Do you worry about our society's obsession with beauty?

[Jachut 487]

It frustrates me. Take Australian Big Brother at the moment. There was a mother daughter pair went in there, both had had recent boob jobs as a mother/daughter thing Big fat bouncy plastic huuuuuuuge boobs on the pair of them, stick thin as they were. The mother has been voted out - but she was fake tanned, hair extensioned, acrylic nailed to the max and the daughter, who is still there spends most of her day putting on make up and lying in the sun.

Lets not even mentioned the mother looked like old shoe leather, the oldest lookign 36 year old I have ever seen, and is encouraging the 19 year old daughter in this behaviour. Lets not even mention skin cancer!

What bothers me is my stupid husband ogling this 19 year old. She's 19. Where's the respect for the beauty, intelligence and experience of a more mature woman? Apparently that's all worth nothing if gasp, she has a bit of cellulite. He scoffs and makes derisive remarks whenever any woman near normal looking comes on the television screen. There's been a more normal looking girl in there and her whole experience in the house has been about how ugly she is (and that's been the boys main topic of conversation). She's actually gorgeous! Just not blonde and big boobed. What my husband fails to appreciate is how much time and money goes into looking the way these women do and bitches and moans about the fact that I spend money to cover my grey hair and get my nails done. What mixed messages!

I know he loves me for who and what I am now but it infurates me when he behaves like this in front of the kids. Especially our daughter. I do not want her growing up thinking she has to fit a mould and that she has a useby date. I never want to see that kind of neanderthal behaviour in my sons.

It doesnt affect my self esteem. I'm no barbie doll. And just personally, whilst I dont judge others for doing it and certainly not where its truly warranted, there's no way I'd go under the knife again for cosmetic surgery when I really feel I"m good enough. Ive talked about a breast lift but I wouldnt actually do it. I feel there was a strong element of vanity in my band surgery and I think I've used up my quota. More power to those that do it FOR THEMSELVES. I struggle with this too, sometimes wanting to do stuff like go in a tanning bed to look nice and brown. But overall I value being healthy more than being beautiful.

I just see around me how much misery and disappointment people feel in themselves because they're not perfect enough and I just wanted to say I think they're valuing the wrong things! Its not wrong but look around you, nobody's perfect. Go easy on yourselves, you're all beautiful in your own way.

[Marimaru 7]

Jaqui, I worry about this for myself,as well as my sisters. Beyond 'society', we also had our dad put it us on strict diets and workouts (me starting from 8 years old), and so it's kind of engrained into our childhood psyche that we don't look good. I wasn't unhealthy when I was banded, and now that I'm moving farther and farther away from the health risks brought on by obesity, it's all vanity from here. I'm terribly afraid that even at goal, and even with the plastic surgery I want, I wont be happy with how I look, no matter what anyone says. I don't know if it's because I "wont look like those models in those magazines (which I honestly don't want to look like)" or because "I just don't see it". Plastic surgery wise, all I want is to get my breasts lifted, and then *maybe* a Tummy Tuck, and even more *maybe* is thighs and arms, and that all depends on skin... which may end up ok in the end without surgery.

My youngest sister is about 125, soaking wet, and keeps starting crash diets. Fortunately, I know the weight she loses wont stay off, but she wont listen to anyone tell her she looks good now, and that she doesn't look good when she loses more weight.

The middle one (I'm the oldest) wants to lose 35 to 40 lbs, but really probably only has 20 to lose, and I hope she can see it when she gets there. She was always a skinny little thing, but then got into, and then out of drugs, and gained probably 30 or 40 lbs, but has already lost a good deal of that.

I wish they would quit airbrushing models. They are already models, they don't need extra fixing!!

[Wheetsin 714]

It's the difference between what you want to look at, and what you want to come home to. Most of my friends are guys, and I'd say that at least 95% of them, while they like to look at the model, don't want the high maintenance/expense/vanity/esteem/etc. issues that come along with it. Maybe they want it for a weekend, but not long-term.

(As a side note, about 4 years ago one of the magazines ran a study on males' preferences in what they want to fantasize about being with, and what they actually want to be with. They used a pool of celebrities to gauge interest. Nearly 100% of guys fantasized about Pamela Anderson, but nearly 100% of guys actually wanted to be with Jennifer Anniston, and the quality they attributed to her most was, "homely". Granted, Jennifer Anniston is still cuter than your average woman, but she's a far cry from blond/big-boobed/etc).

I don't mind if my husband notices an attratice woman - I certainly notice an attractive guy - but we both know we're not allowed to touch, nor do we want to. I figure - "If he's too old to look, he's too old to do me any good."

Toa nswer the original question - no, I don't worry about it. I have so many other "pressing" things to worry about there just isn't time, and even if there were - it's going to happen regardless so it's just not worth it IMO. I disgaree with the practices, but society will always define what it thinks is beautiful (actually media defines what is beautiful, and society bites).

[vinesqueen 2]

The only part I worry about is the damage it does to the young. My younger sister was a trophy bride until she got too old to be a trophy, and was traded in for a younger model. Her entire sense of self worth was only tied to what she looked like, not what she was or new, or anything else.

She's since realized that she has value beyond what her face, body and hair look like, she's realized that she has value simply because she *is*.

I worry at the impossible standard of beauty, the foolish trout lips, the boob-jobs, the botox injections and such will continue to even more outlandish actions.

I worry that eventually there is no way a young woman will ever feel good about the way she looks. I wonder how many of us on this board are truely happy with how we look now.

I know that I've had some plastic surgery to repair the damage from a really bad motorcycle accident. Reconstructive work, but this has also helped me feel better about my body. I know that I'm plannig to have a breast reduction and lift, and I'm going to have a Tummy Tuck. I don't know that my motives are pure reconstruction, since I know that I will feel better after these procedures. But I will also look better, and clothes will fit me better. That's important because I don't have a team of tailors making me the custom clothing that would fit me.

But I suspect that I am very different from most people. I don't give a damn what people think about my appearance. But then again, I don't think they are paying attention to me either. I figure they are all wrapped up in their own thoughts and concerns that someone as boring as myself goes un-noticed

[Victoriana 10]

I wonder if I am fooling myself, but I like to look nice, I don't have the look of a model, just try to keep my appearance as if I care about myself and that I am worth the care. I do it for me, and If others do or don't like it thats not really worth my concern. If others want to do more or less than I for appearances, Its OK, I don't judge them for it. As long as some one is clean thats what matters. If someone sits in front of a TV and gets their jollies off criticizing others, its not about appearances, its about trying to make themselves feel better about something. It may not have anything to do with beauty at all.

[K@t 38]

To be honest I don't think I care what the rest of society thinks. The only opinions that matter to me are my own and my family/close friends. And even then my opinion rules over all of theirs. I try to look and feel good about myself in my own way. I don't worry about what others think.

There has always been and probably always will be impossible standards of beauty, and there will be those girls who decide that its worth the effort and those who decide to use their time for something more productive. It's just how society is. And beyond that we as humans have sooooooooo many different definitions of what's beautiful. As the old saying goes Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And it really is.

[FunnyDuddies 6]

I worry about it a lot. I belong to a few eating disorder web boards because when I was younger I struggled with anorexia. You would not believe how many teens (i am talking about 9yo to 16 year olds) come on those sites looking for "tips and tricks" to safely become anorexic. It is sad. Our society has really reached a dangerous level I think. It is sick how girls strive to be as light as possible with no regard to their health.