I'm stalled....or stalling

[Fran 0]

I am scheduled for surgery next Monday. I thought I was really motivated, wanted this weight off, was tired of it. Now as the surgery has gotten closer I find that I'm either stalled or stalling. Haven't found a house sitter, haven't purchased the food I need when I get back home, haven't finalized a work schedule. All these are doable in the next few days but why haven't I done them yet?

I went to get my tests done today and canceled them when I found out that the clinic couldn't guarantee the bill would not be submitted to my insurance co. This is a big deal to me as I am private pay and don't want my insurance company to know about the surgery. I don't want to give them any reason to raise my rates. I can still get them done the day of the surgery when I get to the hospital but that's cutting it awfully close. Am I overreacting? Can my insurance co refuse to cover me for any reason because I've had bariatric surgery?

Now I'm worried about complications and whether I might end up in the hospital with a huge bill. My surgeon has a lower fee because he sends his patients to a hotel for two nights(with day visits to the hospital for tests) before they go home. He doesn't offer BLIS insurance because it would raise his fee to much so I can't get that. I checked and his rates of complications is low....but I still worry.

Then I worry about the pain and recovery and is this really worth it??? I just worry, worry, worry.

Am I making anyone laugh yet? I can't be the only one who has felt this anxious....

I could really use some help and a good talking to from those who have experienced this.

Fran

[tiffnie 3]

ITS OK TO WORRY!!!

I was scheduled for my surgery last December, but I started going through the whole "am I ready" phase and all the worrying and sabotage that went with it, and...I wasn't ready. It took me a year and a lot of re-educating myself about the whole process - AND reattending some of the Kaiser Options classes - and now I can say "Im ready!" I have my surgery scheduled for Dec 27th.

So basically, really be honest with yourself, dig around and figure out what the problem is, then you can address it, because it does sound like you are stalling

[clk 3,519]

Take a deep breath and RELAX!

We all find things to stress about prior to surgery, even when we're incredibly excited and ready to make the changes necessary to succeed.

If your procrastination is going to cause your surgery to be cancelled, then perhaps you aren't quite mentally there yet. It takes a while to make such a big decision. This surgery will change your life, and while most of the changes are wonderful, postive ones, there are some negative sides, too. It's work. Eating right, working on your emotional triggers, dealing with the changes in your life - these things are work, and can be a little scary.

In my opinion you really need to sit down and think. Are you ready for this? Are you stalling because of natural fears of surgery, and of change? Is there a bigger issue at play here? There's absolutely nothing wrong with pushing your date back until you have your head in the right place. If you're not ready, the recovery will be harder for you. Every ache, every pain, every hassle of post op life will seem like a huge problem to you, instead of the minor nuisance it really is.

Complications can happen. Be sure you trust your surgeon. If you've done your research and feel comfortable, then you're just having natural worries before surgery. If you don't know much about your surgeon or you don't entirely trust him/her, then perhaps you need to find someone else to work on you.

I know that I definitely worried about complications. I was very scared, even with a fantastic doctor like Dr. Aceves (who has a great track record). It's normal to worry.

I don't know the ins and outs of your particular insurance policy. The fact is, once you choose to have the surgery if you do have complications they can choose not to pay whether or not the bills for your preop were submitted to them. They're going to know you had the surgery at some point. I doubt they're going to raise your rates over this, though. If anything, your rates might drop if you don't have as many health risks after you lose some weight.

I had a smooth recovery. There is nothing I regret about this surgery. Well...I do miss the hunger sometimes. I wish I wanted to eat. And I'm a slow loser - "only" 45 pounds in three months. But I've never lost more than 30 pounds on any diet before - even the ones that dragged on for four or five months. I've never been able to control my diabetes with diet and exercise before. There are a lot of huge benefits. I was only uncomfortable post op for about five days. I'd gladly trade five days of pain pills and discomfort for 45 pounds - and 45 pounds is just the start of my journey.

People that have endured leaks and horrible complications still come out a few months later LOVING their sleeves.

This surgery is well worth it. It was worth every penny that I self-paid, and every second of discomfort. I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Get your head in the right place. If it's the right time for you, move forward and get this surgery done and over with. Trust me, you'll love it once you're on the loser's bench.

~Cheri

[M2G 1,836]

That is GREAT advice Cheri. Truly.

I am being sleeved on Fri. and when I first actually decided that I wanted WLS was earlier this year, probably Jan or Feb. I had thought of it before (it's been in my mind about 5 years now), and even did searches on people where WLS had failed ...and they regained their weight. But finally in Apr. of this year I decided I wanted to do something about the extra weight. At first I called the insurance, then I called the sugeon, and later after many phone calls to my insurance company, I *finally* found out that my insurance required a 6 month weight monitoring process. I was SO bummed. I thought about giving up. Thought about trying yet *another* diet and maybe then if I could lose about 25lbs then I wouldn't be eligible for WLS under my plan. But, the wait time actually turned in my favor. It gave me time to learn about the sleeve and feel confident that I was choosing the best surgery for me and the best surgeon, etc. Now I fully understand the WAIT time because more than anything it has allowed me plenty of soul-searching time to decide that this is really what I want to do for myself. I would highly recommend a 6 month wait to anyone considering surgery.

If you are not ready (emotionally, physically, financially or for any other reason) look at it like this: You can ALWAYS have this surgery later, there will be surgeons by the plenty willing to do this for you, but once this is done, you cannot go back to the *way* things were. You cannot dig your stomach remnant out of the trash and hook it back up. It is permanent.

If you are not ready, YOU are the only one who can answer that question. I think nerves, fear, etc. are pretty normal for undergoing such a major surgery. So you need to decide if it is just the normal nervous stuff or if there is something bigger going on.

Good luck in whatever you decide, we will all be here to support what ever happens.

[LilMissDiva Irene 3,282]

...but once this is done, you cannot go back to the *way* things were. You cannot dig your stomach remnant out of the trash and hook it back up. It is permanent....

Aww man!!! Really??

JK I couldn't resist... LOL

To the OP, I think you have received several excellent responses. I really don't know what else I can add without just repeating everything.

Only you know the answer to your question. Again, this is VERY permanent. Just make sure you are in it one hundred percent.

I myself don't regret one moment, and not all my moments have been that great.

[guest1 0]

I can relate. Yesterday I was seriously freaking out after signing the consent form, but thanks to my husband and this support group, I feel much better today. Try to focus your attention on what you really desire inside your heart, what's important to you, and how you want your life to be. Go to that time, that moment when you said to your self- “Oh! Yeah!” I am tired of this weight and it’s time to do something about it.