It's been a rough weekend.

[aprilbell77 0]

I spent yesterday all day in bed and in a deep depressive mood. My live-in boyfriend couldn't even cheer me up, and it got him worried.

Today, I made myself get out of the house and go watched a movie with the girls from work. That turned out to be a bomb because I sat there and ate a whole small bag of popcorn (movie small = normal large). Then I came home and cooked a pot roast and veggies and ate until I made myself sick.

I feel myself starting to spin out of control and feel like I have no one near me that can relate to what I'm going through.

[Maddie 9]

Are you having a depression issue, or are you depressed because your eating is out of control again? Some depression after surgery is normal, but if you feel yours is sever, you should see a dr.

The eating is another issue. The sleeve is only a tool. You have to flat out decide to eat the right things or it won't work. Of course, we will all eat something wrong once in a while. But, you get back in the saddle and do what you know you are supposed to do. Don't wallow in defeat, just start over.

I am not trying to scold you. I suffer from depression too. I take meds for it. I had to decide for myself that I would no longer use food to medicate myself. The days of "comfort food" are over. The best thing is, taking control over food, instead of letting it control me has helped my depression.

I wish you all the best, good luck.

[sleeve 4 me 910]

Feel better soon!

[BlackBerryJuice 349]

OK, let's see...you took yourself out to have some fun and you ate a small movie bag of popcorn...lots of fiber! You ate pot roast and veggies (all healthy foods!) You're what, 2 months out? So "until I made myself sick" was probably at most a cup of pot roast and veggies - this is probably 1/3 of what my boyfriend's normal dinner would involve. So if you look at it rationally, it's no big deal!

To prevent future mindless popcorn consumption, I'd suggest taking up knitting as a hobby. Knitting a simple scarf or baby blanket doesn't require you to look down at all, so you can still enjoy the movie while your hands are kept busy. If that's not your thing, bring a drink. I've gone to the movies twice since my VSG - granted, I KNOW popcorn could hurt my sleeve at this point, so I have a bit more drive to resist temptation - and I avoided popcorn without a problem. On both occasions, I brought something with me to sip (Protein shake or juice box).

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I empathise April, yesterday I went over my calorie budget by 123 (723 instead of 600). I ate 2 TBSP of Peanut Butter, a cup of non-fat milk, half a hamburger patty with a slice of cheese, 4 oz of chicken breast, and 3 bites of rib meat. Granted that was over a 14 hour period and it was low carb but still - it's the emotional aspect of it that concerns me. I just kept grazing and grazing ... and I would like to point out that even after all that Protein I still didn't make protein quota for the day!

Stop beating yourself up - you are cognisant of what happened, you are aware of your emotions. Dust yourself off and be tender to yourself - we are here for you to connect with, your BF is there in person to lean on, and the world is full of sugar free low carb options - heck, JellyBelly makes a buttered popcorn flavored bean that is practically the real deal!! Have you gone to OA.com?

[aprilbell77 0]

You all bring up a valid point. I was able to catch myself by recognizing what I did. I just need to pick my self up and move on and not dwell on it. I've done far more good than I have bad in the time since my surgery.

I'm trying to focus on the good and to be happy, but sometimes it's just so hard. Sorry if it sounds like I'm whining.

[BJean 16]

I read on some other thread somewhere that some people grieve for the loss of their former way of eating. They get depressed thinking that they can't eat large quantities of food at one sitting anymore. We have often used food for comfort and even just for fun and taking those things out of our lives means big time change. And many people resist change because they are uncomfortable with finding something new to replace the things they miss.

I am not a psychologist and am just tossing this out there because it has not only crossed my mind but I know it's been a problem for some VSG and Lapband patients whose capacity for food is so restricted. It may have nothing to do with your depression at all. But if it does, recognizing a problem is part of the battle of solving it.

I hope you figure it out right away and become happy and thrilled with your new healthier way of eating. Because being happy is a huge motivator for changing your behavior.

Good luck!

[clk 3,519]

From everything I've seen and read both during my research period and post op, what you're going through happens to other people, too.

Depression after WLS isn't uncommon and I know that if you search just this board you'll find some threads discussing it.

I completely agree with BlackBerryJuice - while you overdid it yesterday, your sleeve kept you from going as overboard as you might have gone in the past.

Today is a new day, with new chances to get the eating thing right. It's a learning process, and you're not that far out from surgery. It takes a long time to break those habits, especially using food as a comfort when you're feeling down.

If you need someone to talk to, maybe you should find someone in your area, or get involved with a weight loss support group. If you're not sure that's something you're comfortable with, vent here, because I know there are other folks here that understand.

I hope today is better for you.

~Cheri

[pumpkin07 32]

Try journaling - just sit and write write write or draw a few minutes a day. After a few sessions you may discover what is depressing you. food is a way many of us cope with stress such as depression. Now it is hard to overeat...so you may feel sad about that...I have been at times. Actually in those times is when I am MOST thankful for my sleeve. But find a new outlet to get those feelings out and dealt with...that is my suggestion. I generally find what is bugging me is right beneath the surface and with a pen it all pours onto the paper...hope that helps.

[thinoneday 445]

You all bring up a valid point. I was able to catch myself by recognizing what I did. I just need to pick my self up and move on and not dwell on it. I've done far more good than I have bad in the time since my surgery.

I'm trying to focus on the good and to be happy, but sometimes it's just so hard. Sorry if it sounds like I'm whining.

Your not whining, but only you can bring yourself out of whatever you brought yourself into. . . no one else can, bf tried and see it didn't work, can just imagine how badly he feels. . so get up, pull up your big girl panties, and start livin' . . .good luck!

[Estrellita 6]

Hi April,

I can't express how much I can relate to you. I dealt with serious anxiety post surgery and am still working to control it. Depression and anxiety come from a combination of factors: the surgery itself, the adjustment period, the hormonal changes that occur as we lose weight, our brain dealing with life without the numbing food, plus any existing emotional issues (for me there are several). We tend to feel alone and actually start withdrawing from the world. No one can cheer us up.

Don't let this depression overtake you and keep you from enjoying life. One more habit we have to break is beating ourselves dead after overeating. It was part of the vicious addiction cycle. Beware of it and act against it.

What I find works great for affirming myself, my life, my decisions, and cheers me up are daily affirmations, journaling, walking, and therapy. I am also joining OA this week. Remember the surgery helps us controls the addictive behavior, but not the mental/physical addiction itself. I hear OA helps much in this and is very supportive.

Another resource I found that I'm just starting to work with is a book titled the Biology of Belief by Bruce H. Lipton. I picked it up because Wayne Dyer (Excuses be Gone author) recommends it. Biology of Belief addresses (I'm just starting) the physical state of thinking, and attempts to teach us how to think so that we are functioning, impacting, assertive humans. So far this is what I gather from it. I'm liking it.

Wayne Dyer's audio CDs are also powerful. I play them in the car and keep saying I'm gonna get them on my cell from itunes to listen to as I walk. I haven't done this though...

I'm not sure of your faith, but spiritual affirmations are powerful. My favorites come from "Jesus Calling" and "God Calling." Two little books that literally feed me and give me direction daily. I also include general affirmations and stream them into my cell.

April I have learned so much since surgery. I found that this journey has been more about rediscovering myself, than the weight loss. Sometimes I wish I had started working on myself inside out instead of outside in, but deep down I think this was the only way to recenter my life. Don't give up on yourself, and please please please don't resort to withdrawl and apathy. This website has helped me tremendously. Personally it has been heaven sent. Reach out to people here, at home, your BF, God, therapy if necessary, and support groups. But please, please, please, don't beat yourself up. Give that up just as your body has given up on three bags of doritos at a sitting.

God bless you!