Surgery and Relationships

[BZButterfly79 19]

I just finished watching this video, being pre-op I am always fascinated by the wisdom and the truths that are born once people shed the weight and become who they were meant to be, her video inspired me and if you are headed towards surgery hopefully this will add to your files of introspect. She really nailed a lot of things. She also has her husband on one of her videos(not this one) where he openly talks about how he feels, great to hear a man's perspective because when you are pre-op you can only speculate.

http://www.youtube.c...u/1/NUfRG_tJliY

[Lila21 36]

Wow, thank you so much for sharing. That was really powerful. I think she makes a great point about how your growth can be tough on a relationship but that honesty is the key bringing things back together again.

[BZButterfly79 19]

Glad you enjoyed, she is very transparent and as you saw has no shame about her surgery, in one of her videos she says that she decided to tell everyone she had the surgery because it cut the gossip right away, people no longer had to come up with theories or speculations she flat out said: "Thanks for the compliment, I had weight loss surgery!"

Wow, thank you so much for sharing. That was really powerful. I think she makes a great point about how your growth can be tough on a relationship but that honesty is the key bringing things back together again.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

honesty is key, imo. Although I don't advertise, I also don't keep it a secret and when a co-worker felt it was okay to tell everyone they met about my surgery, I took him aside and very clearly told him that this was my information to tell, not his. With real friends I have been intimately honest and I'm proud that they have been so with me. One of my closest friends, we were housemates freshman year in college, has admitted that she might experience some jealousy as I start to approach and then eclipse her size. I have in turn admitted that I am really scared that friends will ditch me (its happened before) when I start to be not-fat. She has said she won't ditch me and I've promised to not become an airhead b**ch. =)

[BZButterfly79 19]

Sadly I think a lot of woman have and form relationships based on what gives them leverage to feel better about themselves, hence the search for the "fat friend", I had a friend who once told me she only chose girlfriends whom she felt were uglier than her in case her husband started looking, there is some very twisted psychology out there in this subject, I can see though how not being the center of attention anymore can hurt some women, being skinny in this society has become the rare out of the norm ideology that people love to hate, obesity is a disease but society does not see it as that, it is we are lazy, we stuff ourselves all day, we WANT to look and feel this way...I am excited to see who sticks by me after weight loss that way I get to see who my true friends are and also who is worth my time in the future.

honesty is key, imo. Although I don't advertise, I also don't keep it a secret and when a co-worker felt it was okay to tell everyone they met about my surgery, I took him aside and very clearly told him that this was my information to tell, not his. With real friends I have been intimately honest and I'm proud that they have been so with me. One of my closest friends, we were housemates freshman year in college, has admitted that she might experience some jealousy as I start to approach and then eclipse her size. I have in turn admitted that I am really scared that friends will ditch me (its happened before) when I start to be not-fat. She has said she won't ditch me and I've promised to not become an airhead b**ch. =)