Parents who have been sleeved, I have a ?

[M2G 1,836]

If you are a parent, and you have school-age a school-aged child(ren), AND you were sleeved on a school day, did you let your child go to school on your surgery day?

I don't have a surgery date yet, (hoping for Oct.) and I'm sure it will land on a school day.

I have 2 girls, 3rd and 4th grade, and I'm just not sure if I should send them to school (keep their schedule as normal as possible) or let them stay with my in-laws who could then bring them to the hosptial after I'm out of recovery, etc.

We have talked to them about the surgery, and given them a general idea (without tons of details) and I'm sure they will be concerned, distracted, etc. But that could be a good thing, just being with their friends and having a normal day.

Any thoughts, or ideas? I am also interested in parents who have talked to their kids about their surgery, and how your child(ren) responded.

Thanks!

[Tiffykins 673]

I had my band on a school day, and the kiddo went to school. He did just fine. For my revision, I had surgery during the summer.

I was very open about my surgeries. He's kind of a gross little boy and wanted to watch youtube videos of the surgery, see diagrams, and pictures, and he wanted as much information as he could absorb.

He was supportive, and beyond understanding of my recovery. He became my little time watcher to make sure I was eating, and drinking. It was cool, we bonded, and now he's super proud of his "skinny" mom even though he was never ashamed of his "fat" mom. He just said "I'm glad you feel better, and you don't hurt, plus I can really hug you now so that's pretty awesome." I have a totally kickass kid, and we have a special little bond that really got us through an ugly, extensive recovery.

[peatie 4]

I plan to have my surgery while the kids are in school. They will catch the bus to my parents house after, and depending if my husband wants to stay w/me or go home for the evening...he'll either pick them up or let them stay there.

My kids are 6 & 8 and i plan to let them know i'll have a 'procedure' done, but not to the extent until I'm OUT of the hospital. I don't want to worry them. They won't have a problem seeing videos or anything since i'm in nursing school so they've been exposed to some pretty gruesome stuff already. lol

Good luck to you!

ETA: i think if you don't make a big deal about it and expect them to go about their normal routines, they won't be overly worried during school.

[Lisalu 89]

I talked to my 7 year old before the surgery. I told him I was having surgery to shrink my stomach to help me lose weight. I didn't tell him about my fears; I just quietly wrote a will and kept a brave face. I've explained more since when he has questions. Surgery was during the summer for me.

[lamsunshine 2]

I had my surgery 7 hours away from home, and on a school day. My daughter is older 15 years old, and she had to go school, or it would of been considered unexcused, not only that but she is on the colorguard in the band, and she would of missed her first football game of the season. My opinion is what are they going to do in the waiting room, except get bored. Shoot I hate to wait in a waiting room myself, but for young ones, it is probably worse. They would have a much better time at school, and they won't miss any school work.

[chilo1 62]

I had my surgery in the summer, but my mum came from South America to look after them (and me) I agree with all the posts above, just let them get on with their normal life, school, sports etc if possible. I spoke to my girls about my surgery (12 and 10 years, baby 10 months!) didn't put across my worries, which as parents especially we all have I suppose. Just told them that I was getting my stomach made smaller (they know of my struggle w my weight and I don't want to pass my anxiety on to them) and that my main reason for doing this was to be healthy. They weren't that bothered or worried about the whole issue, distracted with my mum I guess! Now they can't believe how little I can eat! My weight has never been an issue for them, I am/was a low BMIer, so to speak, they do tell me now that I look good all the time which is great especially coming from my 12 yr old fashion consious daughter! You'll love your sleeve Mommyof2girls, and having daughter around is great, I have 3, best of luck for you!

[M2G 1,836]

Thank you guys. I am really leaning towards having them spend the night at my friend's house, and she can take them to school/pick them up, and then have my in-laws bring them to the hosptial either that afternoon or whenever I'm in a place where I can visit with them for a bit.

My husband is also doing this surgery too (hoping for Dec. date) so it was great because we talked a lot about being healthier, eating smaller portions, and getting DH off of some of his daily meds for high blood pressure and asthma. We only talked positive, and there were no negatives. We were honest and said that mommy would probably be "in bed" a lot for the first week, but that after that I should be feeling much better and able to take them to school, etc.

My sweet darling 8 year old the day after I told her about the surgery, had lots of questions, like "will I even recognize you when you come home from the hosptial?" :blushing: Um, yes, sweetie, it won't be that fast. Then she snuggled up close and said "but Mom, I like you just the way you are"....awwwwwww!

[sstoots 0]

Out of the mouths of babes! I have three boys and my oldest (12) says he's proud of me, but thats about all I can squeze out of him, my middle son (9) and my youngest (6) are the two that are more curious. I heard the two of them in their room talking about me having surgery and my 9 year old was telling my baby "their gonna cut mom's whole stomach off and it's going to be ugly and all bloody but don't tell mom cause it will hurt her feelings, you just have to act like it's not ugly". I hadn't explained to them anything about the surgery I think they had just heard my husband and I talking about it. So I sat them down and gave them the truth and reassured them that they will not have to see any blood or guts when I get home. They had questions that I answered and I just basically told them I'm just doing this to be healthy so that I can be around for a long time. can you believe the next day I heard my 6 year old tell my nephew, my mom is going to live forever cause she's having surgery! Their words are sooo priceless.

[M2G 1,836]

Out of the mouths of babes! I have three boys and my oldest (12) says he's proud of me, but thats about all I can squeze out of him, my middle son (9) and my youngest (6) are the two that are more curious. I heard the two of them in their room talking about me having surgery and my 9 year old was telling my baby "their gonna cut mom's whole stomach off and it's going to be ugly and all bloody but don't tell mom cause it will hurt her feelings, you just have to act like it's not ugly". I hadn't explained to them anything about the surgery I think they had just heard my husband and I talking about it. So I sat them down and gave them the truth and reassured them that they will not have to see any blood or guts when I get home. They had questions that I answered and I just basically told them I'm just doing this to be healthy so that I can be around for a long time. can you believe the next day I heard my 6 year old tell my nephew, my mom is going to live forever cause she's having surgery! Their words are sooo priceless.

That is so cute! And you are right, it is funny how they take stuff and "digest" it in their own way. I like how your 9 year old didn't want to hurt your feelings. :thumbup:

[chilo1 62]

Out of the mouths of babes! I have three boys and my oldest (12) says he's proud of me, but thats about all I can squeze out of him, my middle son (9) and my youngest (6) are the two that are more curious. I heard the two of them in their room talking about me having surgery and my 9 year old was telling my baby "their gonna cut mom's whole stomach off and it's going to be ugly and all bloody but don't tell mom cause it will hurt her feelings, you just have to act like it's not ugly". I hadn't explained to them anything about the surgery I think they had just heard my husband and I talking about it. So I sat them down and gave them the truth and reassured them that they will not have to see any blood or guts when I get home. They had questions that I answered and I just basically told them I'm just doing this to be healthy so that I can be around for a long time. can you believe the next day I heard my 6 year old tell my nephew, my mom is going to live forever cause she's having surgery! Their words are sooo priceless.

That is so funny, aren't kids the best! The other day I bumped into a friend I haven't seen in ages, she sai I've never seen you so skinny! My 12 year old was there, when we got into the car, she said "I wanted to tell your frien, of course she's skinny, she just got half of her stomach chopped off" I corrected her and said not half, about 85% actually!:thumbup:

[cherice95403 13]

My kids are little (2 and 4) so I just told them I would be gone for a couple of days, but you might want to rethink bringing them to the hospital. Everyone is different of course, but I looked like hell the day of surgery. I was all drugged up, but still in pain. I couldn't really focus on anything and I would think that would be pretty scary for a kid. By the next day I had a better handle on myself.

[M2G 1,836]

My kids are little (2 and 4) so I just told them I would be gone for a couple of days, but you might want to rethink bringing them to the hospital. Everyone is different of course, but I looked like hell the day of surgery. I was all drugged up, but still in pain. I couldn't really focus on anything and I would think that would be pretty scary for a kid. By the next day I had a better handle on myself.

Thank you. My kids are naturally curious and I thought it might help them to "see" that I made it through, and was still alive, etc. But I didn't think about not being in the best state of mind, etc.

I think it might end up being a decision based on how I feel at the time. They certainly won't be staying very long, a quick hello is all I was planning. But it might not be worth it ...plus the mental image of me being IN the hospital, no matter how quick is something that they probably don't need. We'll have to see. Thanks for your input!

[Carrie 4]

My next door neighbor took our 5 year old to school as her daughter goes to the same school and she and I are friends. Hubby picked her up after school and got them dinner THEN brought them by to see me. I was very happy and uplifted to see my babies. So that might help, to have them come after you've slept a bit and the nurses have a chance to get any pain issues under control.