My HUSBAND told me to ask YOU!!

[hopeandfaith 6]

So last night I asked my husband, SINCE YOU don't want YOUR family to find out about my surgery, what am I going to tell them when I CAN'T eat anything on Christmas? He said, I don't know have you asked your FRIENDS on that Website you are always on!! LOL I said GOOD IDEA! I don't want to tell his family I don't feel good because then they won't want me to hold the babies! I LOVE seeing the LITTLE ones!!!

Also, since he made this comment plus the one about watching the guy after his WLS on TV, I decided to ask him a few questions. So I asked, WHY would a husband not SUPPORT his wife during this surgery. His words.....HE'S STUPID! LOL I laughed and then said well you told me I was a FAILURE AT LIFE when I told you I was going to do this. He said, Well I just thought you should be able to do it on your own. I said, do you support me now? He said, HELL YES! Again, I laughed!!! I know you don't know my husband but this is a HUGH HUGH change!!! I'm SO HAPPY that WHATEVER channel had this guys WLS experience on TV OPENED HIS EYES! In my heart I know it was the GOOD LORD above that SHOWED HIM THE WAY!!!

Have a GREAT day everyone and I can't WAIT to hear what you told people when you couldn't eat!

[bilka 6]

I am getting sleeved in February but I am already planning what to tell people and friends...:evil:

1st option: you might tell people that you got a gastric balloon. It'll last 6 or 12 months and you have to follow a precise diet and can't eat quickly. i amena this can work, it is not surgery and it is not definitive, people shouldn't be too judgemental. Later on, you'll say that you got used to that way of eating and you like to keep going on like this because it worked so well on you.

2nd option: you tell them you found a new diet guru. Imagine a surname, something exotic, or just something Italian (I can give you ideas about Italian surnames, but Dr. Rossi always works). You tell them thay he gave you a precise diet and precise orders to follow. You can add as many details as you like (say that you meditate every morning as well for example). Although keeping it simple helps avoiding contraddictions in the future. When they see that you lose a lot of weight they'll understand why you adore your new dietician.

I think I am going to use option number 2, but I still am not sure right now. I hope these 2 ideas can inspire you...

[Lila21 36]

Will you not be eating at all over the holidays (on the liquid phase)? If so, you can just say you are on a fast. I can't tell you the number of people I know who regularly fast for health reasons 9supposedly, it cleans out your system, gives your stomach and liver a break, clears up your skin etc, etc) . And usually when people fast, they really mean a liquid diet (like they will take in juice or that lemon juice/maple Syrup concoction). Hey, if Beyonce did it, you know it's popular!! :-)

[M2G 1,836]

Depends on if you are sharing only one meal together or if you will be around each other for several days.

If it is one meal, you can always fake a tummy bug, or say that your last meal didn't agree with you (like alluding to food poisoning so you can still hold the little ones without the fear of them "catching" your tummy bug). Or even just say you have the runs and are afraid to put much in there, etc.

If it is several days then I'm not sure how you would go about that. I didn't tell 'some' people at our Thanksgiving table (most of my family knew) but I was 5 weeks out and eating mostly regular food, although not much. I filled my plate with more than I could eat, and yes, it got wasted, BUT I noticed that everyone else was digging into their own plate and they could have totally cared less about what was one mine.

[PlannerGirl 3]

I love the "I'm on a fast" suggestion. I would perhaps alter it a little and go with "cleansing fast". If they ask why you would choose this time of year you could tell them, "I figure if I have the will power to do this now, I have the will power to truly get this weight off"

Then.....when you start shrinking, they'll believe you're amazing will power. The rest will be our little secret.

[SouthernSleever 228]

Tell them you had something wrong with your stomach and you had surgery and your orders are to go slow with food. It doesnt have to be WLS.

[Telisaswan 1]

I think the "cleansing fast" idea is brilliant. I might use that myself!

[chilo1 62]

I had my inlaws visiting for 10 days and they don't know i've had the op. I just said I was on a diet (as i have all my life anyways) and was just really busy sorting them out serving food etc that i think they realised that I wasn't eating much but they didn't make a big deal of it!

[Susanne 32]

In all honesty - and please don't take this as an insult - but who in the wide world would believe that a "fatty" would go on a clear liquid fast on Christmas????

Would you EVER be a person who would do that? And would stick with it when sitting at the table? Again, ON CHRISTMAS - probably everyone's favorite food days where even the skinny puppies overeat!

If I would have tried to sell them that excuse, I wouldn't have been able to keep a straight face myself...

If you feel you have to lie and can't be honest with your family, I'd take the easy route and just stay home. Call in the morning, say you were up all night running a relay between the bathroom and the bedroom and you can't come.

And otherwise, tape a rerun of that TV show and send a copy to your family. If it worked for your husband, it may work for your family too. I think a lot of people just have an initial shock, but most come around seeing that you are happy with your decision and that you haven't taken it lightly.

Good luck

Susanne

PS: I don't like being lied to so I try to avoid doing it to other people :-(

[hopeandfaith 6]

LOL THANK YOU ALL!

I DON'T have a problem telling my IN LAWS it's my Husband that doesn't want HIS family to find out. I've told everyone in my family EXCEPT one SKINNY Sister...only because she will me MAD at me. I have a forum on that one too....Torn on what to do with her! LOL

I thought about NOT going but my daughters pitched a fit! I missed Thanksgiving with them because I went out of town with my MOM!

I'm NOT Sleeved yet but hope to be around Christmas! I do have another question. When you are doing the liquid diet for two weeks before surgery and after surgery can you drink the broth from stew? That would be clear liquid right? THIS MIGHT BE MY ANSWER....just might have to ask if we can do Stew for Christmas!

[JennChap 38]

I havent even had WLS but have told everyone, I figure if they dont like it they can get over it... its not really their business. I dont get the stigma with it?!? How does it affect anyone but you? Plus I know everyone will ask what I am doing and I dont want to have to lie 20 times a day and make up all kinds of shit. I can see though that if your friends and family are really judgmental that you may feel the need to. But the idea that WLS is the easy way out is insane... and further more loved ones should be happy you are taking steps to better yourself? Just make sure at the end of the day you dont feel ashamed cause you shouldnt you are doing something amazing for you and anyone who cant understand that or respect you does not deserve your friendship... I have one friend who makes it clear she is not happy with the idea of me doing this that its "drastic" but if shes really my friend she will stand behind or just keep her mouth shut cause its not her choice and when we care about someone we support them... Even when we dont agree. I hope you have a wonderful holiday with all the babies!!

[TexasT 99]

Yes, you can drink broth, but you need to make sure and strain it. Even small pieces of meat or veggies can get trapped in the suture line and lead to a leak. You certainly don't want that complication or you really will have some explaining to do - ha!

[Susanne 32]

I DON'T have a problem telling my IN LAWS it's my Husband that doesn't want HIS family to find out.

Yeah, but HE also told YOU to ask US.

Now WE say YOU should tell THEM the TRUTH

Easy as pie -- which I still can't have

[hopeandfaith 6]

SUSANNE you are SO RIGHT! I'm going to tell him that TONIGHT! You told me ask and they told me to tell your family the TRUTH! OMG just thinking about it makes me feel BETTER! It's HARD being EXCITED about something you can't SHARE! At least it is for me!!! I LOVE to SHARE GOOD NEWS!!!!

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

I am super happy that your Husband has come around!! It will surely make your recovery a million times easier.

You know, you could always just tell them that you are really doing your best to stay on course during the Holidays. You want this to be the first time you actually LOSE during Christmas. Make smart choices for your plate (if you choose to eat anything). I really don't think they'll think much more of it.

That's how I handle eating situations now where I don't want others to know I've had surgery.

All the best!!!