I just want to cry

[Amber07 0]

Hey Mr. Tough Guy! In my opinion, we're all here for you to cry on our shoulders, we've all brought our tissues and our understanding opinions. I've talked with many people about this feeling, because sometimes I just find myself crying....well here's my explanation (formed from advice from other wls patients, doctors, and nuts). food makes us feel good, it releases that feel good chemical in your body, and now, your feel good chemical is almost gone. It's like mourning the loss of a friend who always makes you laugh. You'll find your new friend, weight loss! healthiness! being able to fit into booths and going on carnival rides! those will become your new friends, and you'll be very proud of yourself. My advice, would be to talk to someone, one of us,a family member, someone who understands-someone who will let you cry on their shoulder-someone who will make you laugh. You're welcome to use me as that person if you'd like. If it continues, see if your doctor can be that person, my doctor is very understanding-she even was as brave as to give me her cell number..haha bad idea on her part!

I hope things get better pal!

[dalyco 1]

We are no alone... Don't worry I'm feeling the same way.. I had a good cry last night.. glad I found some of these posts, I thought I was going crazy... I'm 2months out and just starting to feel what they say are hormonal changes... I read somewhere that our new pouches are like cybil ... we never know how they are going to be each day..

Sipping on the gatorade now hope this helps me a bit tonight cause I didn't like anything today.. I prepared a few Protein shakes and just threw them out.

[vicki s 146]

wow, this is kinda scary for me since im already depressed, have been since a child, am on paxil and nothing helps completely, my surg is scheduled for 11/1 and im scared of the surg and now the post op...i have the band and after 1 1/2 yrs it slipped in march of this year and hasn't worked since and ive gained 35 lbs back so the doc offered me the sleeve, i was totally excited at first,, but then came the negativity from friends and fam and reading major complications and now this,,,im freaking out, but i guess it is best to know so when or if it does happen i'll know im not alone....hope you feel better soon, big hugs to all...vicki:)

[CraftyChristie 62]

1) I know there is a sticky post int his forum all about post WLS depression, you might find some helpful things in there. 2) hormonal imbalance is super common post op. Hormones are stored in fat cells, so as your fat cells shrink, the hormones are released into your body. My dr. confirmed this, I had heard it on here, she said it is true. 3) you are going through changes, and you are healing, you may have less energy right now, etc.... many reasons to feel a little sad! Hang in there, focus on the positives and you will feel better soon

[LittleSteve 5]

After I lost 20lb my depression went, funny that.

[juliarh 35]

Hi MrHopeful -- I think the first 3 weeks after surgery I was very down and cried and didn't really know what was wrong other than I was not myself. I did read the thread on depression and WLS and that was very helpful. I think it was the initial release of hormones stored by the fat -- just the past couple of weeks I've started to feel like myself again I hope it gets better soon. Please let us know if we can help or if you need another shoulder to cry on

[dizzylizzy 2]

I am 2 weeks out and still have some nausea. However, I noticed that the more I drank and the more Protein shakes I get in, the less the nausea. I have a popsicle first thing in the morning and that seems to help. I find that if I drink right away, it irritates my stomach, but if I have liquid slowly at first, like with my popsicle it helps.

As for your depression, I can relate in a weird way. I am not depressed, but I had a panic attack on Friday. I already need somethign new to wear, so I went to the store. I used to wear a size 18 or 20. So I tried on a 16 and it didn't fit right, but it did fit. So I went to look another brand and realized that I didn't have to shop in the "fat girl" stores or departments. I could look anywhere - in any store -any department. I should have been thrilled, but instead I was overwhelmed. I literally broke out in a sweat, and my heart started beating hard and I had to go home. I then got home and cried. Why? No clue.. My mother laughed her ass off and told me I was nuts..

But we are all going through major changes and we have adjustments to make. Hang in there - it will get better!

[Estrellita 6]

Welcome to my life post surgery Mr. Hopeful!!

I was sleeved July 8, and could have never imagined the emotional state that awaited me. I was fine for the first two weeks, but depression, anxiety, and uncontrollable emotional roller coasters kicked in after that. I lived in a state of fear, agony and despair. I regreted my surgery 100% blaming it for my emotional hell. I couldn't sleep, eat, nor enjoy quaility time with the family. I healed well from surgery- NO LEAKAGE- but somehow everything in my body seemed wrong. I had the nausea, the weird sensations in my esophogus, stomach and chest, lightheadedness, fatigue. I was vigilant with Protein, Water, and Vitamins, but nothing seemed to wipe my sadness or weird feelings away. I was losing weight all long, but didn't care. I actually didn't want to lose weight. I begged God this all be a dream and to return me to my pre-op condition, even if I never lost the weight. I cared nothing about being thin, I just wanted to feel normal and safe.

I reached a state of debilitation three weeks post op. My sister drove me to the psychiatric clinic on July 30 where I was diagnosed with "adjustment disorder with anxious moods," and I was put on tranquilizers- Ativan! All this was new to me. I had my issues before surgery, but never had experienced anxiety and depression this way- NEVER! I was sure I had messed up my nervous system and brain chemistry by altering my body and drastically lowering my caloric intake. I wasn't sure what the root of my condition was, but I blamed it all on the sleeve and diet changes. My mental and emotional states were such that I was sure I'd end up dead or in the nut house, LITERALLY. I wrote goodbye letters to all my loved ones, moved back in to my mom's, updated my life insurance documents, and filled out a medical "what ever you call it document" that stipulates your wishes once you can't make decisions on your own anymore. I'm not kidding, I was in terrible condidtion.

I don't know exactly what caused my condition: hormonal changes, low caloric intake, normal post surgery physical reactions, letting go of food, pre-surgery unresolved emotional issues, etc. I don't know. My therapists nor psychiatrists were able to pin point it either. Maybe it's a combination of all factors. I don't know. BUT, what I do know is the following:

1. IT WILL PASS!!! I am three months post surgery and loving life! I'm loving every day, feeling joyful and grateful. My body has adjusted well to the sleeve and I no longer have nausea, lightheadedness nor fatigue. I am in control of my mind and emotions. I have a wonderful, improved familial life, plus social one. I feel 100% normal, healthy and safe. I've been this way for about a month now. Continue being hopeful, it will pass.

2. If possible, DO NOT GO ON TRANQUILIZERS. Being on Ativan, while it did help with sleeping and anxiety, created additional challenges. This type of medication messes with your central nervous system, and that's not good. It helped with anxiety, but at the same time I felt out of it all the time. I felt drunk, out of sync with the world, and nervous. I still didn't feel normal. Someone on this site warned me against it and actually recommended alternatives. I brought the ideas to my psychiatrists, but she kept me on Ativan. I developled a dependency on it and tapering off of it created another new challenge. Thank God, I've been off Ativan for a month now, and I'm feeling great! If possible, don't do benzodiazepines. If you must go on medication, consider something else, but please not benzos. Do research first too.

3. You MUST find ways to relax. I know we're all busy, but you need relaxation methods to calm your body, mind, and emotions. Some that helped me were breathing exercises, walking, journaling, praying, spiritual fellowships, talking, reaching out, self help CDs, and books. These got me through the roughest Patches and are now part of my daily life. Try something similar, or what ever works for you.

4. REACH OUT to people, positive people. This site is a great resource. People just let you vent, without judgment. Everyone is so supportive and optimistic. I reached out to a few seniors here and these graciously and generously listened, referred me to people who had similar experiences, and offered words of encouragement. Knowing that I was not alone in this made a world of a difference. I'm one that prefers to shut up and suck it up because I don't like to burden people or be needy. Well, that's all gone. We need to advocate for ourselves and this is one way of doing it. I also recommend support groups and therapy. Reach out MrHopeful. I'm here and so is everyone else who's had a taste of the ups and downs of obesity, surgery, and life after.

I'm proud of you for posting this thread. You are not alone. Keep up the hopefulness, and believe me: YOU WILL BE OK. God bless you!

Maria

[MrHopeful 0]

Welcome to my life post surgery Mr. Hopeful!!

I was sleeved July 8, and could have never imagined the emotional state that awaited me. I was fine for the first two weeks, but depression, anxiety, and uncontrollable emotional roller coasters kicked in after that. I lived in a state of fear, agony and despair. I regreted my surgery 100% blaming it for my emotional hell. I couldn't sleep, eat, nor enjoy quaility time with the family. I healed well from surgery- NO LEAKAGE- but somehow everything in my body seemed wrong. I had the nausea, the weird sensations in my esophogus, stomach and chest, lightheadedness, fatigue. I was vigilant with Protein, Water, and Vitamins, but nothing seemed to wipe my sadness or weird feelings away. I was losing weight all long, but didn't care. I actually didn't want to lose weight. I begged God this all be a dream and to return me to my pre-op condition, even if I never lost the weight. I cared nothing about being thin, I just wanted to feel normal and safe.

I reached a state of debilitation three weeks post op. My sister drove me to the psychiatric clinic on July 30 where I was diagnosed with "adjustment disorder with anxious moods," and I was put on tranquilizers- Ativan! All this was new to me. I had my issues before surgery, but never had experienced anxiety and depression this way- NEVER! I was sure I had messed up my nervous system and brain chemistry by altering my body and drastically lowering my caloric intake. I wasn't sure what the root of my condition was, but I blamed it all on the sleeve and diet changes. My mental and emotional states were such that I was sure I'd end up dead or in the nut house, LITERALLY. I wrote goodbye letters to all my loved ones, moved back in to my mom's, updated my life insurance documents, and filled out a medical "what ever you call it document" that stipulates your wishes once you can't make decisions on your own anymore. I'm not kidding, I was in terrible condidtion.

I don't know exactly what caused my condition: hormonal changes, low caloric intake, normal post surgery physical reactions, letting go of food, pre-surgery unresolved emotional issues, etc. I don't know. My therapists nor psychiatrists were able to pin point it either. Maybe it's a combination of all factors. I don't know. BUT, what I do know is the following:

1. IT WILL PASS!!! I am three months post surgery and loving life! I'm loving every day, feeling joyful and grateful. My body has adjusted well to the sleeve and I no longer have nausea, lightheadedness nor fatigue. I am in control of my mind and emotions. I have a wonderful, improved familial life, plus social one. I feel 100% normal, healthy and safe. I've been this way for about a month now. Continue being hopeful, it will pass.

2. If possible, DO NOT GO ON TRANQUILIZERS. Being on Ativan, while it did help with sleeping and anxiety, created additional challenges. This type of medication messes with your central nervous system, and that's not good. It helped with anxiety, but at the same time I felt out of it all the time. I felt drunk, out of sync with the world, and nervous. I still didn't feel normal. Someone on this site warned me against it and actually recommended alternatives. I brought the ideas to my psychiatrists, but she kept me on Ativan. I developled a dependency on it and tapering off of it created another new challenge. Thank God, I've been off Ativan for a month now, and I'm feeling great! If possible, don't do benzodiazepines. If you must go on medication, consider something else, but please not benzos. Do research first too.

3. You MUST find ways to relax. I know we're all busy, but you need relaxation methods to calm your body, mind, and emotions. Some that helped me were breathing exercises, walking, journaling, praying, spiritual fellowships, talking, reaching out, self help CDs, and books. These got me through the roughest Patches and are now part of my daily life. Try something similar, or what ever works for you.

4. REACH OUT to people, positive people. This site is a great resource. People just let you vent, without judgment. Everyone is so supportive and optimistic. I reached out to a few seniors here and these graciously and generously listened, referred me to people who had similar experiences, and offered words of encouragement. Knowing that I was not alone in this made a world of a difference. I'm one that prefers to shut up and suck it up because I don't like to burden people or be needy. Well, that's all gone. We need to advocate for ourselves and this is one way of doing it. I also recommend support groups and therapy. Reach out MrHopeful. I'm here and so is everyone else who's had a taste of the ups and downs of obesity, surgery, and life after.

I'm proud of you for posting this thread. You are not alone. Keep up the hopefulness, and believe me: YOU WILL BE OK. God bless you!

Maria

Thank you so much for the post!!

[pumpkin07 32]

Maybe consider upping your Vitamin D. When I don't take enough I feel sad. Can't hurt. Also maybe consider running blood work soon to check levels. Sounds physical

[hopeandfaith 6]

I haven't had my VGS surgery yet but I have had 8 surgeries for Kidney stones. I think a lot of your feeling depressed is from NOT feeling like yourself. I know I was always DOWN because I wanted to JUMP back into my life but you don't feel the same...there is a pain, a difference. Drinking plenty of Water will make you feel better. I've ALWAYS been told Water IS SO IMPORTANT!!! Here is an article of what water is important for. I hope this HELPS!!!

Your body is estimated to be about 60 to 70 percent water. Blood is mostly water, and your muscles, lungs, and brain all contain a lot of water. Your body needs water to regulate body temperature and to provide the means for nutrients to travel to all your organs. Water also transports oxygen to your cells, removes waste, and protects your joints and organs.

[settebee 11]

Mr.Hopeful, oh! I know how you feel. I felt terrible for the first 4-5 weeks out. I finally went back to work last week. I was a bit nervous going back to work bc I was still feeling weak and tired. With the great support from my co-workers, I did amazing! Everything is getting better day by day. Last night was the first time I sat down and ate a real meal with my family! I made healthy chili and was able to eat about 4 oz of it. That was the best feeling in the world, and it gave me hope that things are getting better. Hang in there! It does get better!!

[MrHopeful 0]

Mr.Hopeful, oh! I know how you feel. I felt terrible for the first 4-5 weeks out. I finally went back to work last week. I was a bit nervous going back to work bc I was still feeling weak and tired. With the great support from my co-workers, I did amazing! Everything is getting better day by day. Last night was the first time I sat down and ate a real meal with my family! I made healthy chili and was able to eat about 4 oz of it. That was the best feeling in the world, and it gave me hope that things are getting better. Hang in there! It does get better!!

Thank you for the encouragement.