Help! I need support

Marlluvia · June 14, 2006

Hi everyone, I'm really feeling pretty lousy right now. I finally got approval from my insurance company and I should be jumping up and down right? Well, I am excited, but also nervous about this whole ordeal. To make things more complicated; my pillar of strength,my DH, is not being supportive about it. He tells me I'm rushing into it and have let the doctor brain wash me. I find those words very hurtful because I have been looking forward to having this procedure done for awhile. I was lucky in the fact that my insurance company approved me within two weeks, which is something alot of people struggle with. His biggest issue is the money. We are on a tight budget and I will have to pay my percentage for the procedure once ins. covers their portion. I am totally aware of our financial struggles, but I may not be able to have surgery after August. My employer is going to change ins., and for all I know, Lapband may be excluded by then. Any advice or suggestions would be appreciated.:think

Teresita · June 14, 2006

I'm sorry your husband is not on board yet but he will eventually. Is he overweight? Do and share as much research with him as you can. If you have comorbidities, explain to him how those can get better. Get a victoria secret magazine and circle some pictures and tell him those are your goal outfits. LOL Let him know how much the full price of the surgery and that you guys are getting an extremely good discount. Good Luck Marlluvia.

TexasTerry · June 14, 2006

I'm so sorry that DH is not a supportive as he should be. You got lots of folks here to support you. You are very fortunate that your insurance was approved and so quickly! I say go ahead - full power! lol! I bet DH will come around after he see's what the band will do for you. I am self pay. My insurance would not cover ANYTHING obesity related. Yes, the finances are tight. We certainly don't have any lavish lifestyle or even semi-new cars or vacations. But, I know this was the right thing to do. I just wish I could have done it 10 years earlier!

I say - Be excited and jump up and down some!!! :confused:

Terry

Woodys · June 14, 2006

Hi:

Maybe he needs to be educated on the lapband so that there is no misconceptions of what its purpose, success, and worth is. Try and get him to read relative information and maybe watch the video of the surgery. He may be percieving this as just another "weight loss gimmick"....find info that will dispell that.

More importantly....find information that will drive it home to him just what will happen to you if you don't have this procedure........what your life, and his, will be like in the future if you remain obese.

Sorry I can't help.....one of the keys to success with this in addition to using the band properly is surrounding yourself with positive support.

Hope all works out well.

Carol

Marlluvia · June 14, 2006

Thanks everyone for your support. It's nice to know there are people who understand what this is like. My husband called me from work and apologized for his rude statement and is going to talk to his boss about taking time off to be with me during surgery. Once again thanks and I'm glad to have you guys in my corner.

lisah25 · June 14, 2006

Good for your hubby!

I was going to suggest you tell him you'd be saving on food costs and that would help.

sheryl · June 14, 2006

I was going to suggest you tell him you'd be saving on food costs and that would help.

I was going to say the same thing! Our food bill dropped dramatically (not to mention my bad habit of spending $$ going through drive-thrus)... You will recoop the money that you will have to spend in no time.

I have been called a "cheap date" because of the amount of food I order. He will LOVE it!

Yes, just go forward and he will get on board...

lisah25 · June 14, 2006

I'm looking foward to going out with DH, and splitting a meal or appetizer! Right now, splitting is fine with his banded self, but I'm still hungry at half a meal. So, we both order a meal, then I end up eating part of his too. :confused:

juliegeraci · June 14, 2006

If you haven't had your DH meet with the surgeon with you, please do that. I found it very helpful and he was able to see for himself and hear for himself that mobid obesity can be managed but not cured. It was really helpful for me. All of the emotions you are going through are normal. I've been banded 8 days and feel great. Best decision I ever made.