The Power of Anxiety

[Estrellita 6]

I've been posting several questions regarding weird sensations that freak me out. The night before last I awoke to a sensation of heat that traveled from my stomach to my chest area to my left arm. I freaked out and thought I was having a heart attack. It slowly went away, but yesterday almost all day I had a racing heart and the left arm tingling feeling didn't subside. I called my nurse and she returned my call around 6 PM. Our conversation was very enlightening.

She went through several procedural questions trying to learn if it was leakage, or my fears: heart attack, body paralysis (I know I'm hysterical). Thank God, it's not symptoms for any of these. I'm tolerating liquids and soft foods, Protein drink, and my Vitamins. I have no pain, no nausea, no vomiting, no dizziness, and my lightheadedness is virtually gone. These are great news! So what's causing my accelerated heart, heat sensations, and left arm tingling? ANXIETY!

Before surgery I had mild depression, only during PMS days, but never anxiety. This is new to me. The nurse explained that after surgery there is rise in hormone levels, including estrogen (as some of you who responded to my questions also suggested). This rise in hormones could lead to depression and/or anxiety. I knew she was right because I've been an emotional wreck. Any new physical sensation, as normal as it is to bariatric surgery, freaks me out. I think I'm gonna die and I spiral downward from that thought. I've gone as far as telling my 16 year to be strong in case I die, and I've delivered to my family my last wishes and instructions on caring for my girls. I've cried like I don't remember crying before, and I'm experiencing emotions and thoughts I don't remember having had before. All this is creating anxiety, and anxiety is manifesting itself in physical symptoms. It's the cause for my racing heart, heat sensations, and tingling feelings. I now know it is. I never believed anxiety to be so powerful.

After getting off the phone with the nurse I decided to move back into my mom's house for two more weeks. I don't want to be alone at home, frightening my kids and husband. At mom's I have the perfect support system. My oldest sister practices meditation, my other sister is great at rationalizing, which subside my fears, my youngest sister is awesome with my 8 year old, and my mother makes sure I take naps and makes the best vegetable Soups. I stayed there a week and a half after surgery, but then left home. I'm back and so are my sisters (mom is delighted!).

Yesterday I meditated, had a good cry, talked long with my family, and went to bed early. In bed I practiced breathing excercises, and tried hard to not dwell on fears. I slept good and today haven't experienced the heat, acceleration, or tingleness. I'm hopeful again.

Those of you pre-ops, you need a support system. I expected to be pain free, on my feet, ready to go three weeks after surgery. Yes I'm pain free, on my feet, but I'm not really ready to go. I tire easy, and above all, I'm struggling emotionaly. This was soooo unexpected, but I'm taking the challenge.

Something else the nurse recommeded that I'm following through on is to stop reading horror bariatric stories online. I've read horrendous stories, that I'm sorry to hear about, and do terrify me, but now is not the time to delve into them. I should've done that before surgery, not now, especially not now. That was adding to my anxiety. So I don't recommned any post-ops to do so. This is the only site I'm sticking to, and it's all I need.

Don't underestimate the power of anxiety. It will cause physical symptoms, some scary and very concerning. Contact your dr, even if you're sure it's anxiety, just to make sure. My nurse told me to get my heart checked, and I will. But, calm down. Practice a relaxation method, do breating excersices, and reach out. I continue to have mixed emotions about my decision to get surgery, and I'm still nervous about my future life and health. But, I'm trying to be my old optimistic self and believe that all will be fine.

[Maddie 9]

I'm glad you found out what was causing the problems for you. But, I am really glad that you are learning how to deal with it. Most people don't take anxiety seriously enough and that's when it can cause you some grief. Best of luck on moving forward. thanks for posting this, I'm sure many will find it to be an eye opener.

[Kimmysil 0]

OMG!! I am so sorry you are feeling like this now. I am on the other end of the spectrum and I'm taking anxiety medication and seeing a psychiatrist and psychologist for my anxiety which started back in 08. Take your time, try to relax, I listen to my ipod when I'm having an episode. And I think the nurse was right, find a friend to help you and dont read so much into those who have had horror stories. You've survived and your on your way to a new and happy life...the rest of your life you will be healthy because you made a choice to lose this weight. Try to feel good about yourself. You're worth it. In my case, I can't get any psychiatrists to say I'm ok for surgery because of my panic attacks so u could be on my side of the spectrum.

Kim :-)

[TEXAS DIVA 10]

Omg..im glad that you came to the source of your symptoms..I have the most demanding and stressful job ever...before my recent vacation to jamaica i was an emotional wreck..the time away did me some good..coming back from vacation and looking at the pictures, i have without a doubt decided on wls which will be done in october...now, i have anxiety again about dying on the table, wls horror stories i have read and so forth..i think it is just the devil...im afraid because i have children that need me but i need to do this to save myself...i just keep praying and meditating..im a christian so im not afraid of death, just afraid of leaving my children behind with no one to look out for them..im constantly nervous and upset...in other words, i feel for your situation..keep praying, keep meditating and things will get better.

[Estrellita 6]

I know your fears well Texas Diva. I'm terrified of abandoning my kids. I have an amazing 16 year old who is ready to take on the world and change it for the best, and I want to be around to encourage her and see it happen. I also have the most creative, curious, jolly, loving 8 year old I've ever met. Leaving them builds immense remorse, guilt, and regret about having had surgery. But I know this is emotional, because physically I have had NO complications. No infections, no leakage...no nothing. I've had weird sensations that are slowly fading, or becoming less recurrent. Cognitively I know I'm ok. I know I'm on my way to healing well, and being my old self again (a better version of it actually). However, the message hasn't reached my emotions. I'm struggling with feeling safe. I decided I will no longer read surgeries gone bad, unless complications arise. I'm reaching out to God, who unfortunately I didn't involve enough in my pre-op preparations. I'm trying to focus on the progress I see daily, because there is progress daily. I'm meditating and cherishing every moment with my kids and family.

I'm lucky my job gives me the summer off (I teach middle school). You need to make sure you cool off before surgery. I'm nervous that stress from your job will carry into your surgery and after. Take a few days off before surgery and as many as possible after. The odds of dying in surgery are minimal. Fears are normal, but let them go. My advice would be to prepare the best for post-surgery. Have your support circle ready, your spiritual readings at hand, and definitely no work. Make that clear to your employer and to yourself. You've worked hard, and now it's time for you.

In my sleepless nights I came across a passage that I wake up to every morning now:

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind. -II Timothy 1:7

God's spirit is all this, and so is ours! How divine is this!

You'll do great Texas Diva. We all will!

[TEXAS DIVA 10]

Hallelujah!! Im over here at my desk crying...thank you so much for your words of encouragement estrellita...they mean sooooooo much...it is also confirmation for me that i am doing the right thing...the fact that someone can relate to me makes me feel less strange and isolated. It is incredible how god will use people to intercede...thanks so much for sharing..your words really touched me!

[beingdina 64]

On 07/27/2010 at 13:21, Estrellita said:

I've been posting several questions regarding weird sensations that freak me out. The night before last I awoke to a sensation of heat that traveled from my stomach to my chest area to my left arm. I freaked out and thought I was having a heart attack. It slowly went away, but yesterday almost all day I had a racing heart and the left arm tingling feeling didn't subside. I called my nurse and she returned my call around 6 PM. Our conversation was very enlightening.

She went through several procedural questions trying to learn if it was leakage, or my fears: heart attack, body paralysis (I know I'm hysterical). Thank God, it's not symptoms for any of these. I'm tolerating liquids and soft foods, Protein drink, and my Vitamins. I have no pain, no nausea, no vomiting, no dizziness, and my lightheadedness is virtually gone. These are great news! So what's causing my accelerated heart, heat sensations, and left arm tingling? ANXIETY!

Before surgery I had mild depression, only during PMS days, but never anxiety. This is new to me. The nurse explained that after surgery there is rise in hormone levels, including estrogen (as some of you who responded to my questions also suggested). This rise in hormones could lead to depression and/or anxiety. I knew she was right because I've been an emotional wreck. Any new physical sensation, as normal as it is to bariatric surgery, freaks me out. I think I'm gonna die and I spiral downward from that thought. I've gone as far as telling my 16 year to be strong in case I die, and I've delivered to my family my last wishes and instructions on caring for my girls. I've cried like I don't remember crying before, and I'm experiencing emotions and thoughts I don't remember having had before. All this is creating anxiety, and anxiety is manifesting itself in physical symptoms. It's the cause for my racing heart, heat sensations, and tingling feelings. I now know it is. I never believed anxiety to be so powerful.

After getting off the phone with the nurse I decided to move back into my mom's house for two more weeks. I don't want to be alone at home, frightening my kids and husband. At mom's I have the perfect support system. My oldest sister practices meditation, my other sister is great at rationalizing, which subside my fears, my youngest sister is awesome with my 8 year old, and my mother makes sure I take naps and makes the best vegetable Soups. I stayed there a week and a half after surgery, but then left home. I'm back and so are my sisters (mom is delighted!).

Yesterday I meditated, had a good cry, talked long with my family, and went to bed early. In bed I practiced breathing excercises, and tried hard to not dwell on fears. I slept good and today haven't experienced the heat, acceleration, or tingleness. I'm hopeful again.

Those of you pre-ops, you need a support system. I expected to be pain free, on my feet, ready to go three weeks after surgery. Yes I'm pain free, on my feet, but I'm not really ready to go. I tire easy, and above all, I'm struggling emotionaly. This was soooo unexpected, but I'm taking the challenge.

Something else the nurse recommeded that I'm following through on is to stop reading horror bariatric stories online. I've read horrendous stories, that I'm sorry to hear about, and do terrify me, but now is not the time to delve into them. I should've done that before surgery, not now, especially not now. That was adding to my anxiety. So I don't recommned any post-ops to do so. This is the only site I'm sticking to, and it's all I need.

Don't underestimate the power of anxiety. It will cause physical symptoms, some scary and very concerning. Contact your dr, even if you're sure it's anxiety, just to make sure. My nurse told me to get my heart checked, and I will. But, calm down. Practice a relaxation method, do breating excersices, and reach out. I continue to have mixed emotions about my decision to get surgery, and I'm still nervous about my future life and health. But, I'm trying to be my old optimistic self and believe that all will be fine.

I searched “post-op anxiety” and yours was the first I found. I’m doing that to myself right now. My first 3 days post op I spent away from home with my parents and tonight is my first night at home and I’ve been spiraling for about 2 hours. I can’t shit my brain off. A pill got stuck and that started the whole ugly mess. I wish I could recover with my parents for another week or two, but they live 6 hours away.

[Frustr8 7,886]

Sending a hug across the miles to You. Not depressed, they say many get that way, been depressed before, could tell if I were heading there again. Not sorry for my surgery, never will be! My worthiness today? I feel my body is failing me, it doesn't seem to work as well as others the same distance post-surgery. Then I remember they are half or a third my age, maybe I should not be so hard on ME, this surgery asked a lot of a 72 year old body, maybe it is moving at a correct speed. It just stings when I read Almost. a month since surgery, walked around Mall all morning, went home and cooked family a 4 course meal, now hubby and I going. to(fill in name) Rock Concert and we won't go home until 1 AM." Meanwhile I'm walking. in my house, some in the yard outside and walk from car to electric cart at Wal-Mart because,it makes me dizzy and short of breath to push regular one, even for a few items.Its like they are in an alternate universe!
Take it easy, Rome wasn't built in a day, even though the Goths and Visigoths pretty bad we a mess of things, you will get there and I suspect I will too!

[clsumrall 535]

Frustr8 hope your energy will return soon. When is your next md appt? Are you sleeping ok? I’m 61 and today is my 1 month out and I feel more tired today than the first 2 weeks. Saw the doctors yesterday and they told me I’m need to calm down doing too much too soon but I’m an ADD over controlling freak and want to be a PERFECT patient. So I said self. Settle down do what they have asked me to do and be chill. Thinking of you. We will do this and be the best us we can be.