Was it worth it?

[Maddie 9]

I have lost 11 lbs since surgery and I'm 3 weeks post op. I don't see the 11 lbs as a great victory. Anyone would lose weight after being on liquids for 4 weeks. It doesn't have anything to do with the surgery. I'm miserable. I still can't sleep in my bed. I measured myself and my waist is 1 1/2 inches bigger and my hips are 1 inch bigger than before surgery. My pants now fit tighter than ever. I can't eat, and I have to force myself to drink. My whole abdomen is still so sore.

I know we are all different and heal at different rates but this has just gone past ridiculous. Everyday I come here and read about how great everyone is doing. From great weight loss to crazy amounts of walking, etc. I am having a really tough time seeing a light at the end of the tunnel and I'm so scared.

[chrissysodapop 1]

Hi! I am only one week post-op and I am down over 10 after surgery. Remember you were "cut" into! your body will take up to a year to heal properly. You will be okay! I am also larger. You are swollen! Your body just went through a huge trama, and it needs to "learn" its new body! You will be okay. I am only a week out but have had several surgeries in my life and know this is the way it goes. Keep your chin up! You need to give yourself credit. I have a dog that is 11pounds! Just imagine strapping a shih-tzu to your thigh. 11 Pounds is great! Soon you will be talking about how great things are. Hang in there tiger! Best of luck!

[MINI-Me 196]

Maddie,

I am so sorry about your frustration ... it really will get better. I totally agree with Chrissy. Sounds like you are still healing and working through that process. It's hard when you are going through one of these stages, but it will pass. The weight and increase in inches REALLY IS DUE TO Water WEIGHT ... your body is holding on to all it's resources. You will get through this.

Are you able to talk with your surgeon or a nutritionist? If so, they can offer more guidance. Otherwise, stay true to your eating plan, walk as much as you can, and wait for the day you get a "whooooosh" on the scale & you start seeing the pounds melt away. It is coming very soon!

Hugs,

Mini

[Maddie 9]

Thanks Crissy and Mini, I'll do my best to keep my chin up.

[Dansha 16]

Oh Maddie, you make me want to cry. All the troubles you went thru and now your frustration about the weight loss. I agree with the previous threads. Please keep your head up and KNOW IT WILL GET BETTER, HAVE FAITH . God bless and I will keep you in my prayers.

Deb

[Lillie24 2]

Maddie,

I am only 5 weeks post op but I remember exactly where you are. I promise things will get better. The more that you can get your Protein in and slowly get more calaries and walk - the pounds will start falling off. Everyone go's through the frustration it just may be a different times. It does get better day by day just continue doing what you know you should be doing. :thumbup1:

[lmmore 0]

Be Patient. Follow the rules, and you will loose like everyone else. Best of luck

[Tiffykins 673]

I'm not going to play the "I had it worse" game, but I want you to know that I can completely empathize with you. I had a picc line in my arm that "fed" me for over 2.5 weeks with my leak, I was confined to my house other than 1 trip to Wal-Mart, and 4 doctor appointments for about a month. My son was in Texas, my husband in Afghanistan, and the only other human I saw was my home healthcare nurse came by every other day to change my dressing, and draw labs. I was literally isolated, and alone for what seemed like forever. So, when I say that the members here were literally my life line, I'm not exaggerating. If it wasn't for VegasAngel, OregonDaisy, *susan*, DeeDee and a few others that rarely frequent the site any longer, I would have literally gone crazy, and given up. I was swollen, I couldn't walk much, I wasn't losing because I was being "fed" 1800 liquid calories via the huge catheter in an artery kind of like a central line.

I slept in my recliner for weeks. I had huge jp drains that I lugged around for weeks. I was tired constantly, and I was so jealous of others that had surgery around the same time were up, out of the house, exercising, and not having to empty disgusting Fluid out of drains, change out a nutrient bag daily, and more than anything I was super jealous and honestly angry that people could eat and drink. I couldn't do either for 22 days. I lost my job, I was restricted to only minimal walking, and was not released for regular activity until I was 3.5 months post op.

The reason I'm sharing this is because I want you to know it was all worth it. There is not one single regret, and I would honestly do it all over again, with every complication, every hurdle, every depressing day that I overcame, to be living the life I have today. It's not even so much about the weight loss. It's the freedom that I have with food, I am not dieting, I'm not hiding behind that mask of the "funny fat friend", I walk proudly and never wonder if I'll fit into a booth seat. It's the little things that mean the most. I walk the mall for hours, literally 3-4 hours, browsing, and my feet don't hurt, I'm not out of breath after the first 30 minutes, my knees no longer ache. Plus, I walk around in 3 wedges or heels 90% of the time. That's worth it to me. The way I am in control of what goes in my mouth, and that I no longer look for comfort in food, or eat out of sheer boredom. I'm living, I'm not scared to do anything, well except bungee jumping, that's still too risky for me. What I'm trying to say is that right now everything looks bleak, I know it does. You can't see even a tiny glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. You probably feel like it's never going to get better, or you'll never feel "normal". Maddie, please believe me when I tell you that you will. Try to stay positive, and know that you will having many victories coming your way in a few weeks. Just give your body, mind, and heart some time to heal after everything you've been through.

Lean on us, vent, cry, scream, but do not give up. If you ever need to talk, scream, vent and you want to do it privately, shoot me a message. I'll listen, and you can just let it all out. I've done it more times than I care to count with Vegas and Oregon, and I owe them my sanity.

You'll get there, Maddie. I promise, hang in there, and keep us updated.

[Maddie 9]

Thanks for the encouragement everyone and I really mean it. Tiff, you hit it right on the head when you mentioned that fear of "never feeling normal". I'm sure you are all right and things will change soon. I hate being a whiner but, I guess things just got to me today. Thanks again.

Hugs,

Maddie

[Mary Gordon 3]

patience patience, please don't get frustrated, that will make your weightloss slower....you need to relax and think positive.