HOW DO I DEAL WITH MY DAUGHTER????

[branc1 2]

I can see what you are saying in my own situation. My grandmother and two aunts on my father's side were all extremely overweight. On my mother's side when I look at family reunion pictures I see my behind and belly on all of her sisters and many of my cousins. Then I look at my son who is adopted and my grandson and neither of them will ever have weight problems. Its genetics I'm sure and our lifestyle. When my mother and her sisters were young they were skinny as could be. They worked hard on the farm and there were 9 of the. As they got older and life got easier the weight piled on. I'm just thankful that I live in an era where tools like WLS are available. I have fought with my weight since my teens. I'm 60 yrs old now and I have had enough. I am so happy with my surgery;my whole outlook on life has changed. I don't know how many years I will have but once and for all I will live them as a healthy SLIM person. I'm done LOL!...Carole

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Ok so I think I'm on the right track. I'm making sure to keep healthy Snacks on hand. I'm stressing that this is not about being thin/skinny but ALL about being healthy. I will not mention my weight loss numbers in front of her anymore. And as soon as I get more energy I we can go out and walk, hike, etc. The only thing that is not in my control is how others compliment me and go on about my weight loss, but I will try and change the subject instead of talking about it with them. Thanks again sleeve family for your help

[M2G 1,836]

Sounds like you are on the right track! I agree about not sharing numbers unless directly asked.

And DJ, my mom was similar, she is much more petite than I am (I'm 5'6 and she is barely 5'2, but she is definitely about 70lbs overweight) and she would buy something that didn't fit her right and always say "Oh I have a sweater for you, I bought it a tried it on and it was just SWIMMING on me" Thanks mom. Love the compliment.

But she is my best friend and came and took care of my whole family for the first week after surgery. She definitely has a heart of gold, but not always the most delicate when it comes to weight issues. She definitely has her own weight issues.

[Bryn 3]

Ok so after I wrote my post, I had a talk with my baby girl and come to find out that she was feeling really bad about my weight loss (ouch)...but I reassured her that I love her and that I only want the best for her, and that I'm her biggest fan and supporter, and that there is NO WAY there is any type of competition going on here WHAT SO EVER!!!

I have also shared with her in the past that I really want her and I to do more activities together (walking, hiking, etc.) , the problem right now is ME. I'M SO TIRED/WEAK!!!!!! But eventually we will get out there .

Thanks so much for the feedback y'all you rock!

woo-hoo!!! awesome and good luck

[Lila21 36]

Hi there! That is a tough dilemma, but I think you are handling it beautifully! My mother was built very differently from me (model-thin, model-tall, nordic beauty with light blonde hair and bright blue eyes). I am pretty much the polar opposite of that . And while I had some jealousy issues with her, she really made me feel loved and supported, which I think is the most important thing. She also made sure that she gave me lots of kudos for my other achievements (academic, theater, art), and helped me to feel like I was OK as I was. I think your approach of dealing with it directly is great! I wish I could have had a talk like that with my Mom when I was 13--I think it would have helped. In terms of getting healthy, I think it's really great to keep a healthy balance of foods around and prepare healthy meals. Then, it just becomes easier for her to have a healthy diet without it being a huge challenge. Also, remember that a lot of how she feels comes from society and not you. Our society emphasizes thinness and beauty on every magazine, TV show, and movie. It's hard not to feel bad if you don't fit into that very narrow definition of beauty.

[kristykreem 0]

Sleeve 4 Me, you're doing exactly the right thing. My tall, slender mother always wanted to know why I wasn't more like her and it was incredibly damaging. She took my weight personally, as if it were a commentary on her motherhood -- which, after awhile, it was. I wasn't an obese kid, I was just a little chubby, but she behaved as if I were Jaba the Hut and needed to be hidden from the world. Now that I'm older, I see what a shame-filled mess my mom is and realize her psychology has NOTHING to do with me. Still, she didn't do me any good with regard to food and self-image while I was growing up.

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Thanks Kristy! I'm so sorry you had to go through that with your mom

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Thank you Lila!!! Yes I'm always uplifting her and giving her kudos on her singing and musical talents as well (she is my little Taylor swift)