The Mother

[BZButterfly79 19]

Anyone have a mom like mine in that she comes to visit us and cooks for us and if we don't eat...and eat second she acts offended and says she won't cook again(I know LOL). She will be here next year after I have had my procedure which she is not aware of so girls how do I get out of that situation when it arises...should I put the food in a plastic bag under the table? Or serve a huge plate and eat like a turtle then suddenly say I am full after so many bites? Someone in here has had to deal with this maybe even in social situation with friends who did not know about the procedure. How about the Vitamins do you guys keep it a plain view? Kitchen? Bathroom? Shine the light!

[Tiffykins 673]

Multi-vitamins are a smart thing for every human being so keeping them on my kitchen window sill is not a big deal in my eyes. My kid takes a multi and keeps his on his bathroom counter. I would the same, but my bathroom counter is full of hair products, perfume/body sprays, and face cream.

As for eating, early out I did all the "sneaky" things when I was at a social and couldn't eat a lot of food. I would put small portions of just about everything on my plate, and eat what I could. Then I would push the food to the outside of the plate, move the food around so the bottom of the plate would show through, and people never questioned this technique. As for the mother situation, you can just tell her "mom, your cooking is fabulous, but this year, I'm sticking to smaller portions, and making a conscious effort to get healthy. Even though your food is fabulous, don't be upset if I don't eat a bunch of it. I'm really giving this a "go" for my future health."

[M2G 1,836]

Again, excellent suggestions from Tiff.

About food and moms, I know what you mean...to my mom food = love. The more food she cooked and the more people ate, it was her way of 'showing her love' for someone to cook a good meal and have them enjoy it.

That being said, I think going with "mom, I'm doing a new healthy lifestyle and it includes cutting my regular portions in half or less "... you could even say you are doing a new way of eating the involves listening to when your body is FULL instead of mindlessly stuffing in whatever is on the plate. Tell her you've dropped out of the clean your plate club and she should not be offended in the slightest.

I obviously don't know your circumstances, but I think I would find it easier to come clean about the surgery and deal with whatever sorts of problems/feelings/emtions that it brings up.

I told my mom about 1 month in advance of my surgery and at first she wasn't very supportive. Made some comments about the "scary risks" of having surgery, and why would I choose to do this to myself, etc. But I replied with comments and statistics of being morbidly obese, and I found that as time when on, she started coming around and actually ended up being VERY supportive of my surgery and even came and stayed a week with my family while I recovered and my husband worked. I still don't think she is 100% sold on my decision to have the surgery, but in the end it was my decision and frankly my life.

Good luck, I'm going to keep checking back here for good advice like Tiff gave for when you don't want to draw attention to the fact you are eating less!