Am I Doomed To Fail w. Band?

[BeacheeGirl 0]

:help: So, after I have ballooned to a size where I look in the mirror and am so saddened to see this formerly (I thought) attractive lady look like a good year blimp. :omg: Can't fit into any of my clothes, have double chin, no waist anymore, etc. I have heel spurs, back pain, and no energy. Finally after lots of research and exhausted tries at getting my insurance to pay for surgery, decide to get lap band. I then elect to pay for surgery, scheduled date for the 26th of this month, etc.

To have optimum results, and speedy recovery I KNOW I have to quit smoking, I KNOW I should be doing pre-op diet, however I have ABSOLUTELY NO SELF-CONTROL. I do good for a few days, then blow it, smoke a cigarette (i'm not a big smoker to begin with but I have been trying to quit for month's sometimes 3 - 4 days no smoke, then bam, 2 in one day) I went no cigarette this time for 5 days, then bam, today bought a pack, smoked two and just now threw whole pack in garbage and poured Water on them.

Also, for only ONE day I did liquids. Did okay yesterday second day, then came home and had a BOWL full of brown rice with chedder cheese, butter, green Beans and then a chocolate bar (I'm a vegetarian so this is like my favorite meal):hungry: Then today, I say okay, back on the horse, drink liquids and Protein shakes for Breakfast and lunch, then bam, I'm starving so eat a little macaroni and cheese from a fast food place.

I am so miserable and so upset that I'm wondering, if I can't control myself now even for a few days, how can I possibly be successful with the band? Am I such a loser that I will be the one person who only loses 10 lbs and that's it and I will have flushed almost $10 g's down the drain?

How do I stick to anything if I fall for everything????

My friend at work says she doesn't get how I can manage to always hit lofty sales goals and quotas, yet the simplest lifestyle change that I need to do, I fail miserably....She (a size 4, lol) says Alysha, Your probably setting yourself up for failure because you love bread and cheese too much to ever give it up.

Am I a fool for desperately wanting to believe in the band and that when I get hungry I will not shove toxic waste down my pie hole????

[Sedonagirl 0]

Well Alysha, as you know, I'm to be banded the same day as you, but I'm struggling the same way! Although I'm not required to do a pre-op diet, I decided to start mine on Monday... yeah, I've eaten solids everyday since! What I want to know, is if I can't control myself now, how am I going to adhere to the liquid/mushy phases of the post-op diet?

Regardless, I still think we're doing the right thing. If we had self control to begin with, we wouldn't need the band. And it's not like we totally lack self control. Like you said, you reach quotas and goals all the time. Everyone has their areas where they're weak, ours is food. But even Size 4 coworker has her weaknesses. They just might be well disguised.

I hope you won't let anyone get you down, you're going to do great with the band. Sometimes I think others are a tad threatened by the idea of us, thin. Y'know? Like my neighbors love me because I'm not threatening to them. I'm not stealing their husbands or anything, but when I was skinny, I felt like there was more competition with them. And I haven't told many people about the band, but I'm definitely getting negative responses from every woman I've told.

Anyway, after enough PB's, you'll learn not to like bread anymore! At least, that's what I hear.

Good luck to you!

Lizzie

[BeacheeGirl 0]

You know I didn't even think that the women in my life might be sipping a tad of hateration kool-aid :cool:, lol. I guess that could be it, I've only been fat for a few years so maybe...

However, yes, I do reach some goals but I certainly hope that I don't have to have PB after PB before I learn some discipline. I wish it could come from within, like I am soooo close. Why not just hunker down now and get a head start on weight loss? Why sabotage my self potentially with cigarette smoking? I just don't get myself. I look in the mirror and am literally disgusted

[Alberta Deb 0]

Beecheegirl,

From the time I decided to be banded (Dec 2005) to the time I had surgery (Feb 2006), I gained 13 pounds. I hear that is quite common. I even had a huge Pasta dinner the nite before! The good news is, I'm doing great and I've lost 30 lbs. The band is not a magic bullet but a friendly reminder. I am so thankful I had this surgery and I am sure that you will too.

[shackdog 1]

I hope to shout,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,you are in for a huge life change and if you dont get a handle on it now before the surgery dont dont dont dont waste the money or your time. The band is a tool, you must must must use it wisely or you will still gain weight.

I am down now 70lbs from when I started, I did not have the will power but this cost me 21000.00 so I will succeed. You to can do it just fight for what you really want. A new you................

[giveyouthemoon 4]

1) hey BeacheeGirl and you too lizziegrace,!!!! First and foremost: Stop being so durn hard on yourselves! Girls, we have to be nice to ourselves. We're the best friends we've got!!!

2) I *know* what it feels like to be in your shoes. Hell, in order to make the decision to get the band, you sort of have to humble yourself. You have to admit you can't do it on your own. And as pride goeth before a fall...that's a hard thing to do. I suffered with that. And that loss of pride can be hard...and it gets in your head.

3) I cheated miserably before I was banded. And it's fine. And I was still banded. And I've done ok for myself.

4) Part of making a band work is being super dedicated. I was TERRIBLE at reining in my food pre-band but goddamn am I one determined cuss. In fact, my doc said if all his band patients were as determined, he'd have a much easier job. Beachee, since you say you beat the crud out of goals at work I have EVERY confidence in you on this. You got it in you girl! It's amazing how after having your body cut into in order to find help, how dedicated you'll be to making it work.

5) The waiting...oh the waiting...it sucks. Just keep ticking off the days. It will be here soon. And keep fighting those monsters in your head. The demons are dancing full force now, cackling "hee hee hee, you couldn't do it before what makes you think you'll succeed now??" B*stard demons!

6) The band will quite literally CHANGE YOUR LIFE. It will change how you think about food and eating and meals. You will be SHOCKED. But....you will also struggle. I fought, oh my hell I FOUGHT my band (still do actually). I told myself I could still eat a ding dang McDonald's hamburger and after I ate and PB'd for the fifth time I *think* I finally got it. Pretty sad huh? Most smart folks get it on the second or third go. Not me, no siree!

7) Know this...getting the band only works on your body. Your brain will still be your biggest liability in this process. Start planning now. How will you work it when ALL YOU WANT, band or no band, is something you know isn't right for your body? You are a smart cookie, start mapping it out now! You will be better prepared than I was....

and finally,

8) Even if you don't believe in you....guess what? *I* believe in you!! There you have it. Some chick you don't even know, sitting on her red couch in California's Bay Area has EVERY CONFIDENCE IN THE WORLD THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK!! How you like dem apples? :biggrin1:

(PS, I noticed you started the thirtysomething thread. I haven't read all of it but thought I would add...I'm thirty(mumble) years old so you can take my experience as you wish.)

[sisterfunkhaus 3]

I would make sure I could stay on the pre-surgery diet before getting the band. It's very hard for the first three days. After that, you get used to it. You also have to KNOW in your heart that you can do it for at least a week after surgery and mushies for 2-4 weeks after that. I can honestly understand some very mild cheating, like maybe eating 2 noddles in your faux chicken broth or something like that, or maybe eating a bean or two in your veggie broth, but beyond that you have to be very serious. You don't want to get cut open and then end up with no band. You also don't want to PB a few days after surgery while you are really sore and healing.

[Meow=^..^= 1]

I agree with MOON, YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! LMAO omg of course the Lounge Lizards are drinking Hatergade!!!!!I can see your pic, your HOT!!!! Just think of when your down to whatever size you want to be....LOL o yes Haters will be everywhere!!!!! Good Luck You can do it!!!!!

Ps. lol I dont feel 30ish so I didnt read the thread....ok ok I am gunna!!!!

[Teresita 0]

Yeahhhhhh Lizzie:clap2: :clap2: Preach It

I hope you won't let anyone get you down, you're going to do great with the band.

Anyway, after enough PB's, you'll learn not to like bread anymore!

BeacheeGirl focus on the positive. You have made up your mind to do this and you will succeed. You have a supportive husband and you have all of us here at LBT rooting for you. You have done liquids, ate something the second day but then you went back on liquids, you have thrown the cigs away. Honey those are accomplishments, that is a great start.

I started at 459 come on, obviously I ate a whole lot of food in one day. I was not interested in food for the first 3 days. Then sf popsicles, sf fudgesicles, sf pudding and eventually Soup were my new foods. It felt good not to WANT food so much. It felt good to be able to say no thank you.

You have goals in mind, scale numbers, clothes sizes, pictures, being around for you family. Those things right there were keep you going. We all fall down but what do you have to do........

:cool:

[Poodles 0]

I hear we all get the "last supper" syndrome. I had mine for 6 months. Then, I knew it was coming and stopped. We know what we have to do, even if we don't want to. Just do it. I started my "pre-op" diet a month before being banded, and only lost 5 lbs. Had surgery and my liver was just perfect.

You know what to do. You can do it... So DO IT!

[JJinLA 0]

I was banded on the 5th & smoked a pack or more a day until surgery & still do , not that i am recommending smoking - it is horrible for you but it is my addidction. I get down on myself about it all the time, but my surgery went fine and recovery is going well. Don't let a couple of cigs stop you from having the surgery.

[Chelley 0]

Beachee & Lizzie - I was banded in April of this year and I had some of the same concerns you gals do. I'm also in my 30's. My doctor recommended a preop diet of 3-4 protien shakes a day and unlimitted salad greens with balsamic vineagar or your choice of low fat dressing up to 2 tablespoons a serving. The preop diet lasted for 7 days and it was hard during the 1st 3 days. I ended up sneaking in a grilled chicken breast! But after those first 3 days of going to bed with my tummy growling it got easier. My motivation was the fact I didn't want my liver damaged in the surgery. The whole purpose of this crash diet before surgery is to shrink your liver to make the procedure safer and easier. The second motivating force was the fact the pounds started to come off... sometimes 1-2 pounds a day. I ended up loosing 12lbs on the pre-op diet and my starting weight was 227.5. So, on the day of surgery I was at 215. It only took my doctor 12 min to place my band ... 30 min in all for the surgery. As far as smoking goes... I can't help you much there because I've never smoked, but I've dealt with plenty of my patients who have. It is a medical fact that smoking delays wound healing. So when you light up, just think do I want my scars to heal so I can get into a bikini without them being noticed or do I want to be in a one peice the rest of my life! LOL!!! Try the patch or gum... your nerves are in full swing right now because you are questioning yourself. Don't be so hard on yourself. Conquering the negative self talk that goes on in our heads is 1/2 the battle. Will power is a myth ... and if you believe that you can do things by sheer will power then you are self-sabotaging yourself. Instead.. tone down the negative self-comentary in your head. The band is a tool that gives you restriction so you can't eat the volumes you did pre-band. Since the band, I've not been hungry ... but I have had the dreaded head hunger that tells me I need to eat when I'm upset, lonely, or bored and that is challenge. I turn off the negative self talk and try to do something else to occupy myself until those feelings pass. I wish you the best. Don't be hesitant to talk to your doctor about these feelings you are having. I promise, he/she has heard it before ... and you are paying 10G for them to listen to you... right? Best wishes! Chelley

[sheryl 3]

Just do the best that you can do and don't worry about trying to be the poster child for the band. If it was easy to diet, we wouldn't have this band around our stomachs! And trying to tackle multiple bad habits at once in a short time is just asking for trouble. You call it failure. I think trying to do it all at one is gearing yourself up for a letdown.

Rice and bread and Pasta. Once you get the band and are restricted, you will not eat very much of them again. Have you checked out any vegetarian websites for people that have WLS? You may want to check them out, to see how they are doing with eating Proteins, etc.. Here is one link, but I am sure that there are others: http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/vegetarianbandster/

I do have to say, that the sooner you get off of the carbs, the easier you will have it after surgery. When you first stop eating the carbs, you kind of go through a withdrawl. It is MUCH better to go through that before surgery when you can eat other things, than after the surgery when you are on liquids.

But do the best you can and really, go easy with yourself. Do what you can and the rest will follow... Hugs!

[waterlily1072 5]

The most important thing you can do is quit the negative self talk. Talk to your self in positive ways. Everyday, tell yourself you can do this, tell yourself over and over a million times a day, if that's even possible. The key to success is believing in yourself. Start planning healthy small meals and what clothes you are gonna be able to wear once you get down a bit in weight. Don't put a picture of you fat on the refer put a skinny picture of you up, that is your goal. We don't need to see where we are but rather where we are going. Simple carbs are an addictive food it takes time before you won't crave things like bread or in my case doritos. Most of all YOU CAN DO THIS. I know you can, so chin up, no one's perfect don't beat yourself up when you stumble. Pick up your feet and keep at it. It isn't perfect eating that has taken off 37lbs it is continuity. As for the smoking, quitting ciggs is very hard and I commend you for trying. Don't beat yourself up though when you break down and have one. You are trying to make 2 major lifestyle changes at once! Just be kind to yourself, I found that grapefruit juice and cinnemon gum helped me a lot when quitting.

[BeacheeGirl 0]

"2) I *know* what it feels like to be in your shoes. Hell, in order to make the decision to get the band, you sort of have to humble yourself. You have to admit you can't do it on your own. And as pride goeth before a fall...that's a hard thing to do. I suffered with that. And that loss of pride can be hard...and it gets in your head.

3) I cheated miserably before I was banded. And it's fine. And I was still banded. And I've done ok for myself."

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Thank you GIVE YOU THE MOON! That makes me feel a bit more hopeful

"8) Even if you don't believe in you....guess what? *I* believe in you!! There you have it. Some chick you don't even know, sitting on her red couch in California's Bay Area has EVERY CONFIDENCE IN THE WORLD THAT YOU CAN MAKE IT WORK!! How you like dem apples? :biggrin1:"

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that literally gave me chills and brought me to tears as I sit at my desk here at work and read this. THANK YOU.