going to the prep classes starting Jan 12.. that goes on for 4 months. Coming up with the money for my share of the surgery costs and pre surgery diet program and having to wait at least 6 months for the actual surgery are going to be a challenge.

Thanks in advance for your thoughts.

[MicNic 0]

Treequeen,

I, too, was pretty nervous about telling people about my surgery but now, almost 2 months later- I feel like I tell everyone! Everyone at work was concerned when I took time off and because I didn't want to lie to my friends and co-workers, I told anyone who asked and of course- word spreads. I have been blessed with tons of encourgment from family and friends. They can't believe how great I look!! No one has tried to make me feel bad and I guess the worse thing I have heard is- "So that is all you will eat for the rest of your life?? I could NEVER do that". I just smile and say, well you haven't had weight issues like me so you are lucky and move on. It was truly the very best thing I have done for myself and my family. I will start working out this week at the gym and I know that this time, the weightloss and toning is not a temp thing. How exciting is that?? Good luck!! MicNic

[finallyformyself 0]

Treequeen,

I too am just looking into this and beginning the process. I made the decision to go ahead and tell all of my co-workers (which happen to be great friends of mine as well), family and other friends. Honestly, I wasn't nervous because I knew that this was a decision I was making and that if they didn't agree it wasn't going to change my decision. For the most part, everyone has been great. I did have a horrible argument with one very close friend that tried to make me feel I should do it the "natural" way. I can tell you that it brought out emotions that have been buried SO SO SO deep over the past years of being overweight. Although it hasn't been easy in terms of that relationship, I am glad I am going through it now. For me, I think it would be hard to deal with those particular emotions after surgery vs. now. This is just me, but I feel that if someone is a true friend they can disagree but that doesn't mean that they shouldn't be happy for you and supportive in your choice. What I say is that I am choosing to not ride a rollercoaster for the rest of my life. This up and down thing and trying this and that is simply not working and it is now showing up in health problems for myself, both physically and emotionally. My purpose of course includes wanting to look better, but I want my life back. I want to be an active mom with my kiddos, have the energy needed to work a full-time stressful job and live to see what God has in store for myself, my family and my friends. I guess I just finally got to the point of truly not caring what all of these people think. It is my life to live and to serve God better I feel that I really do need to do this for myself to be a better wife, mom, friend, and so on. I guess anyone who doesn't support me in that is not someone I want around me, especially right now when I am needing those that DO support me. Hey, you've got this site and all of us!

Best of luck!

[drysdale 0]

My answer is this...if I could have done it the natural way, then I would be thin by now. Surgery isn't a cure. It is another tool in weight loss. I want and need to be thinner for my health, for work, for my family, etc. All the same reasons that almost everyone else has had surgery. Once sleeved, you still have to follow a diet and exercise program. The surgery just makes it a little easier to control the diet part. Just know that you are doing this for your present and long term health. This is a tool that will last a lifetime so you can be healthy for a long, long time!! I hope this helps. You are on the right track by starting the process.

[meshauna 0]

I am almost 14 weeks out. I have told everyone and even posted it on my Facebook. I did this for me. In April 2010 I was 307. I lost 27 lbs before surgery. Day of surgery 280.4 Sept 28th, 2010. Today 1/1/11 I weight 233. The surgery has changed my life. When I lost the first 27 lbs so many people said keep doing it by yourself, on your own. Stats show people who lose weight don't keep it off. I was ready to do it for good. My insurance paid because my BMI was 55%.

Good luck this website was like a bible to me. Best wishes!!

[klus263 9]

I tried doing it the "natural" over 20 years. Ten pounds gone, fifteen pounds gain, twenty pounds gone, forty pounds gain....and so on and so on. I deliberately did not tell 2 of my sisters (how would they understand-they have never been obese like me with co-morbidity issues). Since my employer covers weight loss surgery-quite of few of my coworkers have done lap band and gastric-the sleeve was just recently approved. I work from home so I really don't see any coworkers. My surgeon's office also has monthly support groups so I get all the support I want and need from them, from this board and from my family. I actually my sisters after surgery and one agrees that this was the best thing for me. Keep plugging away. I had to go through 6 months before approval and I took all the overtime possible from work to pay my portion. Now I am working the overtime so my husband can get his sleeve hopefully in April. Good luck you are making the right decision. I do not regret mine for a minute and never had 'buyer's remorse".

[myrori 55]

Nothing about getting any WLS is cheating! It is hard work and takes lots of commitment just to get it done. Then you have the very real work of facing your fears and going through with the surgery. After surgery you have to heal and adjust. Cheating at weight loss to me suggests the ability to find an easy fast way to loose weight. After healing we all have to make the right choices in food and exercise Nothing easy there~.

[iegal 460]

The real question is where will you be in six months without the surgery? Heavier or lighter? More or less medical issues? Happier working towards a solution or frustrated at being a failure yet again? By the way - what is the natural way? Would you tell a diabetic not to take insilin because it is not "natural?" Um, most of us here have tried the "natural" method so many times that we can still tell you about each diet we have failed. We are not talking about steriods here.

This is your life. Take charge and make a change for the better you. Hugs to you - either way people will not always approve of your choice.

[treequeen 13]

Thanks so much for your thoughts and encouragement. I will definately be revisiting this thread when I need a boost in morale.