Briar's Story

[BriarRose 432]

I started on this journey as a child. "Eat, children. The children in Europe are Starving" ; "Eat your dinner if you want dessert"; and the cryptic "You never know when there won't be enough, eat my child."

You see, I am a product of parents who grew up between the World Wars, and my mom lived in Western Europe. As a Jewish family, the reality of concentration camps, of a forced ghetto, was real to my family, and it was barely 6 years later my parents met in this country (USA) and married. It was only 10 years past food rationing and hiding bread for the children that I was born. You might not think of kids growing up during the baby boom of the 1950's as being affected by WWII, but we were. And I think that is where this first "fat generation" came from.

Yes, I was a chubby baby, and always was a size or two bigger than my age mates at school growing up, but I managed to still be a popular if quiet girl. I had plenty of friends, had mom and dad and a brother, and a grandmother who lived in our home. In Junior High, I was still chubby, and it was more difficult to keep up with my peers in PE. By high school, I was actually the slimist I would ever be, being very active in social groups, lots of friends, and dating. College, and even Grad school I managed to keep my weight in the just over weight "zaftig" (pleasingly plump) realm, where I had lots of men interested, and in the 1970's and the 80's we had no diseases you couldn't get rid of, and freedom to be hippy-dippy as we wanted, and so I did. But my weight began to creep up, and up.

I remember buying my first clothing in the large ladies section in my late 20's. And it just kept going up from there. Yes, I had health issues and years of taking prescribed steroids for asthma that added to my weight and eating, but somewhere between 30 and 40 and when I married and had a child....it got out of control.

I found myself in my late 40's weighing 300 lbs. I was still active. I walked, I hiked, I camped. I kept up with my kid and my friends. Then at 49 the little bits of arthritis I had in my hands and knees went balistic. Everything hurt. Medications, MRIs, and the medical advice to lose weight. So I did. I lost 25 lbs in a year, found out my (now ex) husband was cheating, so I divorced him..... then 25 more the next year. I was going to curves, and really eating healthfully. Then I had major emergency abdominal surgery. The good thing was, that it wasn't advanced cancer, but still needed a few courses of radiation. All self control for healthy went out the window. I was terrified. I did not tell my family. I just did it. We had recently lost my mother to ovarian cancer, and I couldn't put them through this again.....and I gained back the 25 lbs, and then some.....

So here I am. I have spent the last 2 years thinking about it, and doing research on it. I need 2 knee replacements that I can't have until I lose more weight. I am in constant pain. I asked my PCP from my *** for a referral in March. I attended the 12 week class starting in August. I have lost 20 lbs in the past 5 months. I had the screening tests. I had the follow up on the heart test to a stress and non stress tests. I did the lab work last week, a new ekg, and chest x-ray. I had my flu shot.

And now I may lose my job and my insurance with it, so I am pushing like all get out to get this done NOW (or as soon as possible) in a system where nothing moves quickly.

Yesterday 11/17/10 I got approval to be referred to a surgeon ! The one doing them the fastest requires additional tests. I managed to get cancellation appointments for TOMORROW for the upper GI and a gall bladder ultrasound. Once that is done and read, I will (hopefully) get my referral packet sent to the surgeon's office.

I am hopeful, and I am scared. I have chosen vsg because I want to continue to be able to take the naprosyn for my arthritis, and not have the malabsorsion for medicines in the future. My Dad is still alive, at almost 85; and I have a teenage daughter who needs me. Daughter knows about my plans and is minimally supportive. I haven't told Dad yet, as we lost my brother to H1N1 last year.....and I don't want Dad worrying more or longer than necessary.

I will up date this after tomorrows scary tests.

Briar Rose

[MRSKOUBiK 27]

I wish you the best of luck during your journey.

[MS LISA 1]

I'm sorry to hear about your mom, and it sounds like this is what you need is this surgery to get you back on track and to lose some weight so you can stop hurting as much, who knows maybe you wont have to get your knee surgery after you lose all your weight!!!

Thanks for writing, and good luck to you

Keep us posted,

Lisa

[sleeveorbust 11]

:heart: :heart: :heart: :heart: :heart:

Thank you for your personal story! I am hoping that you get VSG and that all of your tests go well!!! I am almost 7 weeks out now and i am feeling fabulous! this is the best decision I have ever made and Im sure you will feel the same when you are where I am now!! Because of your personal story I am planning to write one of my own after I reply on your thread

Thank you!

[Becca 108]

Hi there and welcome~

I am sorry to hear about your situation. Thanks for sharing your story. I hope you are able to get your surgery so you can start a new healthy life. I wish you the best and please keep us posted. We are here for you!

[Bemabound 11]

God speed on your journey! I was chubby from 5 on...raised on Mid-west meat and POTATOES!!!! Now I'm almost 46 with two girls from China (4 and 9) and want to see my grandkids and go to Disney World!!!! I hoping to get my surgery in Jan and tomorrow I'm getting all my pre-op stuff done....kinda nervous....check back and we'll see how we both fared!!!! Tracy

[54AndCounting 2]

I started on this journey as a child. "Eat, children. The children in Europe are Starving" ; "Eat your dinner if you want dessert"; and the cryptic "You never know when there won't be enough, eat my child."

You see, I am a product of parents who grew up between the World Wars, and my mom lived in Western Europe. As a Jewish family, the reality of concentration camps, of a forced ghetto, was real to my family, and it was barely 6 years later my parents met in this country (USA) and married. It was only 10 years past food rationing and hiding bread for the children that I was born. You might not think of kids growing up during the baby boom of the 1950's as being affected by WWII, but we were. And I think that is where this first "fat generation" came from.

Yes, I was a chubby baby, and always was a size or two bigger than my age mates at school growing up, but I managed to still be a popular if quiet girl. I had plenty of friends, had mom and dad and a brother, and a grandmother who lived in our home. In Junior High, I was still chubby, and it was more difficult to keep up with my peers in PE. By high school, I was actually the slimist I would ever be, being very active in social groups, lots of friends, and dating. College, and even Grad school I managed to keep my weight in the just over weight "zaftig" (pleasingly plump) realm, where I had lots of men interested, and in the 1970's and the 80's we had no diseases you couldn't get rid of, and freedom to be hippy-dippy as we wanted, and so I did. But my weight began to creep up, and up.

I remember buying my first clothing in the large ladies section in my late 20's. And it just kept going up from there. Yes, I had health issues and years of taking prescribed steroids for asthma that added to my weight and eating, but somewhere between 30 and 40 and when I married and had a child....it got out of control.

I found myself in my late 40's weighing 300 lbs. I was still active. I walked, I hiked, I camped. I kept up with my kid and my friends. Then at 49 the little bits of arthritis I had in my hands and knees went balistic. Everything hurt. Medications, MRIs, and the medical advice to lose weight. So I did. I lost 25 lbs in a year, found out my (now ex) husband was cheating, so I divorced him..... then 25 more the next year. I was going to curves, and really eating healthfully. Then I had major emergency abdominal surgery. The good thing was, that it wasn't advanced cancer, but still needed a few courses of radiation. All self control for healthy went out the window. I was terrified. I did not tell my family. I just did it. We had recently lost my mother to ovarian cancer, and I couldn't put them through this again.....and I gained back the 25 lbs, and then some.....

So here I am. I have spent the last 2 years thinking about it, and doing research on it. I need 2 knee replacements that I can't have until I lose more weight. I am in constant pain. I asked my PCP from my *** for a referral in March. I attended the 12 week class starting in August. I have lost 20 lbs in the past 5 months. I had the screening tests. I had the follow up on the heart test to a stress and non stress tests. I did the lab work last week, a new ekg, and chest x-ray. I had my flu shot.

And now I may lose my job and my insurance with it, so I am pushing like all get out to get this done NOW (or as soon as possible) in a system where nothing moves quickly.

Yesterday 11/17/10 I got approval to be referred to a surgeon ! The one doing them the fastest requires additional tests. I managed to get cancellation appointments for TOMORROW for the upper GI and a gall bladder ultrasound. Once that is done and read, I will (hopefully) get my referral packet sent to the surgeon's office.

I am hopeful, and I am scared. I have chosen vsg because I want to continue to be able to take the naprosyn for my arthritis, and not have the malabsorsion for medicines in the future. My Dad is still alive, at almost 85; and I have a teenage daughter who needs me. Daughter knows about my plans and is minimally supportive. I haven't told Dad yet, as we lost my brother to H1N1 last year.....and I don't want Dad worrying more or longer than necessary.

I will up date this after tomorrows scary tests.

Briar Rose

Hi BriarRose, Your post jumped right out at me partly because I'm also 54 and partly because I haven't told my Dad I'm having surgery yet. I love my Dad, but he's from the school of though that isn't too fond of doctors and doesn't believe in having surgery unless he considers it life or death. He's recently been diagnosed with cancer and is having his surgery this Tuesday. In the meantime, well last Friday I found out that my insurance company has changed its policy on BMI so I now qualify for the sleeve. I have been doing my research again this year since June and had initially thought about getting the band. But for me, the thought of having a band around my stomach and a port that has to be filled, was too much to deal with. I'm not fond of needles, and having to routinely go in to have saline injected made me a bit queasy. Also, when I realized that the band does little or nothing to affect (or is that effect?) hunger hormones, I was less than thrilled. I know someone who got the gastric bypass and thinking about all the connecting and disconnecting didn't sit well with me. The sleeve just feels like the most straight forward approach for me to do. This feels like something that I can live with and move forward with.

I haven't told my Dad and don't intend to until the last minute. He means well, but his bias is as stated above. I think he round some literature on my desk about the weight loss surgery and said to me "I hope you're not considering doing something foolish." That comment felt kind of like a kick to the gut, but that's just how he feels about any surgery that isn't emergency and life and death. I just feel like I've tried everything else for the last 47 years or so and it's time to try another approach. I went through a period when I thought that somehow this kind of surgery was cheating....you know....anything that helps out the fat girl must be cheating, right? But then I decided just to avail myself of another tool, a more successful tool than I'd tried before. What's the old saying? Doing the same things and expecting a different result is the definition of insanity...and I may be many things, but insane is not one of them! Also, I think that as an overweight person, I've kind of been programmed to think that there must be something inherently wrong with me. I must be lazy, or not bright, or have some other malady that would cause me to allow myself to get to this place. I think as much as I tell myself I'm not influenced by the messages, I did manage to internalize at least some of the negatives associated with being overweight. But, I digress...

I WILL be getting my surgery date tomorrow (Monday) and I'm aiming for the middle of December. I'm back in school and that will allow me to recover between semesters...at least begin the recovery process. If I am pushed to next year, it will be a financial strain, but as long as I do it by the end of this year, it won't cost me additional deductible.....I'm sure I'm not the only one that's playing beat the clock/calendar. I wish you much success in this endeavor and I plan on keeping an eye on you and on your progress. You know, we boomers have to stick together. Like you I'm aiming for 55 and fabulous. And just between us girls, I've been telling close friends that I'm hoping to set myself up to be able to lie about my age and get away with it. Better yet, I hope to get myself together while I'm back in school working on a Master's degree. Once that's complete, I have to be able to sit through an interview and be taken seriously. I think that will be a whole lot more possible without an extra 139 pounds hanging on my frame.

Cheers!

PJF

[BriarRose 432]

Well, I lived through the upper GI and the abdominal ultrasound. The upper GI was gross. I am a Water drinker. We never had soda growing up, I drank milk with a spoonfull or two of coffee in it, because I have always hated plain milk; Water, and we did have juice in the house, but I never really liked drinking sweet drinks. (probably a good thing !) Now, I drink water, more water, and coffee, with an occasional unsweetened iced tea with lots of lemon. So to have to drink a thick gross tasting cup of what looks like elmers glue -- only thicker... blech. But it was over fairly quickly=I was in and out of the upper GI in about a half an hour.

Now, it's just waiting for the test to be read, sent to the *** gatekeeper and then forwarded to the surgeon.

The thing that is making me so nervous is that there is a good chance I may lose my job, and with it my health insurance. And finding a social work job these days is not easy. I just hope and pray for a date that is soon, so that if I have to pay for COBRA, I won't be hanging out for nothing.....Of course, I am worried like heck about my job, and losing it, and the possibililtly of losing my home....seems that the past couple years have just been so hard.

It is almost a year since I lost my only brother to the H1N1 virus. He was just a few weeks shy of his 50th birthday. So impossible to lose someone you love to the flu. but that was what started his respiratory failure. That is one of the reasons I am not telling my 85 and a half year old father yet. Mom has been gone for 7 years, and we lost my brother this past year. I don't want Daddy worrying too long, or too hard. But I HAVE to do this.

I HAVE to have another tool to fight with. I use every ounce of self control that I own to make better choices in what I eat, but I eat too much and I know it. I lost close to 50 pounds a few years back, went from 300 to 245. But that was before my arthritis got really bad, and before I had a bad fall on my knees. So exercising like I was able to then isn't in the cards this time around.....I did rejoin curves, as I did last time, and am working out there -- but I am at about one quarter of what I could do then, because of my knees-- barely walking is the pits.

I so need this surgery to get back on track. To LIVE instead of exist. I have to live for myself, and for my daughter; but also for my brother. To Celebrate his life, to honor his memory. I can't do that when I am so obese and crippled that I cannot do what I want to do in life.

Of the people in my group at my ***, I am the only one who pushed for appointments, who pushed for taking cancellations, calling the appointment centers daily, sometimes every couple of hours to get cancellation appointments, to hurry this up. I am the only one out of my group who was basically done before the classes ended.

I am 54. I am divorced. I have a daughter with some special needs who although she is doing well needs more help than most at 18. I am a mother, an adult daughter of an octogenarian father. I want more in my life. I want to be attractive and FEEL attractive. I want to date again. (I did some a couple years ago....but not now....) I want to take my kid on a 7 day horseback tour of the southern sierras the way I did when I was 20. I want to not kill the poor horse. I want to hike and ride again. I keep hearing that 50 is the new 30; and I was married to a man who wanted me to be fat, to make sure that I stayed home and with him. I knew enough to get out when it started to go sour; and am glad I did....but man, it isn't easy.

I want to interview for a job and be vibrant and capable, and look like I could keep up with the 30 somethings who have half of my experience, but can run faster and jump higher......Just give me a tool to help me get there.

[Garyb_58 1]

Thanks for sharing your story, good luck on your journey.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

You will love the sleeve!

I never did tell my dad. I didn't want him worrying either. I was on the post op diet while he was dying in the hospital at age 90.

Best of luck and I hope you get a surgery date soon!

[BriarRose 432]

Still doing the waiting game for Kaiser to send my referral to the surgeon. I've sent an e-mail to the nurse that is in charge of all the paperwork at Kaiser; just to remind her that I'm still waiting. . . . . of course I know that things take time. . . . but I am anxious and don't have alot of time.

Thanksgiving weekend was spent in Las Vegas for a family reunion. I managed to convince everyone that buffets were not in our best interest, since my 80 year old uncle is a diabetic and he would have to wait in line too long. Also makes sure that I didn't have the opportunity to eat really really badly. !!! I did eat too much, and made a few bad choices, but all in all not too bad. I only had one dessert, which I shared with someone. One meal that alot of things were fried, but that was unavoidable and for the most part, I made sure that I kept healthful eating in mind. Of course I got on the old scale when I got home and had gained about half a pound; but I consider that to be a victory -- 5 days of eating out, and to only have gained half a pound ?! I am pleased with myself.

I'm back to eating my lean cusine lunches at work, and counting out crackers for a snack.

I sure wish that my doctor would hurry up with this referral. It's going on 8 months since I started with this process....and I'm ready. NOW.

Andi