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My Story- Diary of a Frantic Mom


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Hello there. I am a mother of three small children (3,6,8) and work full time as a management consultant. I am married 12 years and in my early 40's. I met with a bariatric surgeon a few weeks ago, and he feels the sleeve is the best procedure for me. I have a BMI over 55, so lap band was not an option. I felt very good about my meeting with my surgeon, but my DH is skeptical. He said I had to talk it over with my PCP before committing to next steps. So I did and my PCP is impressed with the decision and the facility (it has earned numerous recognitions) and the surgeon. He also said I am a good candidate for the pro0cedure so we shall see if tat out my DH mind to more ease. He has been successful using Phentermine for his WL, however I tried it earlier this year and had HBP as a result so that is no longer an option.

I have had very mixed support from people for this procedure, and many I have not yet told. I know in my ind this has to be the right decision. And I l feel like it is now a lifestyle change I need to commit to if I even want a life to live. I cannot live this way any longer. Scared to fly, scared to sit in a folding chair, looking for a large seat, having to rent large cars, buying super plus size clothing, The worst is m kids saying I have a big tummy and why am I so big. I see my oldest with eating issues, and I know I cannot lead him sown the same path I have gone, I need to change for them and for me. So I hope I can find some support here and get some advice as I proceed down this journey.

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You're not alone here, I think most of us have felt the way you do, Lord knows I have.

People who don't understand why we want to have surgery to lose weight will never understand the absolute fear that we have of thinking, "Man, I'd love to go to a concert, but I'm afraid I won't fit in the seat", these are the same people who say "all you need is willpower", they don't understand and they won't.

You need to do this for you, the side benefits are for your family.

I'm lucky that everyone I've told so far is supportive of my decision and is excited for me.

don't let them tell you this is the easy way out, it's not, it's a hard choice and hard work. This is a life changer.

Go ahead and do it, I regret the time I wasted waiting.

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Understand completely! Haven't been sleeved yet, working on it. I told a few people at work about wanting surgery. One in particular seemed to believe that I need is to not think I'm hungry all the time. The funny thing is I'm not. I crave all the bad carbs. Which I have successfully cut out two evil's that have been my best friends for a long time. Dr. Pepper and Mountain Dew. Yep quit drinking both of my favorites cold turkey. Their replacement is Decaf tea with splenda. Which has been for five months now. Not to mention that I have cut my bread intake to half of what I was use to eating. I have lost a few pounds. (Not enough to brag about.) With the help of the sleeve I'm hopeful to regain control of my eating habits and my life. So yes I know what you are talking about. Some will never understand what we go through day after day. Wishing all the best to you on your journey. :)

Deb

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I too understand your need (and mine) for this forum. My family and friends that I have told have been very supportive, they love me and want the best for me, but they do not understand. They can't. My best friend is struggling with loosing too much weight. She is now in a size 2 and wants to put on at least 15 pounds. My husband and children are all very athletic. My son was carrying a 30 pound bag of sand from the store to the car recently and then made the comment "No wonder Mom is tired all the time". I did not want to admit to how many bags of excess sand I am actually carrying around with me all of the time. He had a small insight but they don't understand.

Thank God for all of the members here!!!!!!!!!! We have a place to go where people DO understand us and our need for the VSG surgery.

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Does your bariatric doctor have any seminars or support group? Our office has a monthly seminar for people to learn about weight loss surgery options and also several different support groups for the band, gastric and sleeve. My husband went with me for the seminar and it helped him a lot in understanding more. At that time he felt he could still lose weight on his own. Now following my journey, he understands and is now in working to the insurance requirements to get the sleeved also. Maybe taking him to the doctor with you so that he could ask questions. Let him know that you want to become healhty for him and your children and this is best option for you and since your PCP that should definately help also. Good luck in journey. You will not regret it.

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      Hi everyone! I’m brand new here. I just went through all my pre-op requirements per my insurance company and now everything has been submitted and I’m just waiting for final approval and my surgery date. I’ve been doing research, watching YouTube videos, TikTok’s, ect.. trying to prepare my mind and what to expect so I’ll be ready for the surgery. I was so sure and so set and so ready and excited. However, now that I’ve done everything & it’s almost here, I am sooooooo scared! I know why I want it bc I’ve tried everything and I just don’t feel like I can lose weight by myself. I’m tired of being overweight my entire life. I’m miserable, but I keep psyching myself out afraid of GERD bc I know how that can be and I don’t want to have to get a bypass after already gaining the courage to even get VSG. I’m scared of complications like I’mgoing to regret doing it and be depressed that I didn’t just be more disciplined and try again to lose the weight on my own even sitting here typing this knowing in my mind i just can’t and don’t possess the discipline. I’m also afraid I won’t be able to handle the restrictions of the sleeve. What do I eat? I don’t know how to eat healthy really and don’t enjoy healthy food. I don’t know how to do this! I feel so defeated!Someone tell me they felt anything similar to this or am I not ready? I thought I was. I am so tired of being sick and tired and so tired of myself and so tired of being stuck and stuck in this body and somebody different on the outside from what I feel inside. I just want to ball up and cry.
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        Am feeling this right now. My surgery date is 4/1. Sign the consent tomorrow. I feel like I overloaded myself with too much info, too many opinions. Got to the point where I was wondering if I should do this. Then I thought of my reasons for taking this step and that settled my nerves. Still get moments of doubt but am striving forward. Am just going to follow my book from the surgeon. Joined this because I was told by my dietician that I should do this for support

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