Scared to be skinny

[AJW 18]

How does it feel? It feels great, normal, you're one of the "in" crowd. You're thinner than most people are who are considered "slim." At least I am. My weight at this moment is 121 pounds and at 5'-7.5" tall, that's about a size 2-4. I have not yet shopped in a store for sizes that will fit me now. I keep losing so I'm trying not to buy clothes that might end up being too big in a few months. I was recently thinking, however, that I should go to Macy's or something and try on dresses for sizing. IDK what size I wear in dresses or skirts. In pants I'm a small or a 24/26 in jeans. Anyway, you too can experience this and more. I no longer feel excluded by fashion because they don't make it in my size, kwim?!

What's it like April? What does it feel like to walk into a regular store and be able to try on regular clothes? What does it feel like to not be embarrassed in a situation where your size will obviously be a factor? Airplane seats, shopping at the Gap ... what does it feel like to be included in all these things? I too only had 4 years of participation in American womanhood during high school before I ballooned. Even though I was fit and shapely in those years, even then I still gained 10 pounds a year, going from 115 to 145. I had one single pleasurable shopping experience in my life, when I was 16 and a size 8 juniors and my Mom took me shopping at The Limited. I remember how strong I felt and ... accepted, and worth something. Worth the effort and expense of dressing my body well in good quality clothes.