OK Folks - I need answers!

[Sunnyone41 0]

I have 4 daughters. Only one of them is heavy with a slow metabolism like me. The rest of the family is normal weight. She and I are both approx. 100 pounds overweight. Last year she decided she would do the full surgical bypass and I was horrified. Luckily, her insurance was very slow on the approval. Purposefully, I went on a diligent diet to prove to her that weight loss was possible for us if we tried hard enough. I followed the Atkins diet. I joined a group at work that cooked for each other and shared lunch time and hints, products information etc. The South Beach diet became popular, and several were following that. Some lost a lot of weight, and I was basically their teacher. One of these girls lost over 60 pounds. We were serious and there for each other. For the whole year I lost 8. They saw what I ate and didn't eat and knew I was trying very hard and was sticking to the diet plan. But after relaxing for trip and Christmas, I started Jan 2004 at the exact same weight I was Jan 2003. Zero loss for a year's dieting experience and I had only shown my daughter the reverse of what I wanted. Momma can't lose weight either!! Meanwhile she had heard of the Lapband. I began to encourage her in this. Along the way, it became evident that I could qualify and my insurance will probably cover it. (not approved yet).

So now both of us are working on getting insurance approval and doing our due diligence. This board has been an eye-opener. There are so many people too tight, not tight enough, having trouble with PB, leaks, slippage- nausia. Is it really worth it? Is it ever smooth? Would most of you say YES, I would do it again? Or suggest that someone they love go through it? Has anyone actually achieved their goal weight?

[GeezerSue 7]

I'm not YET a success story and I paid cash and I'd do it again. I long-ago figured I'd lose the Miss Congeniality Contest, and this may tick off some people, but here goes:

I think a good part of obesity is simply that we are crazy. I don't mean lock-up-forever crazy, just crazy enough to keep engaging in a self-destructive behavior...kinda like smoking. I tried several times over almost forty years to quit smoking. Then one day, I decided that I had just had my last cigarette and that was four years ago. Done. No more self-destructive smoking. The deal is, I'm not there yet with food, and I think we have to "be there" in order for the band or the bypass or Weight Watchers or whatever to work for us.

Now the surgeries are a FAR more powerful tool than a diet or Jenny Craig, but they can be circumvented and are on a regular basis. (That crazy stuff, again.) If you hang around long enough on wls boards, you start learning that many people who have had RnY start--usually at about two years out, when the malabsorption begins to wane--to go through the same garbage that we banded have to go through from the beginning. The fortunate (those brighter than I) learn to make those changes right away, the rest just take longer.

I know that the band is there and that I know what I have to do and I just need to get around to doing it. (Like when I REALLY quit smoking.) If I had had the RnY with my same resistance to change, I'd be much thinner than I am now, but not necessarily any brighter or any less crazy. Sooooo shortly, I'd start gaining weight. (With the band, I've lost SOME, gotten an unfill, gained some, lost a little of that and then maintained.) And then, right about the time I'd finally get around to getting smart, the malabsorption wouldn't be there and I'd be in the same battle with only a smaller stomach than before. With the band, the small stomach can just sit there and wait for me to get less crazy or more smart...whichever comes first.

We are a new board, so I don't know if anyone here besides the CoffeeWench (starrring in a commercial or on a billboard near you) is at goal yet. But there are bandsters at goal.

Sue

[Alexandra 55]

Hi Sunnyone,

I'm not yet a success story either, if the way you define success is having reached "goal" with no problems. I don't believe there is any such person--this process is too life-changing to be utterly without bumps. How could it be? Yet MY personal goal was to get control over my LIFELONG battle with food and my own metabolism. And that is being accomplished each and every day.

I think I'm very much like you and your daughter. I am the only person in my immediate family who ever had a weight problem, thanks to Grandma's efficient metabolism gene that cropped up in me. I'm not imagining this: Recently my brother told me about a conversation he had with his wife (she thinks the band is unnecessary, all one has to do is "eat less.") My brother told her that all of our lives he never saw me eat MORE, it was just that no matter what I ate I couldn't burn it off like he could. (I love my bro! ) So slow metabolisms are not myth, and they are evident to other people.

I've had the same experience you have had on diets of one sort or another...they just don't work for me. The one time I ever lost any significant weight was on a medical fast of 800 calories a day. That is not only unhealthy but absolutely unsustainable. Who was I kidding? Even during a college summer when I walked several miles each day and lived on sliced turkey, diet soda, and celery, I lost 20 lbs which came back on within three weeks of going back to school.

Now, for the very first time in my life, I am not alone in my battle to eat only the little tiny bit that is evidently necessary to sustain my life. And, amazingly, that is ENOUGH for me, most of the time. It's a miracle that I can sit down at an IHOP, order one of their three-egg omelets, eat one-quarter of it and be done AND SATISFIED. (Now, when am I going to learn to order less? That's another question.)

The quick fix does not interest me--that way lies trouble. I learned that doing the fast, which resulted in 75 lbs lost and 105 regained. I believe the slow steady learning curve of the band is the only way to PERMANENT conquest of my weight issues. And if you're comparing the band to the RNY, don't kid yourself about the problems. The problems we have are TINY compared to those bypass patients can face. I wouldn't go there for all the tea in China. I'd rather diet. But with the band I don't have to diet, I just have to think...and I'm learning how to do that, without "failing" when I have trouble.

With regard to getting to "goal" -- I think placing too much importance on this is a source of trouble for all WLS patients. For example, I've seen people crying that they got within 6 lbs of goal before starting to gain again, as though this made everything meaningless. Before surgery I measured my extra weight in triple digits. I'm sure as hell not going to be ungrateful or beat myself up because I can't reach some imaginary number on a scale. My goal is to be healthy and energetic, and not feeling like every day is a marathon of deprivation. I'm already there, having reached a number and size I have never maintained as an adult. And I don't fear food, parties, cooking, or shopping. My life has changed for the better, and my future looks infinitely brighter (and longer) than it did pre-surgery.

Surgery was a big decision, but I haven't regretted it for one tiny millisecond. It's safe, adjustable, and reversible, and puts me in control of my body not the other way around. I'm closing in on 50 pounds down, and I don't kid myself--I couldn't have done that alone in a million years. If the next 50 takes a year or two, so be it. The process is educational, rewarding, mostly painless, and the most important thing I've ever done for myself. :eek:

[Debra 0]

Sunnyone,

I have not yet been banded (scheduled for 6/14) and I understand your questioning the worth of the band. I too have wondered as I've read all the little problems involved. However, they do seem to be mostly that ... little! For everyone who posts a problem, there are a number of helpful and caring responses, suggestions, hints and tips. I've noticed that if I follow these posts, within a week or so, most of the problems have gone away.

Sue and Alexandra are a wealth of info, as are many on this board. Listen to the people who approach this realisticly (sp!). They make sense and put everything into perspective.

When I weigh the problems that I have now with those I am reading about here, well, I can't wait to PB! (lol) At least then I'll know I'm on my way!!

Best wishes to you and your daughter!

[not2big42long 0]

Hi Sunnyone,

Congratulations on you and your daughters decision to change your life in a positive way. I also have one out of four children that acquired my genes and has a slow metabolism. The rest of my kids are at normal or under weight. I find it very frustrating to try to explain to my 13 year old daughter (my youngest) why we can all eat the same and she and I are the ones that have to worry about gaining weight. I would allow her to have this surgery should she need it in the future and support her decision to take charge of this part of her life before it escalates out of control. This is a decision that you will never regret and YES I would do it again in a second. For the first time in my life I have control over food rather than it having control over me.

I look at some of the problems a little differently. I see the being to too tight/too lose as a road to finding the "sweet spot", that place where you can eat enough to maintain a healthy diet and still lose weight. PB-ing I see as the bands way to let you know when you are eating too much, or even to let you know maybe there is something going on that needs to be looked at. A monitor of sorts. Other problems are risks that can happen when you have the band. Any procedure comes with them. And like Alexandra said, "The problems we have are TINY compared to those bypass patients can face."

I am only 3 1/2 weeks into my band and have yet to have any major problems. No nausea, PB-ing, etc. So far it has been smooth, actually a piece of cake. There are several success stories on the net and in advertisements. Try thebandsters.com it has quite a few success stories and a lot of info.

It's good to hear that you are not just jumping into this with your eyes shut. It's still surgery and should be investigated well to see if it truly is a good choice for you and your daughter. Read through this and other forums and ask all the questions you need to to get to the point where you are sure this is right for you. Ask your doctor if there are any support groups in your area. Maybe talking to real live people will help.

Take care, and let us know how you both do!!!

[Sunnyone41 0]

Thanks Sue, Alex and Debbie and Not2big42long!! for some thoughtful responses with good information. It is so scary to consider surgery for a problem I thought I could fix myself -- but my best efforts have not resulted in any progress and now I feel so discouraged, I have not been able to face trying another diet since the start of the year. I am actually a very disciplined eater, and very knowledgeable about good foods, and should do well under restriction. So, I will try to hurry up the insurance approval, if possible. It might be May or June.

Losing slowly but surely would make me happy as can be, I really don't care if it took 3 years, and no, I am not "in-Love" with some magic goal number --- I remember what I looked like at certain weights, but who knows what you would look and feel like at those weights now, years later? I am a big-boned person and will never be a lightweight --- and since I have lost before in my life, I know that rewards (recognition, health, clothes) come along at levels all the way along.

It is nice to communicate with others like me. My daughter has a LOT of health problems - she is just 40 with Diabetes, fast heart beat, HBpressure, IBS and backaches -- with a high stress job, two hyper kids, no time for herself, a long commute -- she gets no break!! I am looking forward to her having some success at this.

Thanks again.

[bbrecruiter2000 1]

Hi Sunnivale,

Getting a lapband is the best decision I have ever made for myself. I was told by many docs that I would have a hard time to lose weight. I have hyperinsulinemia (insulin resistance) and the associated problem of gaining weight rapidly and having a hard time to take it off. I tried dieticians and spent a year on Atkins. I lost 47 pounds, but gained back 60 in less than 6 months. I truly felt that I would not lose fast, but that if I had a tool that would help me with the quantity issue, I would do my due diligence to eat healthy food and exercise. Well, so far I have lost 106 pounds in less than 10 months. Have I had any problems with the band? Not really. I pb'ed one time since being banded and had some mild gastritis which lasted about 1 month after a tight fill which eventually loosened up. Other than that, it has been pretty smooth sailing. When I go to a restaurant, I eat whatever I want, just in small quantities. I eat ice cream once a week or a low carb chocolate bar or some other treat. I take a few bites of dessert if I want. I really really like popcorn and tortilla chips, but now I eat a normal serving or half of one at the movies or with some turkey chili. Life is wonderful with the band. I am finally in control of my eating and eat to live, not live to eat.

Babs in TX

334/228/180

-106

6/23/03

[Sunnyone41 0]

That is unbelievable, wonderful, and doesn't it make a difference in your Life!! Thanks for the positive reassurance!

/Sunny

[syber 0]

Once you reach a weight of 100 pounds or over your body will always fight you to regain the weight. The fat cells are there and unless you cut them out they will always be there. Of those who diet many are successful but less then 5% are successful in keeping it off.

My opinion is the band is not designed to loose the weight because most people can loose the weight through diet. Rather once the weight is off, the band is used to maintain your weight loss. Maintaining the weight once you have lost it has always been the missing link. For the first time the band will control and maintain the loss through fills.