Warning ADULT content XXX (please don't look if you're easily offended)

[Darragha 0]

I can't wade through the 500 posts in reply, but as a romance novelist, all I can say is: you go, girl! Good for you for posting the question. I was wondering about such things myself recently. I feel a plot outline developing with a banded woman as the heroine

Darr

[TheWatcher 1]

ok i wanna be as real as possible here and you have no idea how embarrassed i am about posting this but here goes.

I haven't been laid in about 4 years, witch is kind of weird to me considering how much i date and how much i like *"dining out"*. Its not that im unattractive its just that 1 i am on this older woman kick that i just cant break. and its not that i haven't had the opportunities cause i had one the other night. i do how ever have a mortal fear or my dick all of a sudden wanting to play hide and go seek. I am very pleased with my man hood and have never had any complaints but lately at my current weight (416 or so) Jr. has started retreating into his panic room... He hasn't done that since my friends and i went streaking in Tahoe (soooo much tequila involved). So im not exactly sure what im asking but 4 years is too damn long.

On another note im close to getting my consult ... just finished my sleep study... pray for me...

[000000000 0]

I of couse I am on the recieving end, All I can say is after loosing a lot of weight there is more to put in the mouth, as the tummy area has gone down, My unit is longer.

I just wish it happened more often.

:bounce::bounce:

[Kat817 19]

Watcher, I would say without a doubt you will have less of that problem as you go on to lose weight. However I would not be surprised to see the problem go away as soon as you "see the light at the end of the tunnel" and know help is on the way. Would almost bet when you get a surgery date, you can also get a date with a happy ending!!!

Good luck on all your pre-ops----the band is SOOOOO worth it!

Kat

[Leona06 0]

Ok here's an embarrassing question:

My boyfriend doesn't want me to return the favor after he goes to town. What's up with that?

[TheWatcher 1]

believe it of not he may not like it... its rare but there are those men that don't like it. I like it but not while I'm downtown working. if you are trying to service him while hes servicing you. maybe he doesn't want the distraction ... i know i wouldn't.

[Leona06 0]

TheWatcher.... Its strange because when I do go downtown- it takes him about an hour to finish and sometimes more... which is stranger that the whole he doesn't really want it thing. It doesn't matter where we are- a bar, the car, he has to have his hands on me. But as soon as I try to reciprocate, he says, "I just want to make you happy... don't worry about me."

ugh men. wtf? I happen to like going downtown very much, and pride myself in my awesome technique. someone told me once that it might be painful for him (he is uncircumsed- i dunno if that makes a difference?) . any suggestions?

[TheWatcher 1]

well i know that it take me along time to arrive when I'm gone down upon... its takes for ever and its really intense ... so intense that sometimes its too much that may be a problem... another possibility is that he may not want you to ... some me (i was like this for a while) don't like the idea of letting a woman do that. it is a psychological thing i may have something to do with the cumming in the mouth thing... the balance of power thing. (cause contrary to popular belief that is the most powerful position... PERIOD) maybe he has had a bad experience ... and the last is the least likely but he may not like it the way you are doing it. It the last be the case then communication is key... for all others it may be something that he has to get over. it may be that you just have to make him understand that you want to please him and that its important to you that he gets off. <br /> some men are stuck in this women don' like to give blow jobs mindset and ... most men just pass that thought aside and say imma get mine but its possible he is trying to play mind reader and he truly doesn't want to make you do something you don't want to do.... now that i think about it there could be a lot more reasons that this could be happening but most revolve around him. so its kind of in your as to find out what his particular issue is.

[BJean 16]

I used to pride myself on my BJ technique as well. My DH was the first guy who wasn't anxious for me to do it. It took him years to get up the nerve to burst my bubble and let me know that I wasn't all that good. I was somehow (even though I thought I never did) occasionally allowing a tooth to graze his most sensitive area. Plus, I was just over zealous for him. Ouch!! Most guys loved it, but he didn't. He much prefers the very gentle "touch".

Now I am extremely careful and I focus more on enjoying the act myself and using his member for my pleasure instead of focusing on trying to give him pleasure. He can't get enough of it since we had that open communication! Thank goodness I'm no longer doing something that neither of us was enjoying all that much. This way, we're both very happy.

[Wendell Edwards 73]

Got to love this thread.

[Leona06 0]

lol the watcher and bjean... i know i need to have that open communication with him, but we've only been dating a month and a half and its hard for me to bring it up... any suggestions?

[TheWatcher 1]

lol the watcher and bjean... i know i need to have that open communication with him, but we've only been dating a month and a half and its hard for me to bring it up... any suggestions?

Well here is my take on the situation... You have to start somewhere.

If you approach communication like its a hugely groundbreaking thing its will never be easier... developing that level of open communication should have started the first time he saw you naked. If its just a month or a year should make no difference... Somethings your not gonna wanna hear vice versa... some things you hes not gonna want to say and vice versa... but these are things that need to be said... For any relationship to grow you have to be open and honest... FROM THE START its the only way to ensure that you will have the skills to weather the storms that are inevitably coming. :heh: A good practice is never to get into a relationship especially a sexual relationship unless there is potential for the situation to go all the way... otherwise the experience for both parties only gets cheapened and may cause problems in future relationships or destroy what could have been a fruitful friendship.

***that last statement was just cautionary... not meant for anyoone in particular.:ranger:

[BJean 16]

The way I have usually communicated with a partner is after we are both happily "finished" and we're feeling close and trusting, I begin with explaining that I'm kinda shy in the talking about it department. (I am very careful how I say things, always very soft and meek.) I've never been great at approaching things in a clinical or straightforward way. I'm more of a shy, catch me if you can, style grrl. So I smile sweetly and talk about how great things were, or weren't, and say something like, "Is there anything I could do differently that would make it better for you? If they play it shy too, then I try to get him to open up by asking if I could have done it slower or perhaps faster? Harder or maybe softer? Further up or maybe further down? Anything in particular that you'd like me to try?" That usually opens up a dialogue and hopefully if I am dissatisfied with something that has gone on, then I can feel comfortable bringing it up too! Good luck!

[Leona06 0]

Thanks everyone- great advice!

Well we talked about it and its mainly just because he when he drinks too much, its hard for him to keep it hard. So he'd rather just ravish me for HOURS. I also found out that he has a foot fetish (haha) and also likes giving foot massages. He is slightly embarrassed about the foot thing, but I'm fine with it Everything is working out great right now... I've spent the last 4 nights with him, and its been amazing! Although sometimes he gets a little TOO eager to please me!

[BJean 16]

Well Leona, I can imagine that a foot fetish could be a problem if it gets too far advanced - like breaking into homes and collecting women's shoes - just kidding, I saw that in a movie once.

But seriously, to have someone shower attention on my feet would be a real turn on for me. I don't have a foot fetish but I love to have a foot massage and in a couple of erotic situations, I have had a guy actually suck my toes. Wow! Who knew that could be exciting? It was amazing.

I read once that to overcome jet lag, you should massage your ears for about 15 minutes - that is a very long time as it turns out. But guess what... it actually does help a lot. And in the meantime, your ears become very happy campers and it is almost erotic when your partner does it for you, gently of course. Dreamy! My DH and I always look forward to crossing several time zones because we know we will be getting a serious, gentle ear massage once we get to the hotel.

So glad that you and your man have had a heart-to-heart and that things are going well for you. Btw, there's nothing wrong with telling a guy to slow down if he gets too carried away. In the BJ department, I was too for eager for my DH. He just wasn't able to sit back, relax and enjoy it - he never knew if I might inflict some pain when I got carried away. :speechles