to tell or not to tell ????? yes or no

[sel1944 0]

hey guys im highly considering the sleeve and im very concerned about telling people or not. im really private and would rather not tell anyone but truthfully i dont know if i can pull it off ( eating with others and such). if anyone can share any thoughts on what they think or what they did, that would be really helpful. thanks:scared0:

[peatie 4]

I wouldn't if you're not comfortable or ready to talk about it. Just mention you're on a supervised diet by your Dr. That should solve any inquiries.

Good luck! Other than my spouse and immediate family, i'm not saying anything (and i'm in nursing school!).

[sel1944 0]

really but dont you think ppl would notice more than anything how little i will be eating (the girls). its really got me thinking. thanks for the advice

[chilo1 62]

I only told my family and a few very close friends. I still avoid going out with people who don't know for meals and stuff, but I know that now I can eat bits I'm going to start going out a bit more again, and as Peatie said just telling people I'm on a supervised diet. If you don't feel comfortable don't tell.

[peatie 4]

if you're going out with the girls, do they qualify as telling them the truth? i would probably tell them or they'll find out the truth at some point anyway and wish you just told them from the beginning. The others who you don't necessarily have 'dining' relations with, i'd keep it mum until you're comfortable.

I plan to let my close friends know after the procedure has been done.

[Bryn 3]

i debated this ordeal as well. I told my mom, sister, boyfriend and a close co-worker.

i was more torn about the co-worker but he is a life coach and highly recognized person among his community and in my opinion is very trust worthy. i told him about a month ago and he's been completely confidential. he doesn't necessarily agree with the surgery (he's extremely healthy) but he understands why i'm seeking it and he supports me.

as for others, if i get the surgery, i know they will see me eating differently but i am prepared to tell them that as far as the weeks of Protein drinks, i'm detoxing. and as far as the small meals, etc... I'm just decreasing my Portion Control and eating healthier.

It isn't anyone else's business as to why you are having the surgery, so if they somehow mention that you're eating like you've had WLS, you can always say that you are following the diet plan of such a person.

[Barbie_70 0]

Im 3 weeks out and choose to not to tell anyone, just my husband. Not to my kids. I dont want to stress them. To friends and at work I tell them Im on diet and they understand.

I want to learn how Im going to live with my sleeve and maybe in future when Im thin again Im going to tell. Good luck...

[Dave_NW 92]

Maybe my experience is different because I'm a guy, but the several people I've told have all been understanding. Some have even been enthusiastic. But all have been encouraging. I'm not making a big announcement at work, (sharing too much information where I work wouldn't be a good idea - people do love to talk...), but I have told a few close coworkers. Nobody has given me any trouble.

But in perspective, most of these people know me pretty well. They've seen me battle my weight for a long tme. And they all know how unhappy I am. So I think it's going to be fine.

The one thing I found interesting, was when I told them I was having weight loss surgery, nearly all of them said, "Oh, are you having bypass surgery?" Only a couple asked if I was "getting a lap band." With the popularity of the band, I would have thought that would be their first assumption. None knew what the sleeve was, but all agree it's a good choice for me.

Good luck with your surgery!

Dave

[Lisalu 89]

I told few people before the surgery. I didn't need people's judgements.

Now 12 weeks post-op, I tell people pretty freely. I see myself as a champion of a one person WLS education plan. This is a personal/political choice with me. Plenty of others have chosen to keep this matter private which I respect. No "right" answers here. You'll figure out what is right for you.

[laylasmojo 10]

Honistly this is a decision you are going to have to dig deep in side your self to make. Personaly I told any one who would listen to me. I would in a large hotel who all love to talk so if I had chosen to only tell one person it would be out all over with in a week anyway! So this way I can answer any questions thay may have before the nasty rumers start. I have found the majority of people to be supportive, I reaaly have not had any one make negative comments. Also in talking to every one I found another peson in my dept that is going in for WLS and have encouraged two more to start the process. Good luck in making you decision and what ever you decided will be the right way to go!

[Mary Gordon 3]

well, i first told my very very close relatives, sisters, dad, husband.....then i only told my close friends.....now it's been months and if people ask what i did to lose weight i now tell everyone and tell them it's the best thing i've ever done for myself....:thumbup:

[Becca 108]

I am telling my co-workers and family. I think they will figure it out anyway once the weight starts falling off! LOL However, that's a good thing right??

[Peffermintchili 0]

I'm only planning on telling six people. My husband. My three best friends and my mother and sister. Those are my support group and the only people that I've been open about my weight loss struggle with. My sister who is overweight, yet judgmental and doesn't diet or anything will probably lash out saying I'm a failure and make fun of me when I'm thin - but that's her problem. I'll be healthy and enjoying my life.

I work with all men and I imagine they will notice the difference but they are supportive when I'm dieting and as far as they will be concerned I've been dieting. Which will be true because I've been on one diet or another for the past two years.

Edited September 19, 2010 by Peffermintchili

[Calgarygirl 0]

So at 2:30 in the morning, while in Tijuana Im lying wide awake and all I can think of is how can I not tell my parents and sister. Im good wheather that take it or leave it as Im doing it for me.

Its basically my mother who drives me nuts when it comes to food.... for years I have asked can we please do other stuff then eating all the time, and she agrees, but nothing ever changes.... so last week when she invited me to go for a buffet and insisted I cant say no because dad is paying.... so I say no, can we please just not do something that doesnt involve food (not to mention my surgery was less then a week away too lol,,,, and she said that sounds wonderful, lets go bowling or to a movie soon then.... but while I have been in Mexico my bf writes my mom to tell her he has a dvd for her computer so my mom says thanks and insists that we need to start coming over for supper more.... that was it!! lol she seriously just doesnt know when to stop.... I wasnt going to tell my parents or sister, but I figure why live a lie, this is something HUGE and exciting for me, and people who are unsupportive of it, I dont want in my life. So wow I wrote a big long letter, and now Im waiting to hear back, but honestly Im relieved and feel the stress off my shoulder, and I cant believe I just let it all out lol (it was liberating).... but this has been ever since Ive known the rollercoaster of ups and downs with weight and Im done being in the Obese category. My doctor was 100% behind me and supported me all the way which meant alot to me, Im just hoping my family is the same!!

eeekkSsss!! lol

I figure if I dont tell people I can possibly just put the weight back on by streching my stomach and lying just to aplease people, no more, this is my year, my new me, the skinny new me!!! I wish everyone lots of luck in their decisions in telling people, but why not just tell everyone, youre not doing it for them, youve made this decision with a lot of care, thought and ups and downs. It took me over a year to think about it and the last 6 months to really be serious about it,,,, and to be honest it has been the best present I have ever given myself and no one is going to burst my buttons lol

[SouthernSleever 228]

I decided to tell my family and my best friends. Everyone has been very supportive. I thought I would get hell from my brother but he is excited for me. Once I have the surgery and people see me dropping weight I will probably tell them about the surgery. I'm handling this much in the same way I handled my homebirth. I told those who would need to know and then afterwords I spoke more freely about it. It keeps a lot of the "you are going to die!" and other stupid comments away but allows you to also speak to the benifits of the surgery so that someone else may see the path you are on and follow.