MINI-Me 196 Posted August 12, 2010 OK ... Maybe this is going to sound really small of me, but people are annoying me. 6 months ago, clerks were not friendly ... they took care of my purchases, etc and sent me on my way. Now, that I am a "normal" weight, I find people trying to strike up conversations, giving me an extra few minutes in line, etc. Take this morning for instance. My car needed gas, so I stopped by the Quik-Mart for gas. I decided to run in for a drink while the car was filling up. I walk in the door and get greeted with a "Good Morning. How are you today?" from the clerk. I respond and go over to pick out my drink. I try to check out (with 3 people behind me) and he starts chatting about the day. My total was $2.16 and I gave him a $5.00 bill. He made a big production of counting back my money, taking a penny out of the Penny Jar and giving me back $2.85 instead of $2.84. I don't remember a clerk EVER voluntarily taking a penny out for me before. What gives? Like I said, I know I seem small in this, but it's really bothering me ... Why should I be treated differently now? I'm still the same person - same thoughts, feelings, and day to day routine (minus all the meal time). Does a thin person deserve less pennies in their wallet than a fat person?!?!?!?!?! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lori21769 14 Posted August 12, 2010 I'd argue that you are not the same person. As you lose the weight, you project more confidence, happiness and probably are more out-going. I know people respond to that energy. Whenever we feel good about ourselves, others feel good about us too. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MINI-Me 196 Posted August 12, 2010 I can see where you are coming from and appreciate your feedback, but I really don't think so ... It's like people are finally noticing me now (weird since I now take up less space) where before I was just "there". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Mary Gordon 3 Posted August 12, 2010 rather than feeling irritated, i think you should take it as a compliment....don't worry about the past, live the present and enjoy all those nice things that are happening to you..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lamsunshine 2 Posted August 12, 2010 I'm single, and my mom is always saying after my surgery I may want to start dating. I tell her I doubt it, if a guy does not like me now because I'm over weight, I will not give him the time of day when I'm thinner. Plus I can not wait to become thin and see my exhusband who left me because of my weight, and flant myself in front of him, and then tell him where he can go. JERK I agree with mini-me, why should we be treated any less because we are over weight. I say they are the shallow ones, and we maybe come thin, but I think we will all treat overweight people like everyone else because we have been there. I can say from personal experience that when I was younger and thin, I did treat overweight people different, and I was a very shallow person, and I guess you can say maybe the Lord made me this way for a reason, because with the weight gain, I became a good person on the inside, and now I feel what all those people I made fun in high school felt, because they were over weight. I hope this made sense. lol Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MINI-Me 196 Posted August 12, 2010 I'm single, and my mom is always saying after my surgery I may want to start dating. I tell her I doubt it, if a guy does not like me now because I'm over weight, I will not give him the time of day when I'm thinner. Plus I can not wait to become thin and see my exhusband who left me because of my weight, and flant myself in front of him, and then tell him where he can go. JERK I agree with mini-me, why should we be treated any less because we are over weight. I say they are the shallow ones, and we maybe come thin, but I think we will all treat overweight people like everyone else because we have been there. I can say from personal experience that when I was younger and thin, I did treat overweight people different, and I was a very shallow person, and I guess you can say maybe the Lord made me this way for a reason, because with the weight gain, I became a good person on the inside, and now I feel what all those people I made fun in high school felt, because they were over weight. I hope this made sense. lol Thanks for understanding where I am coming from. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lisalu 89 Posted August 13, 2010 I'd like to suggest that both things are happening: people do treat us differently when we are thinner and we do project more confidence/friendliness. Men treat me differently now; I'm sure of it. However, if a man was friendly to me when I was 200 plus lbs, I was sure he was just being nice--not interested. Now I will entertain the thought that he is interested. Strange how that works. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lori21769 14 Posted August 13, 2010 I think it is unfair not to give someone a chance when you get thin. When I was single, I would not date fat men. I just didn't find them attractive. I dated a lot- but never anyone fat. It is like not wanting to date someone shorter, or bald, or of a different race. It is all about what you find attractive. I cannot fault a man that is not attracted to my body. I do the same thing. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jane_J 117 Posted August 13, 2010 I can see where you are coming from and appreciate your feedback, but I really don't think so ... It's like people are finally noticing me now (weird since I now take up less space) where before I was just "there". Hi Mini, Many people are shallow and don't really see people. Its not you, it's them, and I quite agree with what you are seeing. I watch this happening with me but i will never forget where i came from, so it cuts no ice with me. Jane x Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BlackBerryJuice 349 Posted August 13, 2010 That's unfortunate. While we seem to be getting better at finding ways to help people overcome obesity, the amount of prejudice against the obese is still staggering. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mansart 0 Posted August 15, 2010 Hey guys...aren't we prejudice against overweight people as well...if we liked it so much we would also like ourselves just the way we are and not be here trying to change ourselves. That's life we want to be perfect and everyone else wants us to be perfect to...it's part of the dream. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jane_J 117 Posted August 15, 2010 (edited) Hey guys...aren't we prejudice against overweight people as well...if we liked it so much we would also like ourselves just the way we are and not be here trying to change ourselves. That's life we want to be perfect and everyone else wants us to be perfect to...it's part of the dream. Maybe this would be true if being very overweight did not have health implications and carrying all that weight didn't make you tired and achy. Also other people prejudice can harm your social life and career. Jane x Edited August 15, 2010 by Jane_J Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lamsunshine 2 Posted August 15, 2010 Maybe this would be true if being very overweight did not have health implications and carrying all that weight didn't make you tired and achy. Also other people predudice can harm your social life and career.Jane x I agree with you Janex, . My main reason I'm going to be having the surgery is so that I am no longer a time bomb for a heart attack, don't develope diabetes, hopefully get rid of this sleep apnea, and take care of my many other health problems that are related to my overweight. Sure I would be lieing if I said the thought of being thinner does not excite me, but the thought of being able to play tennis, going hiking, being able to ride a roller coaster, and do many other activities with my daughter, all that is the main reason I'm getting sleeved and I get extremely excited thinking about. She is talking about us going white Water rafting or something crazy like that next summer, and to hear the excitement in her voice that is what this is all about. :thumbup: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
breezy 8 Posted August 15, 2010 I noticed that I became "invisible" to people when I was heavier. It seemed they just wouldn't notice me much. I also thought it had something to do with being older. I've been watching to see if people notice me more since I have lost weight. I feel like they do. Men, especially. I am wondering, also, if I have to look for a new job, will I have a better chance in the interviewing process? I think losing the weight will probably help there, too. I've felt some irritation about this. I am the same person, thinner or fatter. But, then again, if it helps me land a job, I'm thankful to be able to play that angle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MlkPas 5 Posted August 15, 2010 Mini-Me, I am totally with you on this. Anybody who denies the amount of hatred and prejudice out there against fat people -- especially fat women and ESPECIALLY fat women over, say, age 35, is just. not. paying. attention. And I think it's just plain sad when fat people or formerly fat people try to blame it on themselves or other fat people in the form of something like "Oh, you're just a BETTER PERSON now that you're thin, and THAT's why people are nicer to you." Uh, no. :nono: If anybody wants to actually educate themselves on this issue, you might want to google "thin privilege" and do a little reading. Just sayin' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites