I'm not telling another person about my sleeve!!!

[meshauna 0]

I told everyone. I even posted it on my Facebook. This was about me. I never wanted anyone to think how did you do it ask me for advise and me not tell them exactly how I did it. I tell anyone who wants to hear I did my 1200 calories, then 800, then had surgery. I told them I had to lose the first 30lbs before they would even do surgery. I don't mind if people talk or not this was never about anyone else. This has always been about me getting my health and body back to a place where I feel healthy and secure. I have had the you're losing so much weight why don't you just do it on your own. I let them know I'm giving myself my second chance. More so than not my co-workers, friends, bosses and framily have been so supportive. I was just sleeved Sept 28th and have never had so many emails, texts amd posts asking how I am. I realize they may be talking behind my back, but again I know how people are so I don't care.

[newmoo 0]

I started this journey with my husband and he has been very supportive during all the doctors visits, nutrionist etc. Now that I have a date this surgery has become more real to me, so I decide to tell my bestfriend, two good friends who are also co-workers. My best friend was very happy for me and she told me she's a little jealous (we both have been trying for over 2 yrs to get sleeved) I know she will give me support through this whole process. My two co-workers a totally different story, one started giving me diet tips and new excercises that I could do to loss the weight then she brought up my weight loss 3 yrs ago and said "if you did it then you can do it again." My second co-worker whom I also consider a friend basically said I was taking the easy way and that hard work makes you feel better about achieveing your weight loss goal. I nicely explained that their OPINIONS were heard but I did not agree with any of it and I will make sure I will keep all of the next steps of my journey to myself.

Why are people still in the dark in regards to obesity? Most obese people are not lazy, and they are not looking for a quick fix but a solution to all the other health problems that comes form being obese. Weight Loss surgery is not and will not ever be the easy way out it's a hard journey with healthy you at the end.

Thanks for letting me vent, also I'm not loving the new site set up.

[newmoo 0]

I had my procedure done in Mexico last Friday, Oct. 1st. I go back to work this coming Monday. Before I left work it was the elephant in the living room. People felt awkward about asking questions or even bringing up the subject. Like I was going away to be executed for a horrendous crime or something. My tiny little 110 pound filipino boss counseled me on the ways of fixing my mind before fixing my body. My sister told me that I will be "stretching this out" anyway and will be right back to where I started. Then there was the Mexico issue. As though I were riding in on a burro and having savages butcher me with filthy 16th century utensils. Ignorance. Prejudice. Jealousy. Yes, it brought me down. My sister, in particular still is bringing me down. But it was performed. 8 days post-op, (or actually 7 days and some hours post-op) I am down 14 pounds. I'm healing up nicely. My knees already feel better. I haven't panted since I've been home. Don't let the turkeys keep you from soaring like an eagle. Most likely these are thin people who have never struggled and fat people who are jealous of your initiative.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

... I told her I hoped she had that same attitude about people who get cancer from smoking or have heart attacks from eating fatty food. If someone's got a problem with what I'm doing, I have no problem being a bitch and getting them to keep their opinions to themselves. In fact, I've kind of been enjoying doing it.

Krista

You guys are killing me! I have to agree. I think I will probably blab to everyone. Im also sure I will have to come up with some coping mechanism for the idiots too. I know there are so many people who have been helped by this surgery, who are hiding out there... and I totally support them in their decision to hide out. Its not anyones business. However, I see so many people who are suffering from the fat...and the predigous and don't really know the truth about WLS...I guess Ill do what I do...hopefully I won't regret speeking up to much!

[CraftyChristie 62]

I told everyone. I even posted it on my Facebook. This was about me. I never wanted anyone to think how did you do it ask me for advise and me not tell them exactly how I did it.

This is most similar to my approach as well. I haven't kept it from anyone and I posted it on Facebook, and I continue to post my monthly stats updates on Facebook as well. Many people are supportive and luckily the ones who aren't don't say much. I had a few people I felt I had to 'defend' myself too. Surprisingly, the naturally thin people have been supportive. They realize they can't understand what I'm going through. It's those who have "struggled" with weight loss (I'm talking 10-20 lbs) that feel they can have an opinion. I did this and I lost the weight, I did that and I lost the weight... you can too. Sorry but losing 20 lbs is NOT anywhere near the same as losing 150 lbs. I tell them, I've lost 40 or 50 lbs about TEN times before. Yes I can do it. But I can't maintain it long term and keep it off. My body fights me tooth and nail. I explain that I know how to have the right habits, otherwise I never could have lost 40 or 50 lbs before....so that I will be doing those things with surgery as a tool, a helper, and it's not easy or a quick fix, that I still have to put in all the work if I want to be successful long term. I politely tell them that losing more than 100 lbs is NOT something they can understand... that it isn't their fault that they can't understand, but to please realize that they don't understand. I also shared the statistics from my surgeon, that if you have more than 100 lbs to lose you have less than a 2% chance of doing it on your own with long term success, even combining nutrition, exercise, meds and psychological therapy. Sharing all of these things SEEMS to give them a new perspective. I say you don't have to agree with me, but I know this is best for me so let's just live and let live.

As for the other part - post op - I still don't keep it a secret. I feel like if I say "I watch what I eat, high Protein low carb, and I exercise 5 days a week" - yes these things are true, and it would be okay to say that, BUT... what is that going to do to the other person? Most people out there do want to lose weight so that might make them think 'she lost 90 lbs like that, i should be able to do it too. I'm such a failure because I can't".... the LAST thing I would EVER want to be a part of is perpetuating this false belief that you are a failure for not being able to do it on your own. Not that I want to tell everyone else to have surgery... but I don't want them to think that I am somehow better or more successful than they are. I want to let them know I had this tool to help me. If that backfires on me and makes them think I cheated or took the easy way, that's fine... I would rather that then to make someone feel worse about themselves.

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Thats pretty much how I think about it too. I understand when others say "Its none of their business". I also really appreciate all the openness that others with the surgery have show me. I have had a few people (really very few) who have said to me "You look fine, you don't need to do that", I tell them, its not about how I look, its about my health. 5 Drs have approved this. I even had one nurse tell me that I didn't look like I needed to lose that much weight. Mostly people are curious and/or tell me its my body and they think I a smart enough to make my own decisions what to do with it. Many are supportive. A few want to know more... and might consider surgery for themselves too.

[emme2009 4]

The biggest lesson I learned with the whole "tell or don't tell" scenario is that you cannot UNTELL someone. Once it's out, it's there so it is important to choose wisely who you tell and to think about the decision to "tell or not tell" ahead of time.

I first had to come to grips with the decision within myself then I discussed it with my husband. I knew at that point that I would tell my sisters (one who had already had RNY and 2 others who would benefit from the sleeve and were/are bigger than me at my highest). I also felt obligated to tell my parents in case something happened and because I knew I would have their support. My Mom had had RNY and my Dad had had the antiquated stomach-stapling (VGB) in the 1980's.

Shortly before I left for my surgery in Mexico, I decided to tell a coworker/friend because I had confided in her my many issues and battle. She was sworn to secrecy, supported me 100%, and understood my situation.

That's the other thing as to why I don't choose to tell 'just anyone'...I personally feel it would take me hours upon hours, if not years of just knowing me and my family to understand my personal struggle with weight/obesity/binge eating/yo-yo dieting/metabolism issues, etc.

People obviously comment on my weight loss but depending on how long they have known me for---most of them are not "shocked" by it. I also went through some things this year that might "explain" to them why I would have made healthy lifestyle changes (losing a parent at a young age to obesity complications).

One dear friend was very concerned that I was on another yo-yo and I decided to tell her the truth so she would stop worrying and because her daughter was convinced that if she "just exercised" like I had done, that miracles would happen for her too. I didn't want to give a 19 year old that kind of false impression because obviously my eating is strictly controlled and pre-op I was never able to maintain this kind of "willpower" for so long. I call it surgical-willpower

One sister is getting sleeved next month --YAY for her!!--

There have been MANY times where I think if I were 'outed', I could help someone---but I also feel that if someone who was morbidly obese came to me privately and asked for help, I would talk to them about all of their options, VSG being one of them ...and if we were close friends, I would definitely share how much it helped me. And, I know that having shared with my family, I've helped at least one sister make this decision and the other will probably when insurance or personal financing comes through.

I don't want the sleeve to define me. I don't want to be judged if I eat a chip or have some ice cream and I truly feel that other people do that when they see someone who is "on a diet" or who "had surgery". Yes, I care what other people think...it's just who I am