Dear AbbyKat...

K@t · June 11, 2006

Ok, due to popular request, Dear AbbyKat is back. Please feel free to PM me with your problems and I shall respond! :clap2:

*Note: This thread is for fun, and is not in any way to be confused for "real" help.

NJChick · June 11, 2006

Oh Heather, your such a goober ROFLMFAO !!!

K@t · June 11, 2006

hehe, well what the people want, the people get!

K@t · June 12, 2006

Dear AbbyKat,

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for 8 months. Things are going great and we are starting to talk about the possibility of a future together. There is just one problem. He smokes. I can't stand it, I hate the smell, I hate the smoke, I hate everything about it. I make him carry around a pack of gum to chew after he smokes to get rid of that nasty ashtray mouth. What do you think? Is this going to be a problem for us in the future?

Smoked out

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Dear Smoked out,

Relationships have broke up over less, and people have stayed together over quiet a bit more then this. Perhaps you can compromise and he can agree to only smoke outside, or cut down on the amount he smokes a day. Or if he is open to the idea, possible begin trying to quit? You have to ask yourself if this a deal breaker for you, or if his good qualities out weigh this bad one.

K@t · June 12, 2006

Dear AbbyKat,

I have 2 children ages 5 and 7. My best friend has 3 children ages 4, 7, and 9. Neither of us work and we like to spend time together during the week. She usually brings her youngest child over with her because he's not in day care yet. While I love kids and I think hers are well behaved, she lets this youngest one get away with murder! He is constantly breaking my own children's things and making messes in my house. She apologizes, but as of yet has made no effort to replace the broken items or to pay for the damaged caused by his messes. What is a tactful way to bring this up with my friend?

CA

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Dear CA,

This is a difficult situation because whatever you say may offend your friend either way. Mothers are fiercely defensive of their own children. The best thing to do is begin with a compliment about how well behaved her older 2 are, and then work into telling her your kids really miss playing with X toy because it was broken, and maybe mention you had to spend X dollars on having the carpet cleaned last time she was over with her youngest. If she doesn't take the hint, then honesty is always the best policy. Tell her sweetly and politely that you love her company but that you can't afford it any more unless she offers to pay for the damage caused by her son.

K@t · June 12, 2006

Dear Abbykat,

Me and my husband met and after a very quick whirlwind we married less then 6 months after meeting. There was pressure to marry from different things ( not pregnancy). Though I love this man a lot I just don't feel spark there like I have in past relationships. He's a lot younger then I am also and sometimes I just feel like he doesn't understand me.

He's very good to me, doesn't abuse me in any way and would never go out of his way to hurt me. I just find myself not very excited to get home to see him. Our sex life is decent. No complaints there.

I find myself lately having very detailed dreams about marrying other men. Men I don't know and have never seen and I find myself very disappointed when I wake up. Maybe it's the fact that my husband isn't very affectionate and I'm a very affectionate person? I don't know. He also seems rather self centered.

The past two years he forgot my birthday even though his sister kept reminding him. On my birthday he went out and spent over $100 on a new gun for hunting and I didn't even get a card. Am I doomed? I just am scared that maybe my marriage is heading to unhappyland. What do you think? Am I crazy?

Bored with my 2 year marriage

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Dear Bored,

Have you talked to your husband and asked how he feels? Does he feel that the "spark" is gone also. The first step, I think, is to open some communication up and have a real heart to heart. If you feel you can't open up to him alone then marriage counseling may be the way to go to get to the bottom of it. By getting to the bottom of both of your feelings, you should be able to decide what is best for the both of you.

PS. I know I would be hurt if my husband forgot my birthday, but isn't that the cliché? That husbands always forget their wives birthdays and anniversaries?