Warning ADULT content XXX (please don't look if you're easily offended)

[Bettina 0]

Omg I haven't heard anyone call them that but me for about 10 years!!!! LOL

Oh no, I have called them that for a really long time!!! I had CFM Sandals...omg they were awesome leather that wrapped around your ankle (before they were fat...lol) and my fav CFM clogs (really dating myself now...lol) hmmmmmm I think I will go shoe shopping tomorrow.....LOL:Banane20: <-------look i found them...ha ha

but what I really want to know is what the heck is this supposed to be---------------> banana riding a worm (that has legs......ewwww)

[FunnyDuddies 6]

its a banana riding a llama. totally realistic don't you think?

I have two pair of CFM boots. one pair is leather, one pair is shiny PVC, both have chunky heels and go to my knees. I have a few high heeled CFM sandals like you describe. One pair is lucite, and has lights that blink in the heel. Totally slutty. LOL

[FunnyDuddies 6]

The 'go again' comment reminds me of a little X-rated story.

We hadn't seen each other in a few weeks so when he came over than night, I guess he was very excited to see me because that was the fastest he ever climaxed. As he was getting up, I said, "that was quick!" The comment just kind of popped out of my mouth and as soon as I said it he looked a bit surprised and even a little hurt. I tried to take it back. I said, "But it was good, honey, I mean it's ok that it was fast ... um."

He became very serious and announced quite strongly (but not angrily) in his thick accent, "Lie down! I do it again!"

I said, "oh .. um .. ok ... do you need to rest for a minute or-"

"No! I am ready now. Lie down!" The look on his face was one of complete determination, rather than desire. And, well, he did it again, much slower the second time.

AAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I think i can i think i can i think i can....

Nothin says lovin like determination! That is a cute story. I accidentally sai the same thing once, DH did a similar "Nope, I am ready now, lets go!" and the second time took 2.5 hours.

[REEIZBOOJE 0]

AAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I think i can i think i can i think i can....

Nothin says lovin like determination! That is a cute story. I accidentally sai the same thing once, DH did a similar "Nope, I am ready now, lets go!" and the second time took 2.5 hours.

Damnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I wonder how many calories you guys burned that day. LOL

[FunnyDuddies 6]

sex actually does not burn that many calories. At least that is what the workout sites say. Also, did you know that istups don't really burn many calories? Its true. they only burn a few more cals than just laying on your back.

Now that being said, we have had our marathon weekends. Never getting dressd, eating nothing but strawberries and apple juice, and taking 4 or 5 showers a day. Those weekends result in a 8-10 pound loss each time.

maybe it is time for another one of those...

[REEIZBOOJE 0]

sex actually does not burn that many calories. At least that is what the workout sites say. Also, did you know that istups don't really burn many calories? Its true. they only burn a few more cals than just laying on your back.

Now that being said, we have had our marathon weekends. Never getting dressd, eating nothing but strawberries and apple juice, and taking 4 or 5 showers a day. Those weekends result in a 8-10 pound loss each time.

maybe it is time for another one of those...

Roflmao, I consider it my only "fun" form of excercise.

[GonnaDoIt 0]

I got to find myself some available ladies like some of you in the NY/NJ area!

Anyone interested?

Most women are "like us". Women like sex, too. We just don't like unwanted advances (not saying your comment is an unwanted advance). In order to keep the number of unwanted advances down, we normally do not - in front of men we're not dating - discuss our enjoyment of or willingness to perform various sexual acts.

Though I have to admit, I saw some statistics recently about the percent of women who were not willing to perform oral sex and I was very surprised that the number was so high. I consider it a normal part of a healthy sexual relationship to be performed about as frequently as vaginal sex.

Nothin says lovin like determination! That is a cute story. I accidentally sai the same thing once, DH did a similar "Nope, I am ready now, lets go!" and the second time took 2.5 hours.

Oh, Lord, 2.5 hours. I had a prior long term relationship (we had a son) with a man who always took a long, long time. I know most women would be thrilled, but I wasn't. Its great for the first ten minutes. Then my mind started wandering and I would think about things like whether I'd paid my credit card bill. If it was especially long, my inner thigh muscles would cramp up, which hurt and not in a sexy way. He used to get mad if I started to look bored.

[lady in red 0]

Allright ladies, this is too funny! I have'nt posted for a couple of months and what do I see when I do? Subject matter near and dear to my heart or (actually a little closer to my "head") pun intended. My philosophy to giving great oral? "Good to the last drop!" Yes, I'm sure Maxwell House had a different idea when they patented that phrase, but describing great oral sex must include just the right words for the right effect. Some of you are probably laughing and some are gagging, but ask yourself this:" is your glass half empty or completely full of champagne?" Let's face it, champagne does sound better in the "glass" than uhh,well, umm, well, just better. Besides, the bubbles tickle your nose. Yes ladies, the hair does tickle your nose, but champagne does look and sound better in the "glass." Having said all that, anyone for penis? Oh, sorry, I meant tennis?

[GonnaDoIt 0]

I just spent a few minutes reading some more of the posts on this thread. A lot of discussion about whether the size of a man's penis changes as he loses weight.

Let me tell you, I am a bit concerned about what's going to happen to my boobs. The girls and I have been best friends for a long time and I'm worried that they will be deflated. Big tits are the one good thing about being fat. I'll be sad when I drop below a double D.

[Tired_Old_Man 1]

Let me tell you, I am a bit concerned about what's going to happen to my boobs. The girls and I have been best friends for a long time and I'm worried that they will be deflated. Big tits are the one good thing about being fat. I'll be sad when I drop below a double D.

Did you hear about the woman who had two 38's and a 45 to protect them?

[Bettina 0]

its a banana riding a llama. totally realistic don't you think?

llama??? Looks more like an animated sex toy!!!!!

(and the sex toy is having more fun than the banana!)

[TommyO 5]

In regards to the 2 1/2 hours, theres an old joke that seems apropo.

Here goes, (Please this is a condensed version)

A Young man is in a bar when he notices a working girl sitting at the bar. He approaches her and asks what her price is.

The Lady of the evening tells him she is the best and the best costs $1,000.00.

The young man is in disbelief and walks away, Much later in the night and after no other opportunities appear the young man goes back over to the lady at the bar and say's he is willing to pay.

They head across the street to the hotel and go to a room. When they get in the room she informs him that she needs to use the lady's room. When she walk out of the ladies room she see's heim on the bed masturbating. In shock she asks "What are you doing" The young man responds

"For a thousand bucks you're not getting the easy one"

[FunnyDuddies 6]

A huge muscular man walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender hands him the beer and says, "You know, I'm not gay but I want to compliment you on your physique, it really is phenomenal! I have a question though, why is your head so small?"

The big guy nods slowly. He's obviously fielded this question many times.

"One day," he begins, "I was hunting when I got lost in the woods. I heard someone crying for help and finally realized that it was coming from a frog sitting next to a stream."

So I picked up the frog and it said, "Kiss me. Kiss me and I will turn into a genie and grant you 3 wishes."

So I looked around to make sure I was alone and gave the frog a kiss. POOF! The frog turned into a beautiful, voluptuous, naked woman.

She said, "You now have 3 wishes."

I looked down at my scrawny 115 pound body and said, "I want a body like Arnold Schwarzenneger."

She nodded, whispered a spell, and POOF! there I was, so huge that I ripped out of my clothes and was standing there naked!

She then asked, "What will be your second wish?"

I looked hungrily at her beautiful body and replied, "I want to make sensuous love with you here by this stream." She nodded, laid down, and beckoned to me. "We then made love for hours!"

Later, as we lay there next to each other, sweating from our glorious lovemaking, she whispered into my ear, "You know, you do have one more wish. What will it be?"

I looked at her and replied, "How about a little head?"

[PhotoNut 7]

A man slips his arms around his new bride's waist and whispers lustily in her ear, 'Come on honey, let's f*ck!'

The wife, clearly alarmed by her husband's approach, pulls from his arms and asks, 'Do you have to call it -that-??'

The husband pauses, looking a little confused by her reaction, and asks, 'Well.. what would you rather I call it?'

Being new to this whole sex thing and feeling rather shy about it, the wife decides to choose a word that might help her not be so embarassed. Looking up at her husband she says, 'I don't know.. um.. how about washing machine?'

The husband, taken aback by the choice of terms, decides quickly that it doesn't matter what she calls it as long as he gets some. So, with a big grin, he pulls her back to him and says in a deep lusty voice, 'Alright baby, let's washing machine.'

With a sigh, the wife pulls away again declaring, 'Not tonight honey. I have a headache.'

Much to the husband's dismay, this continues for several weeks. His every advance being spurned. Finally, after a month goes by, the wife decides she's ready. Slipping into the bed, she snuggles up to her husband's side and begins to caress his stomach. In a seductive voice she whispers, 'Honey.. let's washing machine.'

The husband sighs as he turns over onto his side, his back to his wife. Getting comfortable on his pillow he mutters, 'MMm.. not tonight dear. I had a small load, so I just did it by hand.'

[CandySmooch 0]

This thread has made my day! Thanks for the laughs.

CandySmooch, you wrote "...sometimes I give it back to him." What do you mean?

Sorry I didn't check back on this thread till now NancyRN -

What I mean is I'll let him ejaculate in my mouth, but as I'm finishing him off I secretly spit it back onto his manhood and then he just thinks I didn't get it all when really I'm too grossed out to swallow it - LMAO! So we both get the best of both worlds - he thinks I swallow for him - I get the credit but don't have to swallow the hot goo :mad: Does that make more sense?