Here I Am

[dlpfiff 0]

Well, here I am. It's hard to believe that this may soon be a reality for me. Let me start out by telling you about myself. I am 38 years old, a wife and mother of a beautiful little girl who will turn four years old on Dec. 23rd. It sounds crazy, but I know some of you will understand this.....I have been on a diet for the better part of 30 years. I started to gain weight when I was about seven or eight years old and have gradually gone up and up and up my whole life. I am currently morbidly obese and am afraid I won't be around to watch my little girl grow up. For many years, I was very skeptical of wls. I thought people who had it done were weak and were just looking for the easy way out. Now I realize that is not the case at all and wish I had started the process much sooner. I just recently heard of the VSG and was really excited by the results I have seen.

I began last January at one hospital in Iowa, considering Lap Band, but decided part way through the process that it was not the place for me. I waited a few months and then decided to start up again at another hospital. I love my new surgeon and am really excited to get this done. I am already part way through the process but have a few things I still need to get done. I am hoping to have everything completed during the first week of January and ready to send off to my insurance, which is Blue Cross, Blue Shield. I have no idea what to expect at that point. Hopefully everything will go well and insurance will approve my surgery quickly. My surgeon assures me that surgery will be approximately two weeks after the insurance approval. I am hoping for a surgery date in February but maybe I am being unrealistic in that timing. I guess it all depends on insurance.

I am sure it is normal to be scared and excited at the same time, and I am both. I am scared of the surgery but feel confident everything will be fine with that. There are two other things that I am afraid of... #1...not succeeding. #2....succeeding. It's strange. I'm scared I will fail and not lose the amount of weight I want to lose but on the other hand, I am afraid of losing the weight. I have been significantly overweight since I was a child and I have no clue how to be a thin person. I think it is the fear of the unknown for me. I have never been there so I have no idea what to expect. I imagine that fear will fade and I will figure it out easily as the weight starts to come off but at this point, I just don't know what to expect.

Thanks to everyone whose posts I have read and whose videos I have watched. You all have been very helpful and inspirational. Keep 'em coming. I love it. I have a very supportive family and group of friends, which I am very thankful for. I don't think I could go through the process without their support.

[MINI-Me 196]

Welcome to the board. You are definitenly among friends and career dieters out here. Please feel free to ask any questions that you have - combined, we have a lot of experience out here & love to support one another.

I totally understand your fear of success. The good news is that you don't wake up from the surgery thin. You have time to get used to your changing body and making this a lifelong committment. I admit, it's still strange to catch a glimpse of myself in a mirror or doorway & wonder "who is that thin person". But, it's getting easier with time.

The best part is feeling "alive" again. No more excuses of being tired and unable to move. I love my new energy level. The pain in my knees has GREATLY reduced and I actually like to feel movement (not that I'm a huge exerciser, but I can run up and down the stairs 10+ times a day and not be winded, go shopping and not need to take a break, etc).

Again, welcome!

[myrori 55]

I have no idea how to be skinny either, but I can't wait to find out!

My current dilemma,,, how to find out what size bra to buy! I have worn the same size for over 20 years and now it is TOO big!

[pumpkin07 32]

Thanks for posting.

I realized one day that I had been fat for 20 years...20 years. Almost half my life. And I was like "Ummmm...SELF: let's try something different for the NEXT 20 years". That is what triggered me to finally give in to WLS. Not that I had been dieting or not dieting, bc I was not a good dieter. But whatever I was doing, was NOT working for 20 years already. So what did I need...ANOTHER 20 years to realize that I needed ummm....some assistance with this process of losing weight?

I was ready! I went to a reputable doctor ready to strip naked and say here I am, what surgery do you truly recommend especially for ME? Fortunately my insurance did not cover WLS so I think that freed up my and my surgeon's brain to go for the sleeve. A lot of people in his office were getting other surgeries that insurance would pay for, while I was able to choose my surgery. So actually for me that was a good thing. Since that time the insurance companies have slowly been coming on board with the sleeve I guess. And my husband changed jobs so now we have BCBS also...so I think wow, I could have waited a year...but I wouldn't change it actually bc I here I sit typing this with normal blood pressure, lower lipid panel, after sleeping well a night without snoring. And best of all here I sit in my size 8P pants, feeling hip bones and ribs and collar bones long ago forgotten...my hair is curled, make up on - I am actually ALIVE! A friend of mine told me this weekend..."you look like....YOU - from a long time ago"!!

So that is what will happen to you...you will get your life!

There are risks, definitely. I worry about long term things at times. But I had long term problems before too...they just will be different. My prayer is any long term concerns/consequences of this surgery be manageable. That is my prayer.

Definitely removing 85% of your stomach is radical, no question. I wonder if it can be comprehended before surgery, bc for me I honestly did not grasp it fully. But then again I had my surgery within a month of learning about the sleeve. I seriously mourned the loss of my stomach, my organ. It was very scarey to me to live without my comforting friend, my big ole stomach. But living without most of it has been a good thing for me so far, I feel full and satisfied with less food. I did lose weight and have not lost too much weight. That is what I needed...less food intake!

The sleeve is a proactive, successful solution to a long term, life-cratering weight problem. I like being proactive, and I was tired of the years of passivity with regard to my weight issues. That is why I took the risk.

That said, I thank my surgeon for doing a good job! All the advice here about getting the right surgeon that has been extremely successful in doing hundreds of sleeves is the best advice you may ever get in your life! When I had my surgery there was another man in my area of town that innocently chose the same procedure with a different route, with an apparently less reputable surgeon than I found, and it is also possible my friend might have overdid it too soon after surgery (his words-not sure what he meant but I take that to mean he did not follow all the guidelines for activity or eating post surgery) - and I believe he eventually died from complications of this surgery. It was unfathomable to me that I was right down the road, had the same surgery, and lived. My heart broke into a million pieces for him and his family.

So take your time, and do what is best after listening to a lot of smart people here. It is risky, but if done well it can be the beginning of a wonderful adventure.