The Mental Change

[ouroborous 519]

So, to all of you success stories out there, here's a question: how did you start thinking about yourself as a "normal person" instead of an "obese person?"

Despite nearly losing 100 lbs, I'm still thinking of myself as the "fat blob," instead of the sexay man-hunk (okay, I jest, but still...). So, for you guys who've been through this... how did you do this? Was it just a matter of time? Did you just wake up one day and realize that you no longer saw yourself in the same light?

I've seen a few similar topics on here recently, so I think that this is topical.

[LittleSteve 5]

I don`t feel obese any more and sometimes if I hold my stomach in as I`m walking past a girl I feel normal. Just to be able to taste normality makes me feel good.

[ouroborous 519]

Wish I could get to where you are, mentally! To me, I'm still the big fat guy that all the girls were "just friends" with!

[chilo1 62]

I don't feel obese anymore, just "overweight" and maybe that's only because according to my BMI I am still overweight. The first few times I saw guys looking at me i didn't think it was at me, until I realised there was no one else around. I'm still scared of looking at my whole body in the mirror, but when I do by chance catch a glimpse of myself i sometimes don't realise that it's me, and I even like what I see!

[thinoneday 445]

yup I'm right up there with you ourborous. . .i may have lost 145 lbs, but i still feel FAT FAT FAT. . no differences here. . .Heck I live in San Antonio, Texas, the people are majorily obese here but they are majorily short too. . so stand one next to me and I always look like the giant. Monday I went to donate blood and at the end they always give you a t-shirt, well she automatically gave me a XXL (I wear L) so that didn't make a good statement there. . Yes she changed it upon request. . . Oh well at least i can click the seatbelt in the plane's 17in seat and have about 8 " of belt left over right? Have a Merry Christmas and the best of the New Year to y'all!

[Tiffykins 673]

I'm not sure when it happened for me, but I definitely feel "normal". I no longer see myself as obese or overweight. I'm still kind of weirded out that my jeans look so small when I am putting my laundry away. It's weird to get my jeans, and my 12 yr old son's confused when it comes to laundry time. I'm finally not picking up bigger sized clothes, and haven't really been having issues seeing myself so small. I had an "ah ha" moment a couple of months back when a picture was taken with several of my "skinny" girlfriends and I standing side by side. It hit me that I was smaller than all of them, and even though I had never seen it before that picture is what I needed to realize that I was not fat.

I still have body image issues. I am so ready for plastics even though I know that mentally, it's not going to make everything "right". I'll find something else to nitpick on my body.

[pumpkin07 32]

It is just weird. My frame is getting smaller now, and my husband comments. Definitely I've turned a head or two which is totally awesome. People who have known me a very long time now tell me I look more how I used to look which is nice. But I can't see myself. I have to ask my husband to show me someone that is my size. If I see my shadow it still looks big to me.

I also have an edgeyness to me that is still that defensive fat mechanism or something. I don't feel normal yet, if I ever will. I am still overweight but in a few more pounds I will be normal weight for my height. Incredible, but no, I don't feel it either. I love the smaller clothes, love love love them.

I do think sometimes other people have gotten used to me this way as they rarely comment anymore. I like that, I would like others to forget I was ever fat. This little guy at work, he must be like 22, made a comment to someone that if he hopes when he is married and my age he has a wife that looks as hot as I do. I was like !!!!!!?????!!!!! I mean, he is a bit cross eyed himself, so take it with a grain of salt. But it was still a nice compliment.

And I know how you feel about being given the XXL shirt. Someone actually gave me a Lane Bryant gift card for Xmas and I about died. I cannot wear a pair of underwear from there anymore. It really hurt my feelings, bc it was at work and I had mentioned a Brighton gift, and I wonder if someone thought I said Lane Bryant. They were all so proud to get me a gift I couldn't say anything. But it was weird bc they also got me size Medium regular pajamas, so why the Lane Bryant card? The only thing I could figure out is that is what someone thought I said, or that my coworker remembers seeing me shop there before. She has never been overweight, so maybe she is clueless. Actually I'm pretty certain I wear the same size she does now!. I think I'm going to save the card to buy something for someone else like my SIL, or I could send it to my SIL. But then I feel bad doing that in a way. If I find the receipt at work I'm grabbing it and returning it.

[lissi 15]

Hello,

I know what you mean! I have the same problem! When someone refers to me as being thin, In my mind, I'm thinking (who "me"?) It does not sink in sometimes...I think that because the weight loss happens so quickly, we sometimes have a hard time grasping what has happened...I'm hoping that with time it registers. I look at old pics of me and then compare them to the new pics....this helps me a whole lot...

Take Care! Merry Christmas!

[feedyoureye 3,087]

I don't know you, except for what you say in your posts...or really what you look like except for your face, but I think you are "hot" because you are thoughtful and smart. I'm sure your girlfriend gives you nice comments doesn't she? I think if you employ some kind of self suggestion techniques...perhaps hypnosis or using a short mantra of some kind..."I know am hot and others find me attractive" :^) or something like this, you will be able to start seeing yourself for the attractive guy you are. Make up your own meditation routine, perhaps before you go to bed or when you get up in the morning.. or when looking at yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth. "I know am hot and others find me attractive" "I know am hot and others find me attractive" "I know am hot and others find me attractive" ....before you know it... you WILL believe it and so will others. So much of attractiveness is confidence. Looking healthy is just the cherry on top!

[Rootman 1,101]

It may become very difficult to overcome this as quite often a persons self image has LITTLE connection to what they actually look like - anorexia sufferers are a prime example. You may want to see about a doctor, psychologists are VERY familiar with this issue.

I have an opposite view, despite being obese for over 25 of my 50 years I always viewed myself as being thin - I was even thin in my dreams. I was always SHOCKED when I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror, it took me a moment to register who that fat guy was.

I don't know if EITHER mindset is better as I was always struggling with avoiding mirrors, pictures or even window reflections to keep from seeing myself and being disgusted by what I saw.

If this is really an issue you for you then PLEASE try and consult a mental health provider and see if you may be helped in getting a more accurate view of your self.

[Billy363627 15]

ourborous,

I have been heavy all my life and I know it hurts when people always made fun of me for my weight or when they turn up their nose at you. It really hurts your self esteem and when you get hurt so many times I guess it just really sticks with you and you carry it along with you. I think the turning point is when someone you don't know actually looks at you with interest other than kindness or someone whistles or flirts with you..You have done such an incredible job getting the weight off..The compliments will come..If you have only friends that knew you when you were overweight finds some friends that never knew you were overweight. I try to use my self as an example because I am not you and I don't want to ever make anyone feel something that they don't..Be safe my friend and slow down and take alook around you. Someone you don't know may have an eye on you and you don't know it..