Getting my husband on board!

[natasha3821 0]

Hi all, I am new to the site and I have recently decided to get the Sleeve, and my husband is not happy about it. He feels that I can lose the weight on my own, I am 293 5'8 ....about a size 18/20...I carry my weight well because of my height so to him I am not an "extreme" case. However my BMI is 44 so ...I am borderline diabetic....and have somewhat of high blood pressure....(my doctor said he would like it to come down a little...like 5 points) I have pretty much made up my mind about this, I have a 17 month old son...and while I really have no other health problems now I don't want to develop them. I watched my grandma (bless her heart) suffer from high blood pressure and diabetes, and kidney failure, and I want to live healthier. I want to be here a longtime to see my son grow up and have kids, I just want a better quality of life. Has any one else had this problem with their family?

People think this is the easy way out, but just from me researching this surgeries, this is not easy ...it is ALOT of work!

Help me fellow VSG ers!

Tasha

[brazcan 37]

Hi

We re in similar position.

I am going to have VSG on Feb 5 in Tijuana. I am going alone and against my husband's "will". He also thinks it is easy to loose the weight with diet and exercise even though I have been strugling with this for the past 10 years. I am in peace with my decision and I am doing this for me and my kids. it was hard to decide to go without his support but I am fine with this decision now.

take care

Hi all, I am new to the site and I have recently decided to get the Sleeve, and my husband is not happy about it. He feels that I can lose the weight on my own, I am 293 5'8 ....about a size 18/20...I carry my weight well because of my height so to him I am not an "extreme" case. However my BMI is 44 so ...I am borderline diabetic....and have somewhat of high blood pressure....(my doctor said he would like it to come down a little...like 5 points) I have pretty much made up my mind about this, I have a 17 month old son...and while I really have no other health problems now I don't want to develop them. I watched my grandma (bless her heart) suffer from high blood pressure and diabetes, and kidney failure, and I want to live healthier. I want to be here a longtime to see my son grow up and have kids, I just want a better quality of life. Has any one else had this problem with their family?

People think this is the easy way out, but just from me researching this surgeries, this is not easy ...it is ALOT of work!

Help me fellow VSG ers!

Tasha

[natasha3821 0]

Hello,

I know it is hard when they aren't in total agreement with the decision, but my husband has kind of just said he will support me even though he doesn't agree. I wish you lots of luck with your surgery, that you have a speedy recovery. I hope SOMEONE well be there with you? I think no matter what you will need some help, especially at first. I am really happy for you and your journey for the new you! I still have a couple more apts before I can even have insurance look at everything, so I am hoping by April I will have surgery. Let me know how everything is and goes! Best Wishes!

Hi all, I am new to the site and I have recently decided to get the Sleeve, and my husband is not happy about it. He feels that I can lose the weight on my own, I am 293 5'8 ....about a size 18/20...I carry my weight well because of my height so to him I am not an "extreme" case. However my BMI is 44 so ...I am borderline diabetic....and have somewhat of high blood pressure....(my doctor said he would like it to come down a little...like 5 points) I have pretty much made up my mind about this, I have a 17 month old son...and while I really have no other health problems now I don't want to develop them. I watched my grandma (bless her heart) suffer from high blood pressure and diabetes, and kidney failure, and I want to live healthier. I want to be here a longtime to see my son grow up and have kids, I just want a better quality of life. Has any one else had this problem with their family?

People think this is the easy way out, but just from me researching this surgeries, this is not easy ...it is ALOT of work!

Help me fellow VSG ers!

Tasha

[tracidee66 0]

A few things helped my husband get on board. The first was going to the info seminar with me and hearing from "experts" that being overweight is not a willpower thing, there are real reasons we lose and regain or can't lose at all. He puts a lot of stock in what doctors say vs what his overweight wife has been saying for years. It also helped that his doctor told him that he needed to lose ~35 pounds and he dieted seriously for a few months. He lost some of his excess weight but couldn't handle dieting anymore so he stopped. That caused another little light bulb to go off for him. Lastly, and here's the one that really did it, my health began to take a rapid nosedive after I hit my forties. He got scared of the prospect of me not being around and he wanted the fastest option for me to regain my health.

All in all, I think even the most stubborn husbands will come around once they see how much better we are afterwards. So maybe even if there's no support on the front end of things, they will be more supportive on the back end you know?

Best of luck to all you and here's to a happier, healthier, and longer future.

[circa 333]

I basically told my husband that I had made up my mind. He could either get on board now and be supportive, or deal with me resenting his lack of support when all was said and done and he wanted to enjoy the ahem...."fruits of my labor". He's my biggest cheerleader

[LissyinTX 1]

I have to agree with the last two posts. My hubby was sort of against the surgery, but he was afraid that something would happen to me. He was afraid of what could happen, if I would be hurt worse, etc. He even went to call my mom and asked her to talk me out of it. What he didn't realize was that my mom was behind me because she knew the troubles I have had. He finally learned that things were going to happen with or without his support. He took a while and has lately been my support system. I am 8 months post surgery and have been struggling with my depression and the hubby has been a great support.

All I can say is, talk to him. Take him to the dr's, the meetings, etc. Involve him in it so that he sees this is what you need to do. Have your family talk with him about family health history, etc.

[smkeller 3]

My wife didn't like me being 90 pounds overweight. She has NEVER had a weight problem and eats like a bird. She didn't want the added debt even with my argument that I would live longer - I was 63, and thus contribute all the expense (10K total in Mexicali) plus more back to the family. So, I just made plans, packed up and went. She didn't speak to me for about two weeks afterwards - talk about lack of support! Now at six months I am down around 70 pounds, look better, feel better and she loves it. Sometimes you just have to do what you have to do. I feel lucky that it has all worked out. Pick your doctor wisely, though, that can make all the difference. They are all NOT the same, and it is easy to get sucked into being 'penny wise and pound foolish.'

[WorldTraveler 79]

Hi all, I am new to the site and I have recently decided to get the Sleeve, and my husband is not happy about it. He feels that I can lose the weight on my own, I am 293 5'8 ....about a size 18/20...I carry my weight well because of my height so to him I am not an "extreme" case. However my BMI is 44 so ...I am borderline diabetic....and have somewhat of high blood pressure....(my doctor said he would like it to come down a little...like 5 points) I have pretty much made up my mind about this, I have a 17 month old son...and while I really have no other health problems now I don't want to develop them. I watched my grandma (bless her heart) suffer from high blood pressure and diabetes, and kidney failure, and I want to live healthier. I want to be here a longtime to see my son grow up and have kids, I just want a better quality of life. Has any one else had this problem with their family?

People think this is the easy way out, but just from me researching this surgeries, this is not easy ...it is ALOT of work!

Help me fellow VSG ers!

Tasha

Hi Tasha,

My husband was not on-board at first either. I sat down and made an extensive list of the diets/starvation/extremes I had gone through over the years (since age 12) and the results and the re-gains. He read through that, then watched some youtube videos with me of stories of women similar to me. My BMI may not be extremely high, but I have a lifetime filled with struggles and I'm tired of the gain-diet-starvation-burnout-regain cycle. He came around rather quickly after hearing my struggles and goals and watching the procedure and reading about the procedure. Keep working patiently with your spouse, he may come around. Try not to get defensive, but calmly, firmly re-state the reason why you have decided this is the right tool for you to meet your goals for life and health.

If diet and exercise were so easy, then it would have already worked and you wouldn't be in your current situation. A lot of us need a lifelong tool to reach our goals and thankfully there are tools available.

Good luck; stay positive!

[jujubslim 95]

Same for me my husband wasn't on board he was scared for my safety. After explaining my reasoning and all the research I did, plus assuring him I chose one of the best doctors in my region he came around. Once he realized it wasn't about vanity it was more about health he became very supportive, even started dieting himself so we could get healthy together. Be patient, he just needs to be reassured and have time to wrap his head around it. My hubby has been absolutely amazing throughout this process