Very Sick- Please Help!

Lookinupin2010 · June 11, 2010

Please don't be embarrassed. That's how ALL of us learn to take better care of ourselves. We aren't used to taking care of US. We take care of others, and shower ourselves and other with food to show love. NOW...we have to learn (the hard way...by making ourselves sick or hurting like the dickens) that love doesn't revolve around food. That's one of the hardest lessons I think we have to learn.

Be glad it's over, and strike it up for one more lesson learned in the path of many.:scared0:

breezy · June 11, 2010

Thanks everyone for your support and i'm sorry to be such a pain in the rear!!

You weren't a pain in the rear! Don't think that. I think this forum is a wonderful way to reach out to others who are going through, or who have gone through, this process. It's a place where you can be truthful about what is going on with you.

I know I am having to re-learn how to eat, too! I'm at 8 weeks out and I find myself shoving food in my mouth like I used too. Too big of spoonfuls and trying to put more in my mouth before I've fully swallowed the first glob! I think I thought that since I accepted that I could only eat a small portion, I could still eat it the way I used to. Dumb, I know, but I wasn't really paying enough attention to what I was doing. I wasn't waiting long enough between swallows to allow the food to go all the way down. I'm trying to pay more attention now and measure out my food. I'm also concentrating on trying to get more liquids (Protein shakes included) and less on eating solid foods.

Don't worry about sharing mistakes. We all make them.

LAN2k · June 11, 2010

Jillian, i'm glad you did go to the ER. I have not had my VSG yet, but I know I would not be ready for it had I not found recovery and support for my underying eating disorder long prior to this. I see the VSG as a physiological tool in fighting a multifaceted disease. Please visit www.OA.org, locate some meetings in your area, and try 3 different meetings before deciding if OA is for you. I wish you success and believe you can find the support you seem to need, and most certainly deserve.

This is redundant (coming from me)...again,and I'm making a generalization, but I am finding support by interacting with people involved in OA. The method with which a person has dealt with their weight or eating disorder or problem is not as relevant as working towards psychological/emotion or if you will, spiritual freedom/release from captivity towards the compulsion towards food as friend and comforter. People share their "strength, hope, and experience" and, like here, it helps...albeit in increments...but one layer at a time or "one step at a time", relief ensues and the dynamic that has been played out for years begins shift into a healthier more life enhancing existence. Like the sleeve is a tool for the physical body, OA methodology is a tool for healing mind and emotion. The nice thing about it is that you attract and are attracted to people and make friends and alliances...a step further than virtual support via the Internet (which I greatly value). I hope you will consider trying this, as I think it will assist you in turning your weight loss from the sleeve into a rewarding lifestyle change. PM me anytime if you have questions or just want to vent. I stay in the loop here as I find it compliments my involvement with OA in reconstructing the new me. What ever you do regardles of your issues, physically or mentally please do not isolate. You did what you felt you had to do, so let's turn it into a positive step instead of regret. We are here for you.

LAN2k · June 11, 2010

Please don't be embarrassed. That's how ALL of us learn to take better care of ourselves. We aren't used to taking care of US. We take care of others, and shower ourselves and other with food to show love. NOW...we have to learn (the hard way...by making ourselves sick or hurting like the dickens) that love doesn't revolve around food. That's one of the hardest lessons I think we have to learn.
Be glad it's over, and strike it up for one more lesson learned in the path of many.:thumbup:

Wow ...what you stated here had momentarily brought me to tears. Thanks so much love.

JillianMarie · June 13, 2010

You weren't a pain in the rear! Don't think that. I think this forum is a wonderful way to reach out to others who are going through, or who have gone through, this process. It's a place where you can be truthful about what is going on with you.
I know I am having to re-learn how to eat, too! I'm at 8 weeks out and I find myself shoving food in my mouth like I used too. Too big of spoonfuls and trying to put more in my mouth before I've fully swallowed the first glob! I think I thought that since I accepted that I could only eat a small portion, I could still eat it the way I used to. Dumb, I know, but I wasn't really paying enough attention to what I was doing. I wasn't waiting long enough between swallows to allow the food to go all the way down. I'm trying to pay more attention now and measure out my food. I'm also concentrating on trying to get more liquids (Protein shakes included) and less on eating solid foods.

Don't worry about sharing mistakes. We all make them.

Thanks Breezy, it's much easier than you think to take too big of a bite or swallow than you realize when you aren't paying attention to it. I've been paying attention since my "incident" and have been eating very SLOWLY, and chewing until food is completely mush, (sounds yummy huh!! haha!)

To those who asked, i already did start my therapy, when i said "i'm starting", i didn't mean in the future, I've already started it, and see my psychiatrist twice a week. I am also starting a new medication to help with the OCD and compulsions, and another one that has been used to treat binge eating disorder. Hopefully with behavior modification, counseling, and the right medications I should be on my way to a good recovery.

Today, I had a very small bowl of oatmeal, well cooked, eaten over the course of an hour, 3 Protein Shakes, some cottage cheese, and scrambed eggs, all in small portions at a time, and i felt great I'm trying to lose at about a rate of 2 lbs a week until i hit my goal.

Im-Losin-It · June 13, 2010

So glad you are doing better. I have to take all meds in liquid form, or crushed for at least two more weeks. I am 4 weeks out from my surgery and have lost 26 lbs. It is a life changing experience.

citygal · June 13, 2010

I am so glad you went to the ER....pain is our bodies way of saying we need help....and I'm glad you reached out on here and took care of yourself. I am addicted to using food to deal with my emotions. Having a limited physical capacity to eat due to my sleeve has caused me to run straight into my emotions. It has not been easy....but its possible to find a way. I am connecting with a therapist to help me with these issues and have started to really connect with my desire to eat when I am under stress or feeling lonely...sending you lots good wishes for healing and happiness. PS...telling the truth is a huge step in getting better...so brava to you.

breezy · June 13, 2010

I made another eating mistake yesterday, Jillian. I went to the beach with my family and on the way home I was WAY tired, so when the family stopped at Dairy Queen, I got a small blizzard. I ate about 1 cup of it rather quickly, then even though I wasn't feeling like it was backing up on me, I stopped. About 10 minutes later, I started feeling like I was going to throw up. Got dizzy, started sweating, cramps in my tummy. Dumb, dumb, dumb. I didn't throw up and was able to finish driving home after a few minutes, but boy, I got close to throwing up in the Dairy Queen parking lot! That would have been embarrasing.

I should have just taken a couple bites of someone else's treat and not bought one for myself. But everytime I make a mistake like that, it teaches me. I think it was a combination of too much eaten, too cold, and TOO SWEET. I guess it's only been 2 months since I was able to eat anything and everything in sight and I'm still not used to having to make the changes. But almost throwing up is a compelling lesson!

Im-Losin-It · June 13, 2010

Sure hope you are feeling better today. We will adjust, and lose it and be happy we did this just a few months from now. Hang in there.

Im-Losin-It · June 13, 2010

Breezy, that is known as the "dumping syndrome" its from the sugar!!

breezy · June 13, 2010

Breezy, that is known as the "dumping syndrome" its from the sugar!!

I though dumping syndrome had to do with diarrhea! Ok, now I know! I feel fine today. My body is a little sore from running with the grandchildren, but the tummy is fine. Thanks!

Edit: I research "dumping syndrome" and that WAS what I had! I sure will be more careful in the future!

Edited June 14, 2010 by breezy

deletedsally · June 13, 2010

Good for you, Jillian!! I am really happy to hear that you are making positive changes and working hard to take good care of yourself! I hope the medication is an additional tool that will help you in your efforts to build a healthy relationship with food. As you combine therapy, behavior modification, and medication to support good eating habits for your newly resized stomach, I hope you have great success!

chelsea · June 15, 2010

Hope you feel better soon!! The nurse at my bariatric center advised us to get some sample spoons or baby spoons. She said it helps you visualize the right size bite.. She also uses a 1/4 measuring cup when she is making her meals. She said it works better for her if she actually eats out of the measuring cup. Sending you healing energy!! You will find the right balance... remember to have patience with yourself. : )

Baby spoons are such a great idea. I have some mini spoons from an event I planned that have ended up being PERFECT! The right size for what I should be eating.

[ame=http://www.amazon.com/PETITES-CLEAR-PLASTIC-TASTING-WNA/dp/B000Y1EWT0]Amazon.com: PETITES 4.2" CLEAR PLASTIC TASTING SPOON (MINI) WNA 500 CS 5/100: Kitchen & Dining[/ame]

Yes, they're super tiny, and a baby spoon would be cheaper, but it's pretty fabulous having a disposable teeny spoon I can bring along to work and toss.