Scared of failure

chilo1 · October 7, 2010

I hate the new VSG Forum, so i'm gonna starting posting on here(myfatsecret, copied and paste), at least for myself. I'm feeling very discouraged, eating habits getting messy again (you'll see if you look at my food diary) calories and carbs going up instead of down, the only thing I'm keeping on track is my exercise routine! Help! I can't give up now, still have halfway to go, I'm worried that I'm going to fail again, what's wrong with me! For the first time since having surgery 9 weeks ago I'm having negative feelings, of failure, anxiety (my 12 yr old daughter is away this week for the first time, maybe that has something to do with all this??) Can somebody please tell me what to do, calories are up to around 1000 in the last couple of days and carbs 90+. I think I need to pull myself together and recieve a big kick in the ass!!

Keys Pirate · October 7, 2010

I hate the new VSG Forum, so i'm gonna starting posting on here(myfatsecret, copied and paste), at least for myself. I'm feeling very discouraged, eating habits getting messy again (you'll see if you look at my food diary) calories and carbs going up instead of down, the only thing I'm keeping on track is my exercise routine! Help! I can't give up now, still have halfway to go, I'm worried that I'm going to fail again, what's wrong with me! For the first time since having surgery 9 weeks ago I'm having negative feelings, of failure, anxiety (my 12 yr old daughter is away this week for the first time, maybe that has something to do with all this??) Can somebody please tell me what to do, calories are up to around 1000 in the last couple of days and carbs 90+. I think I need to pull myself together and recieve a big kick in the ass!!

Ok Chilo, deep breath. Like Tiff counseled me when I was about where you were - you're getting back to life and just living and what you are going through now is totally normal. It's easier to eat and it's more difficult to keep it under control - BUT - it's sooooo much easier to keep it under control now, right? I mean, 1000 calories - that's nothing!! I'm at about 1500-1600/day and still losing albeit very slowly. The only tiny red flag I see in your post is the carbs - 90 is a bit high if you're watching carbs; I suggest if you're going to tweak anything, that's your target. Keep logging your food/exercise as tedious as it gets. I do the same on myfitnesspal.com still and have no plans to stop although some days I really have to force myself. Another nice thing is you mention "giving up" - well, in my opinion with the sleeve, that's almost impossible with the great restriction we have. Yes, we could graze ourselves fat again, but really? To me that would take too much effort! Lol!!

So you're about half way through your total loss and I can tell you, the first half goes a WHOLE lot faster than the second half but we are learning soooo much in the process and getting ready to make this a lifelong thing - your body is figuring all this out too. Give yourself a break, chin up and keep on keeping on, you're going to be just fine.

C

Tiffykins · October 7, 2010

You won't be a failure unless you choose to fail. My advice is to nix the negative, refuse to accept failure, and choose SUCCESS.

If you can, identify your trigger foods, and kick them to the curb. Carbs are evil little boogers through the losing phase. I can tell you that the further out you get, the more difficult making the "best" decision gets. BUT, if you can put yourself FIRST, you can make the best choice when it comes to what you put in your mouth. Your halfway to goal, look at far you've come, Celebrate that success and stay the course.

With all of our past failures, it's difficult to believe that we can actually achieve our goal. The sleeve is going to work for you.

If you want to get back on track with food choices, go back to the basics. Stock your pantry/purse with healthy/protein packed choices to avoid the temptation to grab a slider food, or carby monster. Schedule your meals, drink more fluids, stay the course and don't give up on yourself! ! !

chilo1 · October 7, 2010

Thanks girls, back on track again(i hope) went to get my deli chicken which means I eat a bit before starting to cook for the family so I'm already full. I used to do that a lot and when Tffy said stock w Protein packed foods I realised I hadn't got my chicken for the last week or so and that's what usually stops me from grazing on high carb slider junk!!

juliarh · October 7, 2010

Hey Chilo! I was thinking about you today when I was walking around the Parque de Salud (right close to my house -- so you know where I live now ) -- I'm so sorry you're feeling down. Here's what occurred to me about the carbs -- you know chipa and sopa paraguaya, right?? Carb nightmare, right?? Well, I told myself that if I NEVER eat them, I will never want them. And that's the thing about food. We all have memories of what we like and what we don't like to eat. For example, when I was on the mushy diet, I cried because nothing I *used* to like tasted good anymore -- it didn't mesh with my memory of it. And that actually, is kind of a good thing. I think that along with the sleeve, we have to consciously choose what food we want to have around us -- like me not choosing to eat chipa and sopa paraguaya. I KNOW that as soon as I taste even a crumb I'd want it all the time. So, since I don't know what they taste like, I don't want them.

And same thing with my "new" tastebuds. I don't know what I'm gonna like -- right now I can eat surubi and tuna and chicken -- that's what I like. I like surubi the best. So I eat a lot of it. I am consciously choosing not to introduce myself to bread, rice, and mashed potatoes. In my memory, I LOVE them. But I'm not so sure right now and what better time to eradicate them from my life?? And last night, my husband was watching a futbal game and eating cashews. I love cashews (or I think I do). And he's munching and munching. I can't tell you how I wanted to reach over and grab a handful for myself. I finally had to tell him he couldn't eat them in front of me or I would eat them.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that we all are in this huge adventure together -- we KNOW what we have to do, but we have to consciously choose to do it right every day, every minute. It's almost as if we are in our own form of AA -- we are food addicts (some of us -- I know I am) and we need to choose consciously not to be. That's ok -- we have a great tool, our sleeve!

Don't give up on yourself, because we're not going to give up on you -- chin up, you can do this!! Hugss!! brazos!!!

chilo1 · October 7, 2010

Awwwwwww Julia thanks for your kind words! Tears to my eyes just thinking about Paraguay, Parque de la Salud, Sopa Paraguaya, Chipa Guazu, mandioca yummmmm...Yeah I know i'd better cut crappy carbs out completely and only go for the good stuff. So you're enjoying living in Asuncion I gather? Not too hot yet? Where are you from in the States? You never told me where you had your op? How did you find hospitals and stuff in PY?? Just curious to know what you think! Did you learn to speak Guarani yet? For how long are you staying in Asuncion? A shame we're not going this year we could of met up, maybe next year when we're both skinny if you're still there? Hus to you!

Rose Marie