A Minor Mileston & Things I've Noticed

[ouroborous 519]

First, I reached a minor milestone today -- I broke the 270 lbs barrier. 269.6, but still, I'll take it!

Second, I've really started noticing that people are treating me differently. All of my life -- literally -- I've been heavy. I've sort of resigned myself to being the "fat friend;" I'm treated as comic relief by the men, and as the platonic "shoulder to cry on" by the ladies. It may not be cruel, and it's probably not always intentional, but basically I was never taken seriously as a man. If there's one phrase I would use to describe how people treated me, it would be "non-threatening" -- not that I want to be threatening, but I want men to realize that yes, I'm a man too. And I really want that from the ladies -- even if I'm not going to act upon it, it's SUPER hard on the self-esteem to be treated as an essentially asexual "buddy" by women that you're attracted to.

That is changing. I'm noting real changes in how people react to me. Men seem to take me more seriously now, listening carefully to what I have to say before talking (or talking over me). And women, well that's a pleasant surprise. I was out working on my motorcycle in the garage the other day and a neighbor stopped by to explain why her car was parked in front of our house. After a moment some part of my brain was thinking "why is this explanation, which should be taking all of 5 seconds, going on so long?" And then I noticed that she was smiling at me and adjusting her hair. Finally, she said "hi, I'm so-and-so" (we hadn't met) and then surprisingly, gave me a hug.

I thought nothing of it and went about my business, but it was tickling at the back of my brain. Finally, about 70 miles out on my ride, it hit me: she was flirting with me. Now, she was an attractive younger lady -- the kind I would never think was "in my league." I'm not shopping around -- I have a girlfriend -- but still, it was pleasant and surprising to realize that an attractive woman possibly 15 years my junior was really trying hard to flirt with me.

So yeah, people are really treating me differently. I have to say... I like it :thumbup1:

[CraftyChristie 62]

That is so awesome! I don't even know what it would be like for a guy to flirt with me. It's pretty much never happened LOL! It would take me a while to catch on, too!!

Glad you are doing so well and feeling so happy :thumbup1:

[SouthernSleever 228]

Right on! That's great!

[shrinkinggrl 0]

No more friend zone for you, Chris Grander! YAY YOU!

[clk 3,519]

Congrats on the milestones and thanks for sharing. It's completely thoughtless but I'd never taken the time to consider how an overweight man is treated by other men and women. Your story made me realize that I know other men that probably feel the same way, and I've always assumed that they didn't have the same issues socially that overweight women have (yeah, I guess I'm really self-centered).

Thanks for making me more aware. And again, congrats!

~Cheri

[Jane_J 117]

Hehe, Oroboro, don't turn into a tart now LOL !!!

It's so good when these things happen mate.

Jane xx

PS I told you you were lookin hot, listen to the Janenator!

[Maddie 9]

That's huge, gratz.

[thinoneday 445]

how totally cool is that! Good for you!

[wannalise 16]

How awesome! I have realized that when other people treated us as invisible we take on that role. I present myself differently now and people warm to that. I am so excited for you!!! And please we can all see from your pic that you are a hunk!

[cwalker 12]

Congats on the NSV. I know it was a ego boost and those are wonderful after all our hard work.