Mother in Law totally AGAINST!!

[Waffleking 27]

Yeah, I'm one of those "extroverts" who definitely processes his thoughts as he speaks. Hopefully I'm a little more sensation than your mom though!

PS: I didn't mean to hijack the thread. I'm personally erring on the side of telling as little people as possible about my WLS.

Yep! I find it to be true more often than not. My mom is an extrovert and I am an introvert (as are my siblings) and we have had some terrible quarrels in the past. My mom has said some terribly cruel things to me & my siblings over the years because she verbalized the first thoughts that came into her head without stopping to think how we would take them. Example: When my sister was a teeneager, my mom saw my sister had a hickey on her neck and her reaction was, "Hickey! You SLUT! What else did you let that boy do to you, you shameless hussy?!" You know, an introvert would probably think the same thing, but end up actually saying, "Dear, did you have a fun date last night?" or something to try to start the conversation out on a better foot. Only as adults did we realize my mom just "processing" her thoughts aloud and she didn't realize we could actually hear her (LOL). Admittedly I have cruel thoughts, but most of the time I am able to process everything in my head and give a more measured response ... not to say I'm never cruel -- I can give as good as I get when I'm in the wrong mood.

It's not such a great thing for extroverts and introverts to live together unless everyone understands how the thought processing works. It helped me A LOT in dealing with my mom and other extroverts in my life (now I mostly either try to drop bad news and get out of the room/off the phone fast, or tune out the initial verbal vomit until the logic starts coming through).

[Kris 78]

Sorry too to all if I got the thread sidetracked ... MommyTawnie it sounds like your MIL is coming around, so that is good. Just stick to your guns and you will be fine.

[kelli 3]

My husband let it slip to his mom that I was having surgery for weight loss. She totally flipped out on me telling me that I can loose the weight on my own, and I don't need surgery to achieve my goal. Then she asked what kind of surgery it was. When I told her the sleeve you would have thought I had told her I murdered someone. She can't understand why I have chosen to have surgery and why it has to be something so invasive. I told her I was considering the lapband, but after further research felt it would be more of a hassel and in the end may fail me or worse require surgery to fix damage it could possibly cause. I have done my research, I have asked every question in the book. I stuck to the 6 month diet which actually ended up being a 8 month diet. I may have lost weight while doing the supervised diet but the last couple of months the weight started coming back. She then went on to tell me I am addicted to surgery. WTH first of all c-section couldn't have been helped. My hysterectomy wasn't my decision it was something that had to happen. My other surgeries were to remove my ovaries because of tumors. I have been through hell and back and still can't seem to loose weight, and now she wants me to change my mind about surgery. It's not going to happen. I have worked to hard to get to where I am. My fear with it all is loosing my husbands support. He tells me he is there for me and is even starting his supervised diet in January for possible surgery this summer/fall. But if his mom is this unsupportive what is it going to do to him when I have the surgery on the 21st? I'm excited about my new journey I just wish everyone would keep opinions to themselves and try to be supportive as well. Will it ever happen though?

I am keepin this on the DL with my own Mom for the very same reason they dont understand and its not fair to you..You need to be happy with your decision and not worry what the others say!!! no matter what they will find fault with what ever you do, If yo dont loose it she will say you are overwieght when you do get it she will probably say you took the easy way out.....block it all out...trust me..you will be stronger and better for it..it is a health issue and she is not a doctor...

[NtvTxn 1,262]

Tell her it's preventive maintenence so you'll avoid health issues in the future and so you'll be around for a long time for her grandchildren. So you won't be a burden to them when you are old!! When it comes down to it, if she isn't paying for it, it is NONE of her business....I'd be real tempted to tell her to bug off if she can't be a cheerleader but my "filter" doesn't work real well.

I'm not totally worried about what she thinks. This surgery is happening I just wish she could see where I am coming from.. I think her main problem with it all is her friend of 50+ years has always been over weight, and has managed to loose almost 40lbs on his own over the last year, but he is still over weight. She told my husband that this surgery is such a drastic measure to take to loose the weight, and that she doesn't see why I am willing to risk my life for a surgery that's going to help me loose weight. I look at it like this. If I don't have this surgery and I am unable to loose the weight on my own "and lets face it I've been trying for the past 4 years" My health is going to eventually get worse. I have 2 young children "her grandchildren" I want to be here for them. I don't want to live the rest of my life over weight and eventually end up with health problems I am eventually going to develope. My family supports me 100% in my decision to have tis surgery. My mom has been over weight for years now, and has tried the dieting/exercising, and it works for so long and the weight comes back. So she knows where I am coming from in my decision to take a step toward actually being able to rid myself of this excess weight. Very few people in my hubby's family is overweight so maybe that is why she doesn't understand where I am coming from. I just know I am excited about the surgery and I'm not going to let anyone ruin this for me. Surgery date December 21, 2010 my rebirth to a newer happier/healthier ME!!

[AutumnLily 77]

Personally I do not believe you have to explain yourself. This is your body and your decision and if your MIL feels that she owns the right to tell you what you should and should not do with your life. Then it should be equal and you can tell her what she can and can not do with her life. Put in in perspective and say that negative comments at this time are to be kept to herself.

All the best to you!

[MommyTawnie 3]

Thanks All my mother in law is actually starting to come around. She volunteered to stay with the kids tomorrow so I could go in for my scope, and she is offering to help my sister in law watch them for the next couple of days while we are out of town for the surgery. I am 2 days away and soooo excited. I can't believe it is almost my turn!!