Seeing is Believing

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I've been a forum member for awhile now, I am going to be sleeved on July 14th with Dr. Jossart in San Francisco. I have been a faithful reader and contributor here on the forum since joining; I've read the successes, the stalls, the worries, the NSV's, the complications. I've seen the tickers showing weight loss, showing goal, showing loss beyond goal.

And with all of this information, all of this knowledge, now that it is me heading to the OR instead of watching it happen on the forum, I am hitting this patch of ...not disbelief exactly... maybe some panic? I close my eyes and try to visualize the days immediately following surgery. The sipping of Water and broth, the gentle walking. I try to visualize losing 5 lbs, 10 lbs, 25 lbs ... and that's where I hit a wall. Maybe it is because I have never had a successful weight loss higher than 25 lbs before. I'm also having a difficult time grasping the concept that a few tiny sips of broth are going to fill me up and satiate me. I couldn't do this without the support and information this forum has brought to me but at the same time, I suddenly realize I will be doing this alone ... no husband who is doing it with me, no girlfriend who is maybe going to do it soon too... and once I finish vacation and return to work, I will be in a work environment 24/7 with people who don't know about it and wouldn't understand the first thing about weight struggle. I'm getting anxious too.

[Bornagainbabe 4]

It's easy for people to keep responding that you will be fine when you're sat worrying about it all but you really will be. I didn't have those kind of worries at all as I was more excited by the prospect of finally getting something done that would empower me to lose weight once and for all. I was worried about surgery and diet afterwards etc. but it really isn't that much of an issue as long as you do as they tell you and follow the pre and post-op diet guidelines.

Everyone on this site is always here to help answer questions too and many know far more about it than I do.

I say chill out, do your pre-op diet and then take each day as it comes after surgery. You will be losing loads of weight and looking great day by day so concentrate on that. I can't comment on the work issue as I didn't work at the time and told all my friends and family all about it. Everyone was very supportive and they still are but if you don't want anyone knowing don't tell them. I am sure that there are other people here who can advise you on that.

Good luck x

[Maddie 9]

The anxiety is normal. For me, it didn't go away until the surgery was over. I can completely understand about hitting the wall after 25 lbs. I only lost more than that on maybe 2 occasions, and it didn't come easy then. I'm only 1 month out, but I'm not worried about the sleeve not continuing to work for me. The further out I get, the more comfortable with it I get. I find it hard to believe I am saying this, but I have already gotten used to the smaller portion sizes. I can't even imagine trying to eat a large portion. It just seems very natural now.

As far as your co-workers. If you don't want them to know what's up, so be it. It's nobody's business unless you want it to be. There is no reason that they can't simply buy into the fact that you are changing your eating habits in an attempt to get healthier, after all that's the truth, isn't it?

You have to pamper your body after any kind of surgery, not just WLS. But, soon those days fade away and you are focused on your new life. Best of luck, I wish for you a speedy recovery. I hope you will keep us posted as to your progress.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I really didn't tell anyone and I went to Mexico by myself.

Try not to worry. The sleeve works great. There are stalls, and everyone has them. Just try to remember your body has to get used to it's new weight, and when it does, you'll start dropping again.

The chat room is a great source of support. We chat in the evenings. Are you on the west coast since you're having surgery in SF?

It helps to know which time zone you're in cause people come and go in the chat room in the evenings depending on which time zone they are in.

[texaschick 0]

I too was nervous about the time immediately post surgery. I am a big baby when it comes to pain and I thought I was going to be whining and moaning for days. Quite frankly, this was a breeze for me. I am almost worried because it has been too easy. I am about 4 weeks out now and have not had a problem eating at all. The weight loss hasn't been as great as I had hoped, but I am thinking it may be due to the "dreaded 3 week stall".

Go in with a positive attitude. Reach out for support where you can, people really do love to help. Let the negative or non-supportive comments roll off of you. I have been very open to everyone that asks. I let them know that I have a family history of obesity, heart disease etc and I have severe osteoarthritis in my knees. I am 50 now and it ain't getting any easier to lose weight. This is a tool (although more extreme) just like The Biggest Loser, etc

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I will be having the surgery in SF but I work in Iraq, which is 10hrs ahead of PST. I think I will join in the chat while I am stateside.

[LAN2k 18]

I will be having the surgery in SF but I work in Iraq, which is 10hrs ahead of PST. I think I will join in the chat while I am stateside.

You will be back to work in Iraq? Your concerns are valid. I am concerned. Will you have immediate access to a good hospital facility equip with qualified knowledgeable surgeons in the event that you need care?

[Globetrotter 1,340]

You will be back to work in Iraq? Your concerns are valid. I am concerned. Will you have immediate access to a good hospital facility equip with qualified knowledgeable surgeons in the event that you need care?

Yes, I have access to good medical care here and my surgeon has said that I may contact him every single day if I want to. I will only be here for a couple more months after surgery anyway. Also I'll have a month to recuperate before heading back.

My imagination runs away with me sometimes and I picture losing barely 5 pounds a month, basically what I could have lost on my own without the surgery. I know we aren't supposed to admit that the speed of weight loss is a nice bonus, but I'm admitting it. I think it would be a real blow if the weight came off pound by very slow pound. How will I stop myself from eating reese's Peanut Butter cups? I may be panicking.

[Mi-Mi 0]

i am panicing as well. as i've said in other posts i am failing miserably at losing any weight before my surgeon consult tomorrow. i am second guessing myself. i am obsessing over the foods i so love.

i don't think i ever realized what an attachment i have to food. psychologically i can't tell you what that attachment is... but i can equate it to the feelings i will have when my favorite dog dies. i'm sitting here waiting... waiting for my 8 year old dog to die.... and waiting for the food that i've spent 29 years with to just disappear.

is that weird? i think i can answer my own question and say that yes... yes it's very weird. and very VERY real. i cannot imagine myself sitting around eating Jello (which i despise) while my friends and my hubs sit around the table enjoying roast... potatoes... mac and cheese.... baked Beans.... garlic bread.... corn casserole....

*sigh* this is torture. am i ready for this? i HAVE to be! but i'm scared. and all of this i'm going through very very quietly, except for on this forum. everyone knows i'm having surgery. nobody knows (until now) that i'm secretly mourning my food. i mean, i joke about it... but i haven't expressed the serious panic that i'm feeling. i wonder why? i might do that, starting now.

[LAN2k 18]

I see. My concern is when you are in Iraq, should any medical issues arise related to your sleeve surgery, will you have a medical facility there? I would suggest that before you depart from the states that you get copies of all of your bariatric weight loss surgery records and certainty that your surgeon here can be contacted by the medical doctors in Iraq. As far as your concern for slow or little weight loss? I doubt you will find your fears come to fruition. You will quickly find out how little you are able to consume and how ill you would become if all you were to eat were foods like Reeses Peanut Butter cups. It's good that you are going to have some time here to recover and get accustomed to the changes...which are seriously real. Keep us posted with any of your concerns throughout and best wishes to a successful, smooth uneventful surgery and recovery.

[LAN2k 18]

i am panicing as well. as i've said in other posts i am failing miserably at losing any weight before my surgeon consult tomorrow. i am second guessing myself. i am obsessing over the foods i so love.

i don't think i ever realized what an attachment i have to food. psychologically i can't tell you what that attachment is... but i can equate it to the feelings i will have when my favorite dog dies. i'm sitting here waiting... waiting for my 8 year old dog to die.... and waiting for the food that i've spent 29 years with to just disappear.

is that weird? i think i can answer my own question and say that yes... yes it's very weird. and very VERY real. i cannot imagine myself sitting around eating Jello (which i despise) while my friends and my hubs sit around the table enjoying roast... potatoes... mac and cheese.... baked Beans.... garlic bread.... corn casserole....

*sigh* this is torture. am i ready for this? i HAVE to be! but i'm scared. and all of this i'm going through very very quietly, except for on this forum. everyone knows i'm having surgery. nobody knows (until now) that i'm secretly mourning my food. i mean, i joke about it... but i haven't expressed the serious panic that i'm feeling. i wonder why? i might do that, starting now.

Thanks for being honest. I KNOW your heartache. I suggest you look for a support group. Before my sleeve gastrectomy I thought OA (Overeaters Anonymous was a laugh) but after my surgery and being cut off from that freedom of eating foods I literally had a love affair with, I found help in those rooms full of people struggling with their own food/eating obsessions. I'm 9 months out from surgery and approx. 87 lbs down.....I am still not sure that I would go through this surgery again if I knew the emotional toll it would take on me. I suggest you start talking to a professional councilor who specializes in post bariatric weight loss surgery issues and/or eating disorders. Best wishes to you in your journey.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

I am very glad that one of the perks of working for the Army is that I have access to free mental healthcare. I will definitely make use of it, along with keeping in touch with my surgeon and sharing here on the forum.

[Oregondaisy 2,021]

I am glad you will be joining us in the chat room!

[SParkle 4]

I try to visualize losing 5 lbs, 10 lbs, 25 lbs ... and that's where I hit a wall. Maybe it is because I have never had a successful weight loss higher than 25 lbs before. I'm also having a difficult time grasping the concept that a few tiny sips of broth are going to fill me up and satiate me. I couldn't do this without the support and information this forum has brought to me but at the same time, I suddenly realize I will be doing this alone ...

I had that too.... the wall.... so much so I convinced myself I wasn't going to survive the surgery as I really couldn't even begin to think I would ever reach my goal. The only thing that made me go in was the nothing ventured nothing gained thing..... I had to try, I certainly wasn't going to get to goal on my own - as I'd proved so many times before.

In a way we're all doing this alone... its us who has the surgery, the emotions etc etc..... unless we share with others, no matter if they are family colleagues friends etc. The good thing is you have us all here to help and support you.....

At the end of the day you only get one life - and what you are doing will give you such a better one in a short space of time.

Good luck.

[Globetrotter 1,340]

Thank you so much for understanding everybody!! I am getting ready start the travel journey that will take me home for surgery and journey it is; four planes, maybe a helicopter, buses, and four days straight of travel. Once I get there I am going to fall into my Mother's arms, take a deep breath, and focus on getting myself into the right mental, emotional, and psychological space to prepare for this leap for which I have assiduously prepared. Total weight I hope to drop from surgery to goal, 160 pounds, but I think that first 10 pounds is going to mean a whole lot.